Top 10 Songs of 2012: #1: Jake Owen: The One That Got Away

Wgbw, #1 is THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY by Jake Owen. The song is top notch all the way around.

The music video is OTC, the lyrics are super solid, and the beat/tune is outta control.

This song also really resonated with me because he just sings about about this gal he meets in the summer who ends up taking off. The gal part doesn't really resonate with me, but this song came out right in the middle of tha summer/Fourth of July so it was very seasonably relevant too lol. This summer was pretty OTC bw.

2012 was a hell of year for good music, and this one just had everything going for it. Hard to say how proud I am of this song.

Top 10 Songs of 2012: Flashback to 2011

Wgbw. Before I unveil the #1 song, I thought I'd flashback to 2011's #1 song, Jason Derulo's IT GIRL.

Jason Derulo is pretty mediocre but this song was OTC. How nobody thinks this wasn't the best song of the last 5 years is befuddling to me.

I get some of the lyrics are LOL (more than the grammy award), but this is still just a top notch song.

Hopefully finding the IT GIRL soon lol.

The Not Top Songs of 2012

Before we get to the most anticipated song of 2012, I felt like it was fair to the fans to go over several songs that were no where near the top 10. In no particular order...

1) Gangnam Style. I don't even know where to begin. I get it's kinda crazy when they are dancing around and stuff but holy god is this club music too much for me. Random FYI, for the longest time I thought the line was "broken condom style." I was like why on earth would they want to sing about that? lol.

2) Call Me Maybe- FWIW this song appealed to me when it first got radio time in late Feb/early March. It seemed to go off the radio but then just came back full blast and then it started to drive me up the wall, go figure.

3) Justin Bieber- I've just heard a wreck of his songs on the radio. I dunno why ones they were but they definitely weren't worth tuning into.

In the next few days I'll put up an honorable mention list for those fans who still can't figure out what's gonna be #1 lol.

Top 10 Songs of 2012: #2: Taylor Swift: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Wgbw, #2 is the tight WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER.

A brief historical background of my time with the song is partially necessary to explain its rating.

I knew she was releasing a new song but it was when I was gii at kickboxing, so I had to tune into some youtube version that was pretty bad. My hopes were high, as the first release off of her albums has generally been her best (see Tim McGraw, Love Story, Mine). When I heard the title I was a little scared off because it doesn't nearly has as much story to it as Mine or Tim McGraw did. It didn't start off on a great foot.

However, the song's just too catchy to let it slip down the pipe. I get that the lyrics aren't the most nuanced of all of her songs (lol I just realized I had this same thought 4 months ago), but it's still so solid.

The other variables that pushed it above songs 10-3 were that (1) it hasn't gotten old on me (LIKE EVER),  (2) you can always picture someone in your past life that you would scream this song at (lol), & (3) my music website that keeps an objective score of how many times I've listened to a song has this running laps around every other one.

Really solid bw.

Top 10 Songs of 2012: #3: The Band Perry: Postcard from Paris

Bw, it is with much admiration, but hesitation, that the number 3 song is Postcard from Paris.  I really struggled with the top 3 but after weeks of contemplation I am pretty sure that this is #3.

This was pretty much my jam from like late April of this year till the end of the summer. FWIW it took me awhile to figure out exactly what the song was trying to say. I mean I get the whole song is a metaphor, but for awhile I thought she was saying that her new bf was top notch and she finally realized that the old one was a turd. Later I realized she's still hung up on the old bf even tho the new one is tight.

Not that any of that really had to do with me tunin into the song lol. I just liked asking over and over again if Bricker got the metaphor lol.

I still love belting out this song whenever it comes on the radio. Top notch stuff bw.

Top 10 Songs of 2012: #4: Taylor Swift: All Too Well

Wgbw. Not much of a surprise here and I don't want to rehash stuff I've already let you tune into. I've already given a pretty solid review of the song here so we can skip that convo lol.

The only thing I would amend about my original review is that I was maybe a little too enamored with it at the time (which I obvi predicted). Don't get me wrong, those lyrics in this song are still the best lyrics of any song in the history of earth.

But I just think the song would've been better if right after the crescendo they woulda just got the song over with in the next 30 seconds or so (I.E. story of us was pretty good in that regard).

It was tough putting this at #4, but at the end of the day, 45 year old Buffalo will think this was the right call.

Top 10 Songs of 2012: #5: Drake: The Motto

Wgbw. #5 on tha top 10 songs of 2012 is Drake's The Motto.

Drake's usually really hit or miss for me. The "Best I Ever Had" was solid and so was his part in Lil Wayne's "Right Above It".

The cray part is that I really didn't like this song when it first came out. I actually hated it. (Kinda like the word "cray" lol). I dunno what it was about it but I'm tuning in now. It's probably the tight part of the song that says YOU ALREADY KNOW THO.

Fwiw DMX doesn't like his haircut lol.

Top 10 Songs of 2012: #6: Pitbull - International Love

Wgbw, #6 is the hit song INTERNATIONAL LOVE by Pitbull.

This song's lyrics are kinda goofy, but the beat is just OTC. I really don't think I could ever get bored listening to this song.

This has been one of the only pitbull songs that has had any staying power. The only other song of his I remember is that I Know You Want Me song. I only remember because Colt and I made it rain on the song when he picked me up from the airport before UFC 100 lol.

If only CB wasn't in it lol.

Top 10 Songs of 2012: #7: Kip Moore: Beer Money

Wgbw, #7 is the hit summer song BEER MONEY from Kip Moore. A few things that all the tf will learn (or should know lol) tonight.

