Leprechaun: Origins

TRICK R TREAT TWEET WORLD. Tha second best day of tha year so gonna gii on tha blog.

1) This movie wasn't very good. Well neither was tha first one. Or tha second one. So I guess maybe this wasn't a huge surprise lol. I think my hope was that it would be like the new Chucky movie that was supposed to return to its much scarier original roots.

2) It did have like a few (or one) scary scenes. Like that part at the beginning when they're running through tha field and tha guy who you originally mistake for a leprechaun is just staring at them. I always used to tell @buns0n how it creeped me out when strangers were just standing around staring at you spookily (sp?).

3) Unfortunately, it quickly delved into a much worse version of Jeepers Creepers. I mean, some mysterious thing is running amok when all of a sudden you realize it's just some deformed animal thing that has really poor vision. And without all tha crazy town people it wouldn't even have a chance of TKOing anyone.  

4) Even tha half-mangled attempts at linking tha movie to a leprechaun suck. So there's gold and they are in Ireland? SMH.

The scariest part about this movie is that it is selling for 35 dollars on Amazon lol.

HAPPY OCTOBER

C

The Call

1) For how goofy the movie poster for this one is, it was pretty okay. I mean, what's going on with the all red poster? And I'll bet a lot of 911 calls are personal LOL.

2) For how solid of a 911 operator she is, you think she'd be trained not to go out and do maverick detective work. All the police in Los Angeles and someone who sits behind a desk all day manages to figure out where this killer guy is hiding?

3) And really she's got better odds of winning the lottery then randomly getting this guy's new victim to call in again. I mean, a 911 operator takes a phone call in LOS ANGELES. Then, it freaks her out so much that she goes on admin duty for awhile. THEN she's doing a random training one day and manages to get the hear a caller who is getting stalked by the same killer. What are the odds of that? (As a side note, I've been calling into a lot of radio contests lately and never manage to be the 95th caller. Maybe I'm just in the bitter barn lol.)

4) And what was going on with the ending? They finally track this guy down and then just leave him in this underground home he has? I don't think they even really injure him. They just tie him down in his own little unfinished basement and leave. What justice smh.

All that and the movie was still pretty original and kept my attention.

C

This is 40

1) I kinda knew this movie would be sort of like Friends With Kids.  It's kinda slow and there's a bunch of parts of it where everyone is just sad and depressed about their life.

2) All in all it was still kinda tight at the beginning with all of the inappropriate humor and stuff. And them repping Megan Fox was pretty tight. Was kinda hoping that Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl woulda made an appearance. It's kinda odd that a whole bunch of the plot focuses on her dad being AWOL but her bff sister is nowhere to be found.

3) Loved the shout out mentioning Ross, from the hit tv show Friends. And did anyone catch the reference to Tom Selleck?

4) At tha end of tha day, it's hard to think this was really good. The first hour was tight but then the last hour was just everyone fighting, complaining, and being sad. I mean, they ended the movie just promising to be like they used to be, which begs the question that they weren't happy at the beginning of the movie either.

C

Argo

1) Eh it was okay. Maybe if I was a history professor or something this would have more of an impact on me, but I bet you could just watch a documentary about this and it would be about the same. There was nothing really wrong with this movie, but you know they manage to get home in the end, so there's not really super drama going on.

2) It's also hard for me to picture Ben Affleck in any other role than the one he had in Chasing Amy (which btw I reviewed that movie exactly 2 years ago today lol). Now that movie was really tight.

3) Had a pretty tight cameo when Joshua from the hit TV show Friends made an appearance. He obvi looks a little older given that it's been 16 years since his appearance as Rachel's boyfriend.
They also said "WHEELS UP" in it. That bumped it up a half grade (obvi).

4) At the end of the day I'm just not sure anything really set this movie apart. I mean, it's a good story, had good acting, but nothing made me think "omg this has to be one of the best movies of the year."

C

My Best Friend's Girl

1) It was better than I remembered. I'm not wild about Dane Cook, have a hit or miss relationship with Kate Hudson, and think Jason Biggs is pretty tight. But overall it was okay.

2) Part of my beef is I don't think Dane Cook is as good as other actors who try to pull off a bunch of raunchy one liners. My idol Joe Rogan has accused DC of stealing lines from other comedians so I think I generally am skeptical of him.

