Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Why Tony Lives: Silencing the Haters Once and For All


This is a shortened post. I originally tried to make AT's every possible reason Tony died, but I figured that will be a post for another day. After looking all over the internet I realize there are a thousand different conspiracy theories as to why Tony dies. I won't address all of them because some of them are so far fetched it's unreal.

Anywho, here's the top few reasons why he doesn't die, and some answers to the dumb 'he died' args.

1) We've always been privy to hits on Tony. Why not now?

David Chase has been SHH at fans too focused on the finale. The above article says Chase didn't analyze all of those goofy little connections that make people think he died. Hell, the guy that interviewed Chase when writing the book doesn't even think Tony dies.  His argument is that we were always privy to everything going on in the show. The audience knew when people wanted hits on Tony; we knew that Patsy was drunk about to take out Tony in his backyard; we were privy to every conversation in which another boss wanted Tony out; Junior's conversation about going downtown. Why would Chase leave the audience out of the loop in this one? Certainly we would have heard if someone made an order to take out Tony. We've seen it EVERY OTHER TIME. Why would they veer off the path now?

2) The cast thinks he lives.

Not my best arg, but try to find a cast member who think he dies. David Chase won't close the door on a movie. If Tony's dead how could they possibly make a movie? Bobby thinks so too. Tony was all riled up that they just killed him off but then he too realized that didn't actually happen.

3) No motive.

There's a truce! Phil's dead and everyone has agreed not to make any more moves. Who would have a motive to take Tony out at this point? If Tony feels comfortable enough to let his family out is there really a danger to him?

4) WHO KILLS TONY?

For all you haters out there who think Tony dies, riddle me this: who figures out where Tony is? I can already predict the response to this: "someone with some allegiance to Phil." It's just a boogeyman theory. No one knows anyone specific, but everyone is damn sure that somebody did it. If I'm wrong someone should just reply with the person's name. I'll retract the entire post if someone can answer that question without a qualifier.

5) Logistically no one can get him. 

That Butch guy spends the entire episode getting lost in China town. All of a sudden he can navigate to the new restaurant Tony's family is trying out? They can't even get close to him for two eps, gets lost in Chinatown, but then they can remarkably track him down at the restaurant?

And how is he supposed to find this diner within 6 minutes of Tony's arrival? Not only does this mystery man track Tony down. But executes him and waits on his entire family to get there. Obvi he's interested in making Tony apprehensive the whole time by walking around the restaurant, and really wants his whole family to witness the whole ordeal. SMH.

During the entire show, Tony always asks people if they are being followed? He's irate about this the entire show. If all of you haters really think that there has never been a bigger threat on Tony's life then why would he dilly-dally around and not notice someone following him? IT'S LITERALLY THE ONLY THING ON HIS MIND DURING THE LAST EP. Someone tell me how he'd forget about this when there's supposedly a big target on his back.

6) Journey wouldn't sign off on them using DONT STOP BELIEVING until he knew that Tony wouldn't get wacked. What's your answer to that haters?

1) A2 "But it turns black at the end!"

Yeah, like it would really be that simple. Here's what I don't get about all you naysayers: on one hand you argue that the screen turned black so it's obvi he's dead. I mean, what a simple explanation. On the other hand, you have all these theories about tigers, the color orange, abe lincoln, and the last supper as esoteric (how's that for vocab lol) clues that also explain it. I mean, pick which one.

Also, David Chase disagrees with you lol. "There was nothing definite about what happened." Here's more ev that focusing on tha final scene leads to misinterpretation. "(Chase insists that what you saw (and didn't see) is what you get. "There are no esoteric clues in there. No `Da Vinci Code,'")"

2) "BUT BOBBY SAYS YOU DON'T HEAR IT. AND THEY REFERENCE THAT IN THE SECOND TO LAST EP."

For the record, Bobby says you probably don't hear it when it happens. How do you explain that when Bobby dies he hears it? Sil doesn't hear it when what's his face gets taken out, but Sil hears it the rest of the series. And why wouldn't Sil hear it when the guy is at the table right next to him? Any explanation defies common sense. There's not a single person that dies in the show that doesn't hear it when it happens.

Using this logic, it's just as plausible that Tony had a panic attack in the final ep. Now I know what you're thinking, "But buffalo, he's never had a panic attack where he just blacks out all of a sudden." Well obvi. Neither does anyone else die and the screen just cuts to black. He's had more panic attacks then threats on his life. Even with this ridiculous line of thinking, he's still more likely to have had a panic attack then a sudden death. 

Monday, June 17, 2013

Warm Bodies

1) Eh, it's a lot better than some of tha other zombie movies. Obvi I have a thing for horror romcoms, but it was hard to get too wild about this one.

2) I guess it was one of tha first zombie movies to develop the subsets of zombies. I was only half paying attention when I was watching this so it made it pretty hard to keep up at first lol.

3) The whole thing is pretty out in left field. Even assuming zombies are real, it's still pretty unbelievable. I mean, they figure out that to transition the zombies into humans, they gotta start to get feelings for each other. Who would really be the first to jump off the cliff into that one? It's like, yeah I'll just start gii with this zombie and maybe he won't eat my friends flesh anymore.

4) It's pretty tight that there's a COLONEL in the movie who's trying to TKO people.

B-