1) I obvi have a thing for country music. For you anti-country fans out there, I know it all sounds the same. I honestly couldn't tell you who sang this song before I looked it up. But it rules. I've been making it rain on this song ever since I heard it on the radio. Even if you hate country this song rules.

2) Music videos play a (pretty) large part in this countdown. If you haven't seen this video it's worth tuning into. A lot of this reason is that someday I'm going to relocate to the south (for a better explanation of my desire to go to south check out my reviews here and here.

3) Cowboy boots. Enough said. 

Top 10 Songs of 2012: #8: Ke$ha : Die Young

Wgbw, number 8 is Kesha's Die Young. As weird as it is to say this, I'm probably more embarrassed by this song than any other on the countdown lol.

I've never been a big Kesha fan and always thought most of her songs got played on the radio way too much. This one still plays on the radio all the time but I just haven't gotten bored with it yet.  I probably should've articulated this earlier, but obvi part of the countdown is based on my ability to hear the song repeatedly without going too cray. 

I can't really put my finger on what tunes me into this song, but something does. To all the haters: at least it's not in the top 5 lol.

-buff

Top 10 Songs of 2012: #9: Holy Ground

Wgbw, #9 is TSwift's Holy Ground.

I wasn't too wild about this song at first but it grew on me pretty quick. It's got that kind of upbeat pop dance thing going on. It really reminds me of something that Julia Stiles would bump in that sick movie 10 Things I Hate About You.

The other tight part is the whole "skip the conversation when you already know" part of this song. Well, yak.

Kind of a different take for her too. She usually doesn't rep singing songs about how she really enjoyed some relationship that's over. Pretty wild stuff. 

Marriage and the courts

Not to go all political on everyone. But check out this sick marriage quote I found that references some movie lines. It's from tha 9th Cir. decision ( Perry v. Brown, 671 F.3d 1052, 1078 (9th Cir. 2012)) that's going up to the SC for review. Pretty good stuff bw,

"We need consider only the many ways in which we encounter the word 'marriage' in our daily lives and understand it, consciously or no, to convey a sense of significance. We are regularly given forms to complete that ask us whether we are "single" or "married." Newspapers run announcements of births, deaths, and marriages. We are excited to see someone ask, "Will you marry me?", whether on bended knee in a restaurant or in text splashed across a stadium Jumbotron. Certainly it would not have the same effect to see "Will you enter into a registered domestic partnership with me?". Groucho Marx's one-liner, "Marriage is a wonderful institution . . . but who wants to live in an institution?" would lack its punch if the word 'marriage' were replaced with the alternative phrase. So too with Shakespeare's "A young man married is a man that's marr'd," Lincoln's "Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory," and Sinatra's "A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late." We see tropes like "marrying for love" versus "marrying for money" played out [**16]again and again in our films and literature because of the recognized importance and permanence of the marriage relationship. Had Marilyn Monroe's film been called How to Register a Domestic Partnership with a Millionaire, it would not have conveyed the same meaning as did her famous movie, even though the underlying drama for same-sex couples is no different. The name 'marriage' signifies the unique recognition that society gives to harmonious, loyal, enduring, and intimate relationships. See Knight v. Super. Ct., 128 Cal. App. 4th 14, 31 (2005) ("[M]arriage is considered a more substantial relationship and is accorded a greater stature than a domestic partnership."); cf. Griswold, 381 U.S. at 486 ."

Top 10 Songs of 2012: #10: Taylor Swift: Eyes Open

Well no surprises here BW. #10 is TSwift's tight song Eyes Open from the soundtrack for that horrible hunger games movie/book.

It's really not one of those songs that you hear and gii on right away, but it's pretty catchy.


I think the song really resonates with me because it reflects my general stutter-stepping in life where I'm usually eager but hesitant at the same time (some deep stuff lol). It's one of those songs that's tight to meditate to lol.

\o/

Top 10 Songs of 2012

Wgbw, sorry for all the delays again. I would've (would be) blogging more but the whole Halo 4 thing has really been occupying my free time. I wish I could promise you that these posts would be more frequent, but given my OTC skills at Halo I'd be lying.

Anywho, I've never counted down the top 10 songs (well besides Taylor Swift ones lol). So my bfs, this year I'm going to do the top 10 songs of 2012 (and no worries, it's not all TSwift lol). I'm still figuring out the top of the pile, but pretty sure I have 10 songs picked out. In about an hour I'll post the honorable mentions that just made the cut!

***I should preface this by saying I have a horrible taste in music. Just know you've been warned lol.****

Crazy Dreams I had

Wgbw sorry for tha delays. I know I try and avoid these self-reflective posts, but I had the craziest dreams about these ex-lady friends the other night. Some of the stories will be (very slightly) amended and obvi the names/#s of any of the LFs will be altered.

For some context this was all in one night, and I woke up very briefly in between each one. This ish cray.

Dream 1) I was in New York (already unbelievable I know), and I was on the set of the TV show Girls. LF #3 popped out and was being filmed on the show. I kept trying to tell her I was in New York (I have no idea why) but then a bunch of her friends jumped out and told me I was a dick. Then everyone on the set starting laughing at me so I left lol.

Dream 2) I was in my work office and one of the people who interviewed me last week was sitting in my chair doing a follow up interview. They said they needed to verify my references including my (short-lived) time with LF #2. I was like, I don't really think she'd like it if I spilled all the beans about her. So I tried calling her but she ignored my call which really wasn't out of character lol. Then the guy wanted to give her immunity if I talked about her. It was weird.

