Top 10 TV Shows: #1: Friends

Obvi no surprises here BW. Instead of talking about my love for tha show (which YAK if U R a tru blog fan, or can see by googleing Friends in the little bar at tha top right part of tha blog), I'm instead going to talk about why I'm more qualified to make that assessment that any of you posers and why I would clobber any of you at Friends trivia. 

First though, I'll get it out of tha way why it outweighs all. To put it in perspective, Breaking Bad's finale had 10.3 million viewers.  Friends had 52.5 million viewers #unmatched. Obvi, I'd get a lot of hoola for this comparison ("but Buff, AMC isn't a major network, Friends was too generic, more people were streaming it online" or other goofy claims), but without getting into the substance of why Friends is good, it is the only 21st century show that has hit 50 million views (which it did on multiple episodes). I'll cut the cord on Halloweenjitsu when some other show comes close. No one will come close to taking that challenge.  Everyone keep me posted LOL.

Now that I've taken care of that a further background is necessary: in like May of 2008, played M.A. in a game of Friends Scene It. I may or may not have been drinking and missed a single question and managed to give up the board to her. Ever since then, haters have been skeptical. More recently, another J.D. also claimed he could beat me.

This is all nonsensical.

Assuming arguendo, that the 2008 game wasn't a fluke and I was just actually out-Friended (lol) I've been putting in tha work for the last few years. Think about it, since the Summer of 2008 I've fallen asleep with tha TV on exclusively to tha show Friends. Even assuming that I only watch 2 episodes a night before I fall asleep*fn1, which is a fucking conservative estimate, and also assuming I haven't watched any eps the rest of the day (also generous), this means I've watched 4,015 episodes of Friends since I've started watching the show religiously.*fn2

For you friends rookies out there (pay attention M.A.), there are 236 episodes of Friends. Obvi, I probably haven't watched all episodes equally.*fn3 Nevertheless, this mean that since the last time I fell short in a game of competitive trivia, I have seen each episode an additional 17 times.*fn4 AND THAT'S ASSUMING I ONLY WATCH THA TWO EPS BEFORE I GO TO BREAD. 

Long story short, 
a) this is the greatest TV show of all time. 
b) I would pwn anyone at it.

*FN1: I know what you're thinking- but Buff what about tha 3 day benders you go on every fall and all those nights not spent in your own bread? Well, my ill informed friends, think about what hit TV show I would recover to all day on a Sunday (and maybe Monday if it was a bad one lol). 

*FN2: I've always slept with the TV on since I moved upstairs in the Pinecone (circa August 2006). However, at that time I am sure that I didn't own all of the seasons of Friends. To pinpoint when I started watching Friends religiously, I had to flashback to when I was seeing certain LFs and figure out if a) the TV was on with them and b) if it was Friends. To the best of my recollection, I slept with the TV on during my sowing my wild oats stage of 2006, and past the SS era of most of 2007 (even at this time I ruled at Friends and consistently took her to town on Friends Scene It). Early 2008 had some Friends, but I don't think I made a full commitment to falling asleep to the show until I had counter-resistance from AM in the fall of 2008 when she wanted to fall asleep to these hippie shows other than Friends so I made it a full time deal.Even with more recent candidates (KB, WU, GG, AH2013), they've all been on board with tha show.

*FN3: Season 10 makes me sad because the show is ending LOL.Tha last scene was tha only TV show that's ever made me tear up lol.

*FN4: Since last fall, I've mostly watched the blu-ray eps of Friends which are shorter and also the ones that are still replayed on TV, so I may be a little off my game. I've committed to the transition back to DVD since November 1st of this year.

Friends: the One with the Halloween Party

Bw, as it may or may not surprise you, my favorite month of tha year is October. Now I know everyone gets that I take time off of work to lay around watching scary movies every October. But someone once asked me, "buff, what do you do the other 11 months of the year?" And without hesitation I reply, "fall asleep to the hit tv show Friends."

The one (obvi) very minor drawback to the show is that it only references Halloween a few times in the show and only has 1 episode that is about halloween (I'll bet that poser Maddie can't name tha other few smh lol). That being said, here's the run down:

1) Obvi a really solid episode all tha way around. Mona's in it which is tight. She's the second chick that I wish wouldn't have gotten kicked off tha show (besides Kathy, man was she tight - and speaking of which, anyone get that Chandler's dressed like the character in Kathy's favorite book - start taking notes Maddie).

2) This is also the last major literary work that Sean Penn can be seen in that doesn't actually suck. If you don't believe me you should go check out This Must be the Place.