3) Also, the story is kinda unbelievable because Kate Hudson is light years outta Jason Biggs's league in this movie. Don't get me wrong, she's generally out of everyone's league, but here I don't think anyone was ever under the impression that the two of them were gonna work out.

4) The ending was kinda goofy too. I wasn't watching the movie under a microscope or anything, but did he really just run 26 miles with her to show her how much he loved her? If he was that winded so early into the run, I'm actually kinda surprised he didn't go into cardiac arrest or something.

C

New Year's Eve

1) It's weird I coulda swore I already reviewed the movie Valentine's Day, but this is like the less than great sequel to it. NYE is almost always overrated and this movie was kind of in never ever land. I'm obvi not wild about NY (except for Ronnie lol), so I don't really know how things go down there, but it seems pretty dumb to go all nutzo over a ball dropping.

2) Ashton Kutcher's character is real tight. I think I share his contempt for most of the holidays so it was tight when he just ripped down all of those holiday decorations lol.

3) The cast was all pretty cray. I'm not wild about Sarah Jessica Parker playing mom in all these new movies. But how tight was it when Jon Bon Jovi was a main character? He should make it rain in more movies.

4) It wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. All the sub plots were pretty good and they didn't make the audience connect too many dots figuring out how everyone was connected to everyone else. 

5) The ending was pretty goofy. I don't know why a narrator just pops in talking about hope smh.

C

Ted

Wgbw, I'm sorry that the great month of October is over but I'll try to keep the blog going on a little more consistent of schedule. Anywho,

1) I actually saw this last Summer so some of my recollection of it might be skewed. I remember it being pretty funny but it's kinda goofy too. I mean, the movie's about a teddy bear that is actually alive. Outside of horror movies I'm not too gungho about make-believe movies.

2) That being said it was funny. They had a good mix of new inappropriate humor and fwiw the bear was pretty tight. The ending just kept dragging on and on with that stupid kidnapping scene. This movie will get you stir crazy by the end.

3) It's always hard for me to imagine Mark Wahlberg in these movies that aren't just based on him being a boxer or a psychotic stalker. I'm not sure this is really his cup of tea.

4) I might have a poor taste about this movie too because for some reason we were late to the movie and ended up having to sit in like the 3rd row of the theater. I'm only like 5'7" (optimistically) so throughout a lot of the movie I was pretty uncomfortable.

C

The Haunting (1999)

Sorry bw, I was going to post this much earlier in tha week but I passed tha bar(!!) and am just getting around to it now.

1) It took me a while to sit through it, but it was actually one of those movies that got better the more I powered through it. Liam Neeson tricks these people with sleeping problems to come stay over a this creepy place to see if they can eventually just believe that the place is super scary.

2) Then it got kind of goofy. One of the chicks realizes she is the daughter of one of the wives of the dudes who killed all of these kids so that they could stay in tha house for eternity with him.  So she decides that she just wants to never leave the place so she can reconnect with these people or something.

3) Little kids always spook me out so I guess that part was pretty freaky. And when the chick sees the person hang themselves it was scary. I think it kind of reminded me of that creepy ass scene in The Omen when the babysitter decides to jump off tha house in front of all of those kids.

4) It had a pretty star studded cast. CZJ, Liam Neeson and Owen Wilson all had much larger roles in some more popular movies. Surprised they all got together for this one.

C

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

Watching scary movies everyday is really running laps around reading about torts lol.

1) A pretty solid sequel. A lot of times, the sequel to a horror movie (or subsequent movies after that) can really blow. Fortunately, this one was okay. Actually having looked at my review of the first movie, I'd have to say that I actually probably underestimated it quite a bit.

2) The solid cast made it pretty tight too. The brother from Eastbound & Down is on it, as well as Mekhi Phifer from the critically acclaimed movie 8 Mile.

3) I guess if a killer tried to get me on the Fourth of July each year, I'd be a little more skeptical of taking a free trip some stranger on the radio gave to me. Seems like some poor planning on their part.

4) Actually speaking of which the title is kind of misleading, because it's actually 2 summers after the first movie. I dunno if the fisherman was just busy or something in the interim period but it should be called 'i still know what you did the summer before last' lol.

Nothing too wild,

C

Mother's Day (2010)

1) I meant to review this on the actual Mother's Day but I was being too good of a son to remember lol.