Dream 3) Me and Maker (lol) were in this souped up house looking for treasure (weird I know). After we went through all these trapped doors and stuff we ran into Anderson Silva and Lebron James. The 4 of us decided to go to Walmart where we ran into LF #1. We made small talk and I asked her who this chick she was with was. She was like it's obvi the girl who walked me down the aisle when we got married. I was like 'we're married?!' Then she was mad I forgot about it lol.

Dream 4) I was going to some debate tournament and went into my hotel room. Only LF #4 was in there with some dude. And they had managed to screw up the covers of all of the beds in the hotel. And they thought it was funny. I was like SMH.

Lesson learned: no more melatonin lol

Notting Hill

1) It's really a solid RomCom. I'm not wild about British movies/tv shows generally but there's some good exceptions (Season 1 of Episodes and Love Actually), this one included.

2) It's also the first movie that made me realize that I've watched way too many girly movies in my life. We were playing trivial pursuit one night and this was the answer to one of the questions. It didn't really surprise me that I knew it, but it saddened me that everyone looked at me for the answer to the RomCom category lol.

3) As I've mentioned before, this movie is the proud home of the line "I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her." One of the all time greats BW.

4) My only real problem with the movie is that I think all the music in it is kind of bad. Obvi it matches up with the movie well but I'm just generally not tuning in. (The obvi exception to that is the "When you say nothing at all song." That song is OTC.)

B+

Ted

Wgbw, I'm sorry that the great month of October is over but I'll try to keep the blog going on a little more consistent of schedule. Anywho,

1) I actually saw this last Summer so some of my recollection of it might be skewed. I remember it being pretty funny but it's kinda goofy too. I mean, the movie's about a teddy bear that is actually alive. Outside of horror movies I'm not too gungho about make-believe movies.

2) That being said it was funny. They had a good mix of new inappropriate humor and fwiw the bear was pretty tight. The ending just kept dragging on and on with that stupid kidnapping scene. This movie will get you stir crazy by the end.

3) It's always hard for me to imagine Mark Wahlberg in these movies that aren't just based on him being a boxer or a psychotic stalker. I'm not sure this is really his cup of tea.

4) I might have a poor taste about this movie too because for some reason we were late to the movie and ended up having to sit in like the 3rd row of the theater. I'm only like 5'7" (optimistically) so throughout a lot of the movie I was pretty uncomfortable.

C

Top 10 Horror Villains: # 1 : Michael Myers

This probably isn't a surprise to any of you blog fans, but # 1 on the list of the top 10 horror villains of all time is the one & only MICHAEL MYERS.

 

Obvi the Halloween movies are the best of all the horror genre movies & you better beleive there's a reason for that. The original Halloween is OTC & almost all of the rest of them are top notch too.

 

Michael Myers is the perfect embodiment of everything tight about horror movies (and Halloween). He's got that scary stare going on, he's always stuck to what he does best when he TKO's people, he's on #teamswoll, and he only comes out to party on the greatest night of the year.

 

Everyone else pales in comparison. Wheels up to you MM \o/

Top 10 Horror Villains: #2: Jason Voorhees

WGBW, #2 on the countdown is the man from Camp Crystal Lake and lead star of the hit Friday the 13th series himself, Jason Voorhees.

Jason is pretty much all around really tight. The Hockey Mask is a tight piece of his ensemble that about anyone would recognize. He never talks and he usually walks at this slow but kind of brisk pace that makes you scared as hell because he never feels in a hurry to get to you. Another bonus is that no one ever really went to town on the whole FRIDAY THE 13TH horror movie before this, so props to them.

While some of his sequels are above par, he generally makes it rain in almost all of them.

Some trivia for some of the fans out there who may not know, Jason isn't actually the killer in the first one (his mom is), or either the 5th or the 6th one (some kid just imagines him), and he actually never puts on the hockey mask until the 3rd one.

I also have a personal connection (albeit a small one lol) in that I can't swim and generally hate going in the water.

Almost to #1! 

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween Blog World :) It's the best day of the year and we're pumped \o/

Everyone stay tuned throughout the day, got a bunch of good stuff coming for you all!

-buff

Paranormal Activity 4

1) Same old movie as the rest of them. I heard all of the reviews said that it was just the same old thing but I don't really know what people are looking for in these movies. I mean, it's obvi just gonna be a bunch of quiet moments with something crazy jumping out and scaring the hell out of everyone (myself included). You get what you pay for.

2) On that note it made me jump about every 2 minutes. I preemptively knew this and tried to preoccupy myself, but things like shadows, creepy little kids, and that weird contingent of chicks spook the hell out of me. 

3) That being said the movie didn't really wrap up any odd ends. So that Katie girl who's been in every movie is still around TKOing people, but it seems hard to figure out what they'll do with the plot now. And what was up with her letting the boyfriend hook up all the cameras in her house? He's like 'yeah let me put up a bunch in your bedroom and stuff' SMH.

It also kind of begs the question how all of these incidents get videotaped each and every time. They're kind of tossing the 'found footage' theory out the door with this one.

4) The one thing I do enjoy about watching these is trying to catch horror connections to other movies that I think always get hidden in there. The little kid riding that bike around was def from The Shining, the girl levitating from the bed was straight up the Exorcist, and the kid getting pulled into the tub was a shout-out to Nightmare on Elm Street. The last one I caught was when the kid is up goofing around with the spirit by the TV was probably a homage to Poltergeist. For all my idiotic writing, I do think I know some stuff about horror movies \o/

B

Top 10 Horror Villains #3: Freddy Krueger

WGBW #3 is Freddy Krueger from the hit Nightmare on Elm Street series.