3) Except for the absence of any scary movies going on in the background, a good solid effort here,

A

We're the Millers

1) This was pretty solid. Obvi going into the movie you knew there would be some dumb scenes since they are doing something so ridiculous lol. I mean, it was a little over tha top to repeatedly beat up these international drug lords. And what are tha odds that a group of 4 strangers could really spend 48 hours together and decide they should be a family for the rest of their life? But overall, it was pretty good.

2) Man that one goofy kid must have really gotten his jollies going when he was making out with the two of them at once lol.

3) Despite how all around good the movie was, the best part was definitely in the after takes where they surprise Jennifer Aniston by playing the Friends theme song. She looked like she was tearing up even after all these years :(

4) Anyone catch Jason Sudeikis's Arthur Bryant's shirt?!?! He's always repping KC.

B+

Trust

1) At first I was really excited about this since David Schwimmer directed it. For those of you who are unfamiliar with him, he played Ross on the hit TV show Friends. Dear god was this a long ways away from Friends.

2) The whole movie is actually screwed up. I'm a big fan of the crime based dramas where they have to hunt down some sexual predator Law and Order SVU style, but this one wasn't near as good. There was no Elliot Stabler, no dramatic jury trial, and really no conclusion.

3) The ending was just sad. I mean, they don't catch the sexual predator? And then if that wasn't enough they show him being a physics teacher in Sunnyville USA with a wife and kids. Why didn't they just catch the guy?

4) I read in an interview that David Schwimmer wanted to distance himself from being Ross on Friends. I don't know why he'd want to replace that image of himself with someone who makes these sad drama movies with depressing endings. I mean, Matt LeBlanc won a Golden Globe in his new show Episodes. I just wish Ross went somewhere sort of near the Friends genre.

Beggars can't be choosers,

D+

What's Your Number?

1) It's super predictable. I mean, some dude friend starts helping her find her ex lovers. Obvi they're gonna fall in love along the way. It's unbelievably predictable- I mean she goes off with some other dude and she's obviously gonna leave him for the other dude.

2) All was generally going well in this movie until that stupid scene where they break into Madison Square Garden. Is this realistic that they play strip poker and commit aggravated burglary at the same time before jumping into that river? What kind of date was that?

3) That being said the movie was pretty tight. It had an original plot line, was pretty funny, and had her dad said LOL. #yak #yota. My only real qualm with the plot is just a personal grievance about settling down LOL.

4) Two other things really boosted this movie:

a) Anna Farris is in it. Now I know what you're thinking- she's not in anything great. But she is in the sick tv show Friends. She plays Erica the birth mother of monica and chandler's twins.

b) PAPA DOC from 8 Mile was in it. He plays one of her ex-hookups. I almost had to rewind it just because it was so tight.

c) They mention TWITTER a bunch.

5) Ciera had some totally irrelevant commentary that she wanted me to write including but not limited to: a) She was very fashionable the whole movie; b) her room was cute; c) the cinematography was good. #smh

Good stuff

B+

Top 10 Friends XMas Episodes 2-1

#2) The One with the Girl from Poughkeepsie- Season 4

This episode isn't very good but it does have this sick song that Phoebe sings at the end that makes it so tight.

1) The One with the Holiday Armadillo- Season 7

This episode is the tightest all around (obvi). The whole holiday armadillo thing is tight. The part where Chandler hands the money to Ben and drops it is so funny. And obvi when Joey shows up in the Superman outfit its sick. Good stuff.

Top 10 Friends XMas Episodes 5-3

5) The One with the Christmas in Tulsa- Season 9

This episode is pretty solid all around, but is probably not as high as it could be because a majority of the episode is just flashing back to all the other tight Xmas episodes. I guess that you could make an argument that this should bump up this episode since it incorporates all the other ones, but that seems kind of unoriginal.

The babe who tries to get on Chandler (Selma Blair) is super good looking. I'm not a big fan of short hair but she's good at pulling it off.

The part where Chandler gives them all gifts notifying them of a gift to the orchestra is tight lol.

4) The One with the Inappropriate Sister - Season 5

Overall this episode is pretty stupid but a few small (non Christmas related parts) make this episode rule.

The part where Phoebe is just ringing the bell is pretty boring. I always get this catholic guilt whenever I walk by any of those people at the store and usually end up giving them money. My only problem with it is I wish they had like a sticker to give you showing you already have Christmas generosity lol.

The part where Danny keeps going to town with his sister is pretty weird. And Rachel's love life in this season is pretty goofy all around.

One tight part that saved this is when Ross and Joey prank call Chandler at the beginning. That part is too funny. The part where Joey writes the both of the scripts is one of the tightest parts of the whole series. And they invent FIREBALL.

3) The One With Phoebe's Dad- Season 2

This one doesn't have any super great individual parts. But the whole episode is pretty solid all around.