2) Eh. I'm not sure this was as sick as of a torture porn movie as the original Last House on the Left but still seemed to have the same kind of M.O. Only here it's just some yahoos that go back to their moms house after a failed bank robbery and realize that other people have taken over the house after its been foreclosed.

3) I don't understand why the bad guys have to up the ante so much after they get back to the house. I mean, I know these people might have stolen your mom's money/house and know that you robbed someone, but why play all the Sawesque tricks on everyone?

4) The other problem with this movie's generic plot is that it adds way too many story lines to keep track of. There's like 14 people in the basement, more victims outside the house, the mom, and all those misfit sons. My ADD makes it hard enough to keep up with all these other movies- this one was (almost) too much.

Nothing wild about this one,

C

The Vow

Whats good blog world. I'm really sorry for the extended delay. The whole last semester of finals in law school and job thing was really busy smh lol.

1) This was pretty mediocre. I'm all about the romance movies, but they just screw this up. I never understood why they make a movie that they bill as one of the all time great love stories and then dont have them fall back in love at the end of the movie. I mean, I get it- they agree to go on a date or something but besides that it's like why don't we just go the whole 9 yards and have them fall in love again?

2) Some of the movie had some stupid parts too. The girls best friend sleeps with her dad? And the girl's old dick finance is the guy from The Strangers? Come on now.

3) It still had some good cheesy parts that I obvi enjoy. Like the line where he says that she fell in love with him once and he'll get her to do it again. Good stuff.

With Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams it's hard to go too far off course,

C

Funny Games

1) I saw this movie back in tha day with @Angelo when I was in the horrible state of Kentucky. I sort of like revisiting movies several after the fact to see if I've matured at all lol (see Vacancy).

2) It was better than I remembered, but still just sadistic as shit. I mean, they really just shot that little kid, how messed up is that? I'm not too gung ho about all the movies that have these screwed up endings.

3) I didn't really get all the stupid shenanigans in the movie. Like where he keeps talking to the camera, or rewinds the fucking movie after that guy gets TKO'd. I dunno, maybe it's some movie stuff I don't understand lol. Someone should explain what the purpose of them calling each other different names was, that didn't make much sense either.

4) I never put 2 and 2 together to figure out that the smart psycho guy is one of the main character off of Boardwalk Empire. I need to think outside the box more lol.

All that being said it was pretty original (minus the fact that it was an exact remake of the foreign version lol),

C

No One Would Tell

1) Dj tanner from full house and fred savage – how could this movie get any better? Although I dunno why he’s always playing creepy roles now. He played this serial rapist in L & O SVU a few years back and now this.

2) I do have a thing for some lifetime movies- this fit the bill pretty good, but I kind of wish some of them were more uplifting. Reminded me of a less tight version of Fear but without the vigilante justice at the end. Lifetime movies are always pretty good about the life lessons.

3) I was also a fan of all the wrestling scenes at the beginning, but whoever the wrestling trainer for the actors in the movie was pretty bad, it was just the same 2 moves over and over again lol.

4) LOL @ Sally Jesse Raphael being the judge. However, it was very lifetimesque of her to give that speech at the end preaching against domestic violence. Clutch public service announcement.

Still not a fan of all the DV scenes,

C

Valentine

1) The first like 20 minutes of this movie was really good. It's like it sets up some revengeful guy, Katherine Heigl was hanging out, just generally good stuff all around.

2) The ending was pretty creative too; you'd never guess that the alcoholic could pull off all those crazy kills and the nose bleed thing was a pretty good signature move.

3) It doesn't make too much sense why he holds a grudge for so long. I mean, it's just some girls that didn't want to dance with you in junior high- it's not really the end of the world. You think he'd be more mad at the dudes that jumped him at least.

4) Way too much of the movie was focused on these chicks relationship troubles. I get that the movie is called Valentine, but even then none of it was really relevant to the movie.

Mediocre holiday movie,

C

30 Minutes or Less

1) Eh. It was pretty mediocre. Although it was only an hour and 23 minutes it didn't have anything really super tight go down in it.

2) It was funny I guess. I'm a big fan of inappropriate humor and this movie had plenty of it. I obvi also love Kenny Powers so it's hard for a movie to go south that has him in it (except for that awful Up in the Air).

3) Part of thing that drives me up the wall with these kind of movies is that they always have to go over the top and then over it some more. It's not enough that the plot is super ridiculous but then the ending gets even stupider. I mean, they had a flamethrower, a bomb, and a giant fuel tank? And all the stupid twists involving who was going to get who? I get that the movie is supposed to be ridiculous, but this was too much.