I struggled with the top 3 quite a bit to be honest with you BW. What set Freddy apart from the top 2 is his indulgence in TKOing people in such goofy ways. The girl with the heroin scars getting stabbed with Freddy's fingers? The person getting sucked to death? They just got more ridiculous with time lol.

And (call me a n00b) but I didn't realize that he has that daughter running around that he's still sort of hanging out with? Disturbing on too many levels.  I saw that the day after Mardi Gras this year and had to hang my head all day that I had never realized that.

Anywho, this has been focused on the drawbacks of Freddy, but he's obvi a good horror villain. I mean the guys pops up in your dreams; he's one of the only horror villains who  can pull off being sort of funny while still being scary; and that theme song of his is OTC.

Good work

Pet Sematary 2

1) Actually a really solid sequel. I obvi had much love for the original which was in and of itself pretty remarkable given that a lot of Stephen King's novels don't always transition to movies well. It's even harder for me to believe a fake sequel to it is solid.

2) It was a fairly predictable storyline once it started going but it was good. It veered away from the original enough to not be boring but still managed to stay kinda true.

3) I am confused how anyone ever dies after being bitten by the animals in the cemetery.  Like that one guy just pops back to life after getting bit. It seems like they might be more like vampires in that after you get bit you just get to hang around for eternity being vampires. I mean, the only way to defeat this guy was to explode him with an electric cord? We saw how well that worked in Child's Play 2 lol.

4) Anyone catch that sick poster of Friday the 13th Part 8 up in his room? It's actually substantially better than my original review of it would have you believe. Props to the kid in the movie for recognizing this.

B

Top 10 Horror Villains: #4: Jigsaw

#4 on the list is that creepy Jigsaw guy from all the Saw movies.

I'm not gonna lie, a big part of the reason he makes it so high up on the list is that he has some of the tightest catchphrases of all time. The "I want to play a game" and "All your life" are all real tight. It's why when Ronnie and I talk in that voice it never gets old lol.

The other part that makes Jigsaw fit the mold of a horror villain is that he just keeps popping back up. Even after he dies he leaves all those messages from beyond the grave, and they just keep having flashbacks to when he was around in the older movies. 

It's also really tight when he makes his appearances through that creepy puppet thing that rides around on a bike. Now that's some spooky stuff.

Top notch scary stuff \o/

Top 10 Horror Villains: #5: Chucky

#5 is Chucky from the hit Child's Play movies.

I'm not overtly wild about any of the movies, but Chucky's place on this list is based almost solely on my fear of him that plagued me for the better part of a decade.

For those of you who don't know the backstory, I first saw Child's Play 2 when I was in 6th grade. I literally couldn't sleep for weeks. I accidentally saw a Chucky doll in the mall a few months later and had to take off running out of the store it was so creepy.

This followed me from my adolescence into my first few years of college where everyone thought it was so funny to buy Chucky dolls off of ebay and put them in my bed. Stuff still isn't funny lol.

Chuckys one scary dude.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

1) A lot of hoopla before the plot actually develops. It seems like they spend the first 30 minutes of the movie just driving around in a car or in a hospital. Kind of boring lol.

2) It was kinda tight though. I'm not wild about alien-esque horror movies but this one was good. It's kind of the weird part about my movie taste is that I really like all the old Unsolved Mysteries that involve UFO sightings and stuff. I even used to have a book about them but for some reason I'm not overtly wild about horror movies with Aliens. 

3) I know I've mentioned this before, but boy howdy did they smoke ciggies back in the day.  The surgeon general definitely didn't issue a warning before most of these movies.

4) How tight was it when that kid just ran away when he didn't want to go to school? School sucks. That kid rules. Also the line "maybe we should have a drink." #tellmeaboutitlol.

Pretty solid for an old movie,

B

Audition

1) I had no idea what I was in for. @warnerben recommended that I review this last year and I was aware that it was a torture movie but holy god was this OTC. The crazy part is that it doesn't go OTC till the last part of it. Had a really good detailed setup lol.

2) That vomit scene literally almost made me vomit. IMDB says she insisted that she actually vomit so it could be real. If that's true then this movie is cray.

3) Kind of a goofy plot. I mean, I understand that people have a hard time finding the right one to settle down with. But I dunno if having an audition for a girl is really all that appropriate. 

4) The tightest part about this movie was that I made it through it. If you ever watched a movie with me you'd know that me sitting through a 2 hour long foreign movie with subtitles is a herculean task. Well done buff.

My only beef is that these over the top torture/gross movies are hard to fall in love with,

C+

Top 10 Horror Villains: #6: The Devil

#6 on our countdown is THE DEVIL.

He's featured on such scary classics as Rosemary's Baby, the Exorcist, the Omen, as well as a litany of other movies. It's hard to leave him off when he's been featured in dozens of good movies over the last 50 years.

The other thing that boosts him on the countdown is how much he generally scares the hell out of me. I date this back to grade school when I used to be real into the Days of Our Lives (I know lol). There's a few episodes where Marlena gets possessed by the devil and during the part where he shows himself on tv my VHS tape that recorded it cut out. I mean, how scary is that for an 8 year old?

And although he's 'fictional' in these movies, the whole devil being real in real life gives me the willies too.

Scary stuff!

Top 10 Horror Villains: #7: Frankenstein

#7 on tha countdown is Frankenstein.

Now I know some of the fans will be let down that such a classic monster icon is pretty low on the charts. As many of you know, my movie taste isn't very good so you can't always get your hopes up too high lol.