Phoebe trying to figure out her whole family life never made that much sense to me. I mean, Chandler does it in like 2 episodes. The producers never really try to make her attempts to reconnect with her family sad at all, so it just kind of drags the whole thing out for no reason.

Joey and Chandler delaying their Christmas shopping till the last minute is pretty tight- I've only bought like 2 presents so far lol.

And the party without the radiator is pretty solid.

Top 10 (8) Friends XMas Episodes

What's good bw, I remember counting down the top 10 Friends Thanksgiving episodes last year and thought I'd do the same with Christmas.

For those of you that might not know (shame on you), Friends only went 10 seasons so it only makes sense to do a countdown with the top 10.

Unfortunately, Season 1 and 10 don't have a Christmas episode, as the writers tended to focus more on Thanksgiving and (somehow forgot about HALLOWEEN) tended not to put as much effort into Christmas.

That being said here's the top 8-

8) The One With the Routine- Season 6

In all reality this one is pretty boring. It's kind of funny when Joey pours water on that guys pants and stuff but the Ross/Monica dancing was pretty smdh. The rest of the time they just look for the presents that Monica has hidden somewhere but even thats boring.

Part of my problem with this episode is I really think Chandler kind of tanks seasons 5-7 and he's really pretty ho-hum in this one.

I guess the part where Janine and Joey finally kiss is pretty tight too. Too bad they cut her off of the show.

7) The One Where Rachel Quits- Season 3

This is the one where Joey has convinced Rachel to quit her job at Central Perk. Ross breaks a girl scout's leg and has to sell her cookies for her. The only real XMas part of it is that Joey works selling Christmas trees and they eventually make Phoebe less sad about it by buying all of the dead trees for her.

There's also really nothing much to this episode. It only gets a nod above the last one because Chandler's still tight in this season. The line about a Muppet getting TKO'd is also pretty funny and is enough of a tiebreaker to boost this to 7.

Tomorrow I'll do 6-4!

The Wedding Date

1) This was like a much worse version of Pretty Woman. She hires an escort to go to some wedding with her so she can make her ex-boyfriend jealous. Yadayadayada they end up falling for each other.

2) Do you think the escort would really fall for this girl? I mean, nothing against her or anything, but isn't the whole point of being an escort that you don't fall for your people? Seems like the more realistic thing would be him wanting more money and taking off on her.

3) Why do they have to go on a first date after they decide to be together at the end of the movie? There's some other movie I've seen not too long ago that I can't remember where this happens too and it doesn't make any sense. It's like, it's not that they just had a good weekend or something, but they manage to fall in love, fight, and then promise to be together. Is a first date really necessary at this point? I mean the dude is becoming unemployed for you, give him a break.

4) One of the only good parts was the escort had a role in Season 9 of Friends. He plays Gavin, the guy that temporarily replaces Rachel at work and trys to court her, albeit unsuccessfully.

D+

How Do You Know?

Wgbw, sorry for the delays. School is getting busy again lol.

1) Man was this boring. She gets fired from the softball team (who gets fired from a softball team??) and has to go hang out with her chick loving boyfriend Owen Wilson. Then Paul Rudd, whos facing some white collar crime charges, calls her to not take her out on a date.

2) The whole movie just repeats the above paragraph like 1400 times with no real progress. She comes home to Owen Wilson, who's still seeing other chicks, and then calls Paul Rudd and they don't make love. Rinse and repeat again.

3) Then there's the chick from A Lot Like Love and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days who's randomly pregnant and intertwined with the story somehow.

4) I wonder if during their downtime on the set Reese Witherspoon and Paul Rudd just talked about how tight it was to be on the best show of all time Friends.

Despite the promising cast, this one was a sinker,

D

BWTF: #2: Jennifer Aniston: The Leprechaun

Wgbw, #2 is Jennifer Aniston in her first big picture The Leprechaun. Obvi Jennifer Aniston is best known for her role on the best TV show of all time Friends, but it's good to see she got her start in some mediocre horror movie. Tune in tomorrow for number 1!

Seven

1) I dunno why Brad Pitt is so angry the whole time. He's got this tight wife to go hang out with and gets to make it rain with Morgan Freeman all day in this tight detective job.

2) I guess Kevin Spacey made a pretty good bad guy. His voice/character were pretty scary the whole time. I'm never really wild about any of the movies he's in (American Beauty), but I guess if he's going to be in a good movie, he might as well be the bad guy.

3) Where in the hell was this supposed to be set in? It like rains all the time, but then there's this desert just outside of this urban area? They could've made the weather less jitsu.

4) LOL there's an episode of Friends where Chandler is in a box. OPEN THE BOX!

A-

Children of the Corn (2009)

WGBW, rounding down some studying for the night. Thought I'd throw a review of this gem of a movie I just watched.