4) The part where they are watching one of the Friday the 13th movies was pretty cool. What happens is a little too R-rated for me to write about on the blog but it was pretty funny lol.

5) Maybe it was also mediocre because everytime I see that one guy all I can think of is that jitsu movie the social network lol.

I guess it was still funny,

C

11/11/11

1) SMH. I was really looking forward to watching (what I thought was) this movie. This popped up on the netflix instant thing and it turned out its actually this knock off movie. The original one is about a guy who goes to Europe and keeps seeing the number 11. This one is just titled 11/11/11 instead of 11-11-11. smh.

2) This movie is actually like a junior varsity version of The Omen. I mean it's almost identical except for the 6/6/6 thing. They have a crazy evil nurse/housekeeper who tries to get the kid to realize his devil potential, the kid doesn't speak the whole time, and the mom accidentally gets pregnant even though she didn't mean to. I mean I guess the one difference is that he actually follows through and kills the son at the end.

3) The only problem is there are just these goofy plot additions. I mean, what was up with the scene where the 5 professors are sitting around in the smoke filled car talking about their evil plan? And why does this crazy cat lady keep bringing the kid the lemonade? And how do those bees just come up in that police car and attack that guy?

4) I can't stand all the people cutting themselves either. People just touching my wrists in general give me the willies but that stuff is just way over the top.

C

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

1) Had a spooky beginning. The movies where the little girls get haunted by shenanigans that ultimately turn out true are always scary (see The Amityville Horror or Insidious).

2) The stupid part of the movie was when the little creatures come out. I mean, it's not like there's some madman in the basement, or some ghost that has haunted this place. It's just like these little miniature rabbits that pop out and talk to her. And was the ringleader of critters really named Lord Blackwood?

3) This really is a lesson to sleep with the TV on. Whenever I get creeped out that there's some noise in the house somewhere I just turn up the TV. That would totally solve the whole problem with the little critters whispering to her at night.

4) Kind of reminds me of the evil toys in Toy Story 3. They come out at night, are super evil, and that're out to get anyone that comes close to their territory. Maybe that'll explain this movie's rating lol.

C

Straw Dogs (2011)

Wgbw, quick entry before a big saturday night lol

1) It had a good setup. Guy and chick move back to her hometown so they can build this house and he can get some quiet time to work. I don't really get why you're gonna move to a football town that's not in Texas, but whatever.

2) It was kind of fucked up too. I don't like rape scenes in movies and this one wasn't any different.

3) The end seemed a lot like the tight movie Fear. At the end they are just stuck trying to keep this ex-boyfriend and a group of his friends out of the house. They even kill the pet before going in. Seemed like an identical ending almost. The only difference is in this one the guys head gets trapped in a bear trap. Pretty jitsu.

4) I think the whole point of the movie is that a strong police/judicial system is important to preventing rural southern communities from going bonanza on each other lol.

C

Wind Chill

1) The movie was pretty tight for the first like 45 minutes of it. These 2 college kids carpool back home and get stuck in the middle of nowhere during the trip. Good plot stuff.

2) I'm unsure why he took the scenic detour. If this chick next to you in the car just complaining the whole time it doesn't make much sense to prolong the trip with her by cutting through the boonies. Maybe it's just because I'm not fond of long car rides but I would've told her she could hitchhike if she kept complaining that much.

3) I don't really get the whole ghost thing. It's like some people died in that same location a long time ago so they just keep coming back? This seemed like a bad episode of that old Nickelodeon show Are You Afraid of the Dark.

Pretty ho hum,

C

Pulse

1) Why is it so dark the whole time? It's like it's in black and white or something. It's really hard to keep watching the movie when everyone is just running around with the lights off the whole time.

2) I still don't really get it. The dude gets like sucked in by these internet forces and somehow commits suicide? And why do they keep goofing around on the guys computer after he's dead?

3) I think they need to quit trying to remake these Japanese movies. I'll bet the original one was light years ahead of this one.

4) This really reminded me of that stupid movie Mirrors. It doesn't make any sense why there's these goblins that try to suck you into the computer because you were in their way kind of like how in mirrors it didn't make sense why the people in the mirrors wanted to get you.

Uhhhhh

C