Part of the reason he's not super high up on the list is that he's just not always super talented as a horror villain.

*Random aside, how many posts were all the fans gonna let go by before alerting me to the fact that I have been spelling the word VILLAIN wrong for the last 4 days? I should've been an English major lol*

Anywho, as I was saying, he just doesn't seem coordinated enough to be too scary. As I've ranted about before, his inability to open doors and screams that sound like a small child have put a cap on how high he can go.

Nevertheless, everyone recognizes Frankenstein, and he did spawn a litany of sequels that were wildly popular back in the day (and even today) so I have to give him countdown credit.

All Too Well- Taylor Swift

Wgbw, I know I promised no more non-Halloween reviews but I couldn't let such a moment in history pass me by.

1) I'm not giving a spoiler alert about song of the year (obvi), but I wanted to update one of the previous posts here about song of the year.

2) Maybe it's my ADD but this song is by far and away a front runner now. It's hard for me to get too tuned into the songs that I was gii on in February but I still think this one is running away with it.

3) I haven't been this gitty about lyrics in a while but I even got Bricker excited about dis (maybe not lol):

"Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I'd asked for too much, but maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it all up. Running scared i was there, i remember it all toooo wellll. you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel, in the name of being of honest"

If those weren't some of the best TSwift lyrics of all time I don't know what were. 

If I could give a better grade I would,

A++

Top 10 Horror Villians: #8: Ghostface

#8 on the countdown is the Ghostface killer from the hit movie/s Scream.

Now I know that s/he isn't technically one killer since s/he audibles from movie to movie, but the mask is pretty iconic. But the fact that s/he's not a stable character probably limits her/his potential by quite a bit. (A lot of gender neutral stuff in that paragraph).

Random aside, one time on Halloween someone was wearing this mask and just staring at people on the side of the road. That shit spooks the hell out of me when people have masks on and just don't say stuff when you talk to them. You never know who could be behind the mask lol.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

1) Not really much of a horror movie. I mean, I get that there are vampires in it and all, but it's not really spooky, especially since it's supposed to be historical (well in a fictional sense). Most of the movies are just these action shots that are overshot in slow motion. If there wasn't so much slow motion the movie would probably get over faster lol.

2) I'd go on a rant about watching these 3D movies without the 3D effect but I've barked up that tree too many times before.

3) How tight was it when Papa Doc from the hit motion picture 8 Mile popped up in it. He automatically bumps up every movie rating he's in, he's just so tight (see What's Your Number for more evidence of this).  Come to think of it, he probably just should've challenged the vampires to rap battles. I mean, it's kind of like an old school duel, but still gives an appropriate shout out to his role in 8 mile.

4) Although this movie wasn't generally reviewed well by the critics, I do fear that it could spark a wreck of spinoffs that could be horrible. Imagine 'William Taft: Bathtub Layer'. The possibilities to Linc (link get it?) presidents to horror icons makes me nervous about the future of these movies.

C-

Top 10 Horror Villians: #9: Leatherface

WGBW, number 9 is Leatherface from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

Although I never thought this movie was super good, he makes the countdown for historical reasons. Obvi most everyone knows about this movie, and the chainsaw killer spawned a litany of knockoff movies and scenes that were probably drawn from the movie.

Although I kind of highlighted his limitations in my earlier review, he's still pretty scary with that chainsaw. I know a bunch of haunted houses have crazy looking people run around with chainsaws to scare all the people waiting to get in. That sure would work on me /o\

Top 10 Horror Villians: #10: Pennywise

#10 of the countdown is that scary ass clown from the movie IT.

I've actually never reviewed this movie because it's been like a decade since I've seen it (I used to own it on VHS lol) and I'm literally afraid of watching it again. I mean, the clown goes after a bunch of little kids at the beginning of the movie.

I know a lot of people that have a fear of clowns and if you're one of those people never go see this movie.  Even the photo of him is scary.

And what's up with the name Pennywise? That's some creepy stuff too.

Top 10 Horror Villains

Wgbw, I've decided the countdown for this year will be the top 10 horror villains of all time.

I can't provide any objective way that I'm really going to rank them but I should provide a few disclaimers:

1) They probably won't be ranked solely based on cultural impact. Obvi that will determine their ranking but the countdown won't focus on it entirely.

2) As a follow up to that, you can imagine that the characters won't be ranked based on how good they were on rotten tomatoes so don't get your hopes up Jon. 

3) How scary they were to little (or older) Buffalo will probably be a pretty big factor. Some of these characters have scared me for the better part of my youth so you can count on them making the countdown.

Anywho, I'll start off with #10 later tonight, I love you all

-buff

Sleepaway Camp 2

1) It was actually light years ahead of the original Sleepaway Camp. This one took the same path as the old one where they just try and focus on how crazy all the deaths could be. Only this time she didn't manage to TKO people in as many goofy ways. Obvi the toilet bowl kill was goofy and so was the guitar string but at least it's an improvement from that awful first one. 

2) The horror movies with the comedic side to them are always hit or miss. This one was okay even though this is obvi not intended to be scary. I think it's just trying to shock everyone with how crazy the kills are.

3) There was some tight connections to other horror movies going on. Obvi the references to the Friday the 13th and the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. There's also a guy named JUDD in it which is tight.

4) Overall the whole lack of getting spooked still puts a ceiling on dis one. It's just hard to imagine some 100 pound 18 year old being able to just wreck havoc on an entire camp. Who knows though.

C-

Taylor Swift- Red Review

First as random aside- was I the only one to get this early? I preordered it off Amazon and it got here 2 days early. I feel bad for all of those teenagers that have to wait till Monday lol. Anywho, here are my initial thoughts after tuning into this for 24 hours (this will be the only detour from horror movies the rest of October too lol).

1) Overall super solid. It's hard to say where it ranks amongst her previous 3 albums but it's obvi top notch.

2) It has a pretty solid mix of super pop songs with her usual sad, slow breakup songs. I'm not crazy about her 2 duets that are on the album but I get that she might like Snow Patrol in real life.

3) Omitting the previously released singles she had off of the album, it's pretty obvi that she'll release '22', Starlight, and Stay Stay Stay. 22 is pretty catchy, but I'm not too wild about the other 2.

4) It's kind of an odd thing about my music taste (well besides that it's usually not very good lol), but I really dig sad slow breakup songs when I'm not going through some breakup. I dunno why I dig them when I'm in a good place in my life but I do. This has probably been one of the tightest months of my life, so I'm really tuning into 'All Too Well' and 'I Almost Do'. The lyrics on them are really good and they're obvi super slow and sad LOL.

Obvi you know this would get a good grade,

A

Near Dark

1) Really kind of an odd vampire movie. I'm not sure they ever mention the word vampires and except for the sun, they don't really show any anti-vampire techniques being rampantly used.

2) Vampire movies always give me the willies. I have a thing about the back of my ankles, my wrists, and my neck that freak me out when people touch me there. When she just bites him at the beginning of the movie I almost jumped out of my bed lol. And then the rest of the movie he just sucks on her wrist. Super creepy.

3) It's really tight when that driver goes missing. The guy is confused why the driver went to Kansas while he shoulda been in Waco, Texas. For anyone that's ever been to Waco, there's no mystery why you'd rather be in Kansas. I guess if you wanna get shit on by birds and cage an animal on your campus I understand. Kind of tight that the final showdown takes place in Kansas too.

4) Maybe it's just the Oklahoma/Texas crowd, but why on earth don't more people just GTFO when they see the vampires? It's like they're chilling at a bar and then vampires start biting people and everyone just stays chilling. I've only been at tha bar a few times when a fight broke out and generally it scared the hell out of me. I dunno why they're sticking around for the whole thing.

5) Pretty tight there's a little RomCom to it too with that dude and chick.

Good stuff,

A-

Top 10 Countdown 2012

WGBW, still have a movie review coming for later tonight. But just thought I'd let you all know that I've narrowed down the top 10 countdown lists this year to two choices.

Either

1) The top 10 decades of scary movies (care of @buns0n).

or

2) Buff's top 10 best Halloweens (care of @thewholemilk).

Both of these are solid choices and I'm down for either. The countdown has to start the 22nd, and I'll have to put in some thought on either of the lists. I know some of the jitsu fans who don't know me personally will probably get confused by the second countdown, but I also know those of you who tune in on the reg are already probably bored of my scary movie reviews.

Anywho, let me know \o/

-buff

Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives

WGBW, got a special post for you tonight. I'm re-reviewing the movie that was the blog's first ever post: Friday the 13th Part 6. Obvi my blogging skills are light years ahead of where they were then (lol) but for how good this movie is I never truly gave it the credit it deserved.

1) The biggest historical role for this movie was that it saved the Friday the 13th franchise from that really mediocre Friday the 13th Part 5 movie. Not that I was tuning into these movies at the time, but if I was I would've been so reluctant to go see this in the theaters after the part 5 movie. This movie is just literally running laps around the previous one.

2) I'd echo all of my sentiment from my post from 2 years ago. They rep that it's on Friday the 13th, Jason does do a pretty consistent job of going to town, and I still have a crush on the girl in this movie. I probably didn't rep that last point enough during my first review: it's really tight that this movie has a somewhat romcom flavor to it. How tight it must be for that Tommy guy. I mean, you get terrorized by Jason, locked up for the latter part of a decade, and then get thrown into jail only to be saved by the really good looking daughter of the sheriff. I know I think my life is tuning up but Tommy is probably one upping me.

3) This is the only Friday the 13th movie with no nudity, so if you're looking for some (sort of) clean family fun here it is.

4) Even the ending is tight. Given that it's the 6th movie of the series it's not ground breaking that there will be another sequel but I'm glad they didn't pretend to finish him off for good.

A

Godzilla, King of the Monsters!

1) I'm kinda confused how they are not totally sure of who wrecked all the havoc in the first place. I mean, didn't people see this gigantic monster running around this huge city? I get they couldn't tweet what was going on at the time to alert the others, but really this doesn't seem to be that hard to figure out. He's not bigfoot.

2) I dunno what's going on with these older classic movies. But it seems like no monster/villain ever just pops out of nowhere. In The Mummy, The Invisible Man, and Frankenstein all involve these scientists that are just curiously creating these supermonsters to wreck havoc on the world. At least in this one the guy has made an oxygen destroyer instead of just creating the monster himself.

3) And what a crazy thing to just start investigating in. I mean, who sits around and just decides to develop some formula that sucks the oxygen up out of you? Did he get a license from the government for this? Seems like some risky experimenting.

4) It's hard to be too scared of this at the end of the day. Living in Kansas kind of insulates me from having to fear oceanesque creatures that could make it rain on small town KS. Then again, I did get nervous that the guy jumping out of space the other day might just land through the Cone. Never say never.

C-

The Butterfly Effect

WGBW, sorry for the delays. I promise no more days off on the blog. I know October's half way over and I promise not to disappoint anymore ;)

1) I should cover some jurisdictional issues up front. I know this isn't a horror movie per se, but it spooked me out quite a bit so I think it's worthy of inclusion here.

2) It's a really solid movie. Maybe it personally resonates with me or something, but it's always crazy to me how the butterfly effect operates in the real world. It's like, what if I never saw the original Halloween and never got a thing for horror movies? What if I trusted my instincts and never let the long-haired Bricker first hang out with me? What if I stayed in and never met that one* girl at the bar?  It's really wild stuff when you step back and think about how some chance encounter can affect your life lol.

3) Besides that this movie mixes the right bit of creepiness with optimism. I mean, the whole creepy dad/ Amy Smart falling off the cliff / kids leg getting blown off stuff is all pretty intense. But AK always gives you some hope that he could just go back and fix things.

4) I guess the movie ending is kind of bad. It reminded me of The Breakup when they just pass each other in the street and never know what could've been. Bunz always said no regrets, so it's hard for me to get on board with this idea that people should travel back in time to avoid making mistakes that they could fix in hindsight. Just gives you some deep stuff to think about.

B+

The Invisible Man (1933)

1) Obvi reminds me of the underrated movie Hollow Man. Only this ones some 60 years earlier lol.

2) If this really happened it would obviously be one of the scariest things that has ever happened. Where would you hide from this guy? My first thought was just to go hang out in your car and feel around until you made sure it was clear and then get the hell out of town. But what if he's just hanging on to the top of your car or something? Really no where to run. 

3) For all the perks of being invisible, the guy does have some good talking points about the drawbacks of it. Walking down the stairs would  be hard as hell since you can't look at your feet. I'm sure kickboxing, dancing, and a variety of other habits would have to go out the door as well.


4) The ending was a little ho-hum. I'm always for the horror movies that leave at least a little bit of a cliff hanger. It's too bad that they just showed him ultimately getting TKO'd and returning to normal. Doesn't really leave much room for a sequel.

B-

Creature from the Black Lagoon

1) This would give me the willies even if there wasn't a giant creature that was hanging out in the Amazon. When I was in Vegas, Leslie dragged me to this aqarium thing where all the sharks and stuff were swimming around in the walls and stuff. Scared the hell out of me. This whole movie is them just hanging out around all these creepy fishes and what not. Scary enough for me.

2) That being said, there's a pretty simple solution to this whole mess. If you quit dicking around by the water you really wouldn't have a problem with this thing. When he's on land he moves at less than a mile an hour and sticks out his gigantic claws so you could see him coming from a mile away. Why they keep investigating while everyone keeps getting TKO'd kind of befuddles me.

3) I mean these people keep dying and they hypothesize that the Creature might just be a 'mosquito that they can shoe away'? HELLO MCFLY.

4) For you Dawson's Creek fans out there, you'll remember that this movie got repped a lot in the Pilot episode lol.

Meh,

D+

Damien: Omen 2

1) Actually a pretty solid movie in the context of sequels. To be fair most of the initial sequels to the biggest horror movies have been good (see Halloween 2, Friday the 13th Part 2, and Nightmare on Elm Street 2), but this one was good too.

2)  I should preface that by saying that I've never seen any other sequel to the original Omen, so it's totally possible that all of the other ones rule too but I'm pessimistic.

3) It gets pretty redundant when all of the people keep dying the same way.  It makes sense that Damien can just make them die off. But how does he have this crow with superpowers that follows him around and TKO's anyone who's suspicious of him? Seems like it's kind of cheating.

4) And how doesn't he notice the giant 666 on the top of his head? I mean, the kids 13 and has probably gotten at least 100 haircuts. Wouldn't the school nurse have checked it for lice at some point and been like: "Holy God, he has the sign of the antichrist engraved on his head, I should think about alerting the local priest."

Nothing compared to the original but still pretty good,

B

The Mummy (1932)

1) Trying to gii with some of the classic movies that I've never seen before. Most of these aren't too bad because even though they're in black and white and what not, they are only like an hour long which is right up my alley.

2) It's kinda wild that the mummy guy doesn't even look like a mummy for a wreck of the movie. I dressed up like a mummy a few years ago (which was dumb- toilet paper doesn't stay wrapped around you for very long lol) but I never actually knew how little time that guy actually rocked the outfit in the movie.

3) Seems like I've been watching a bunch of movies lately that involve someone reading some scroll or poem that just ends up wrecking havoc on everyone. It's always one of those situations where everyone wants to read it because they don't think anything could go wrong but then it does. Reason 3234378 not to read any ancient history books in some other language.

4) It was really tight when they first woke the mummy up. That one guy goes crazy and then just laughs about how the mummy is going on a walk. It's pretty tight the Mummy is on #teamwalk.

C+

Halloween Night

1) Alright blog world, this is hopefully the last really mediocre movie I review this month. I know I have a checkered past but I'm really trying to get better after this lol.

2) I thought this would be okay because it seemed to kind of parallel the original Halloween movie: the guy gets out of an asylum and comes and wrecks havoc on Halloween night. Sounds good but this one went straight to DVD for a reason.

3) Almost every death in the movie happened the exact same way. This guy pops up at the party and everybody thinks he's just horsing around since he's wearing a mask so they just joke with him until he KO's them. I mean, using that once or twice was okay but it was almost the entire movie.

4) And how ridiculous was the end? A guy who looks like bigfoot is walking down an empty interstate wearing only a priest-robe with a paper plate tied onto his head with an upside down smiley face on it and this guy just decides to give him a ride?

Go back and re-read that last sentence. It was as ridiculous to type as the ending of the movie was lol.

D

Evil Dead 2

1) So this has a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and I've seen it 3 times and just still can't really tune in. The first Evil Dead was also just making it rain on RT but I must be out to lunch or something.

2) I think part of my beef with it is that I'm not too gung-ho about comedic horror movies. And I'm not in love with super super gory movies. I get that in 1987 this was pretty wild but now I'm not really tuning in.

3) I know I'm not a history major either. But why on Earth did he get sucked back to never-ever land at the end of the movie? I mean, I guess the whole point of the movie is to be comedic and what not but why pick such a ridiculous ending? If someone asked me to explain the resolution of this movie I'd be at a loss for words.

4) I think I'm also griping because I obvi enjoy short horror movies that take just a min to get to the plot before quickly getting to the point. This movie jumped into the deep end right off the bat and then just stayed there doggy-paddling around for over an hour. Then the ending just literally sucked the guy up into a drain or something.

Befuddled,

D+

The Eye (2008)

1) Not a great way to start off October lol. I know this is a remake of the Japanese movie, but I guess I thought it'd be a good idea because I can't remember of another horror movie with an eye transfer involved lol.

2) Really not much to say about it. The whole movie isn't really scary at all. It kind of reminded me of The Ward. That girl just sees a bunch of shenanigans that may or may not be real. Only this time the whole point of her getting her eye sight back was to warn of that impending explosion or something. To be honest  EYE don't really know, I didn't keep my EYE on the screen too much after about an hour in (lol).

3) I heard Jessica Alba won a Razzie for this. I'm not really a good judge of what is or isn't good acting (obvi). But all the parts where she was 'playing' the violin it wasn't matching up at all with sound.

4) It's kinda hard to get too excited about this too because I'm unclear if it's actually a horror movie. To me a horror movie kind of has to scare you after you quit watching. Like Chucky is even scary because he could come after you. But here, I'm unsure what was supposed to spook you and how it's even scary given the ending.

5) At least it had a reference to Nightmare on Elm Street when she wakes up and her arm is all messed up. Otherwise maybe don't tune.

D+

Happy October!

Wgbw, happy October. Today is the second greatest day of the year and I'm excited \o/

I've got a movie post for later tonight (obvi it's October) but wanted to let all the fans know what direction I'll be moving in this year.

There's a bunch of classic horror movies that I'm gonna get on here, as well as a bunch of the horror cult classics (that I never seem to enjoy lol) along with some sequels that I've been neglecting.

@warnerben had the tight idea of tuning back into some sort of countdown. Those always go over well but I need to brainstorm for an idea of what to countdown. I thought about doing my top 10 favorite horror movies but I'm afraid the blog may have already given that away.

The one change I think I'll be making from years past is that I'm going to re-review some of the more solid Halloween movies that I tune into year round. Not that I didn't review them great the first time around, but looking back on the early days of the blog I'm sure I can make these posts a lot better. This will happen towards the latter part of October.

As always, if the fans have any suggestions for something for me to review (outside of reviewing the Dirty Projectors concert lol) I'm all on board.

Stay tuned!

Sleeping with the tv off - a case study

 Wgbw, I know I just promised to try and stay away from the self-reflective posts, but this is sort of related since I often fall asleep to scary movies so bear with me.

I've chronicled my journey with sleeping with the tv on and off and thought I'd keep you posted about it. 

9/17/12: I've determined I might have to start sleeping with the tv off. 

To those of you know me, this is unbelievable. For years I have slept with the TV on. The whole reason the couchbread is so popular is because of the gigantic TV in front of it.  It used to be a deal breaker with girls. It was never anything personal, but if you couldn't sleep with the tv on I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Even the whole 'let's put the sleep timer' thing never made much sense to me.

I mostly trace this back to my childhood. I grew up sleeping with the tv on. Whenever I went to stay at someone's house I could never sleep. Now, being 26 years old, I still can't sleep with the tv off when I'm not in my own bread.

Lately though it's been giving me problems. For the last 4 months I've been waking up every 3-4 hours, checking the clock, and then immediately falling back asleep. Part of the reason I can fall back asleep so easily is that I've seen every episode of the hit tv show Friends 2539 times so when I wake up and it's on the TV I don't tune in too much. I didn't read too much into at first, but then it was a nightly ritual. After doing some research I found out that it can screw with your blood pressure, your ability to make sound life choices, and can cause over the top nightmares. Now I've never believed in the whole 'sleeping with the tv on leads to depression' argument because I'm generally happier when I wake up and the TV is on and more depressed when I realized someone has shut it off.  But the rest of this kind of spooked me. I've had high blood pressure off and on, make poor decisions (well rarely), and have creepy nightmares on the reg.

After realizing that I'm probably the only person I know who has (or even wants) to sleep with the TV on, I've decided I'm going to start shutting it off when I get drowsy. We'll see how this goes.

9/24/12: What a dumb idea that was

Well, after a day or two of that experiment, I've determined that I'm never shutting off the TV again. Ever.

After an hour of being restless I'd eventually fall asleep but then wake up every 3 hours. And when I woke up I'd just lay there confused, wondering why the TV was off.  "Did the power go out? Did Bricker sneak in here to play a cruel prank on me? Am I not at the Cone?"

I've also figured out that there could be other culprits. My mattress pad is old, my beds not pushed up against the wall anymore, and it's no longer summer (story for another post).

Now of course I'll have to figure out the other problems associated with sleeping with the TV on at a later date (i.e. settling down with someone, our energy bill, etc.), but for now I think I'll keep tuning in.