1) Like most of the remakes it was ho-hum. The remake of Halloween did it's elders justice but this one wasn't great.

2) How goofy is the little dude that is supposed to be in charge of the cult? He was kinda stupid in the first one but this is just jitsu. In the scene where they surround the girl and he signals for the kill, he looks like one of those tee-ball kids who gives out base stealing signs. Also, I'm pretty sure he's one of the kids on Dexter: The Second Season.

3) It also seemed like the couple just kept fighting and fighting the whole first part of the movie. If someone was nagging at me during a road trip through rural Nebraska I might've pulled the car over too.

4) For you Friends fans out there, do you remember the episode with the home study? (You can see the relevant clip here) Joey develops the code word BERT for danger. There's a clip in this movie (which you can see here at the 6:49 mark) that shows her yelling BERT the same way Joey does LOL (you can also see that goofy signaling the kid does there too).

Nothing to write home about, but I wouldn't change the channel

C+

Top 10 (TV) Scenes Honorable Mention: Friends: Did She Get Off the Plane

It's hard for me to go through the top 10 scenes without mentioning a non movie one. The greatest scene in the greatest TV show in this history of the world: Friends. In the series finale Rachel leaves for her new job in Paris despite Ross hunting her down at the airport and telling her that he still loves her. A dejected Ross returns home only to find out that SHE GOT OFF THE PLANE. It doesn't get better then this BW

**Edit**- I forgot to mention. When they kiss here the same music plays that played when they had their first kiss. #themoreyouknow

Friends Thanksgiving Episodes 3-1

3) Season 8 - The One with the Rumor- Featured Brad Pitt as Ross and Monica's high school friend. Despite all the poor reviews Brad Pitt got I thought it was generally really well done. Lots of great lines. Including:

Monica: Hey, what are you doing? You gotta save room, you’ve got almost an entire turkey to eat. Joey: Let me explain to you how the human body works.

Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross; Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.

Ross: Look Rach I’m sorry, okay? I was a stupid kid, okay? The only reason I joined.. Will: Co-founded! Ross: …co-founded.

2) Season 10- The One With the Late Thanksgiving- Season 10 isn't the best because most of the season overplays inside jokes that were built up over the first 9 seasons. I thought this episode did a good job of stepping outside of that and it's by far one of the funniest Thanksgiving episodes. It's also one of the two episodes that mentions Kansas. Some good lines include

Joey: Don’t put words in peoples mouths you put turkey in peoples mouths!

Joey: (gasping) That's Alicia Mae Emory's outfit!

Joey: That's fire. Beats everything. Phoebe: Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon? Joey: Ooh! Well played, Phoebe Buffay, well played.

Chandler: you went to the game, I can see Joey's hand. Ross: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!!

And the part where they all have their heads sticking through the door and Joey's eyes get big. So good.

1) Season 4- The One With Chandler in a Box- it's close between Season 10 and this one. I'm still on the fence but I gotta think that this one edges it out slightly. This one takes place right after Joey finds out that Kathy cheated on him with Chandler, and Chandler spends Thanksgiving in a box in order to show Joey how much he cares. Monica brings Richard's son to Thanksgiving and Ross and Rachel bicker about Rachel returning gifts.

Some key lines (special thanks to @NPH for reminding me of these over the years)-

Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One, it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three, it hurts!

Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) live in a box!

Joey: Open the box! Rachel: What?! Joey: He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! Get out of there! Chandler: So? Joey: Yeah, we’re gonna be fine! Get out! Chandler: Yeah? Joey: Yeah, you did some real good thinkin’ in there. Chandler: Man, this is… **They hug, probably one of the coolest Joey/Chandler scenes.

Friends Thanksgiving Episodes 10-4

Thanksgiving blows but it is responsible for some sick episodes of Friends. Here's a countdown of the 10 Thanksgiving episodes. It's a little bit of a longer post since this show is so dominant.

10) Season 2- The One with the List- This one is last just because it doesn't have any Thanksgiving stuff go down in it. There's a reference for the mocholate being the Thanksgiving candy but no real Thanksgiving business going down.

9) Season 3- The One with the Football- Nothing wrong with this episode just no real great/memorable lines. This is ironic too because for the longest time my disc would always skip this episode, but upon revisiting it there was nothing wild on it. The football is good and the story is fine but nothing that made you laugh too much.

8) Season 9 - The One with Rachel's Other Sister- This one was good because of how good Christina Applegate could play Rachel's sister. It's a little jitsued up because in Season 3 (the one where no one's ready) her voice is different when she leaves Rachel a message on the answering machine. There are some funny parts in this one- it's funny when they don't give Joey a real plate, or when he forgets to go to the parade. Not too high because nothing memorable/really funny goes down.

7) Season 7- The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs- Had some good lines. Ross "You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states." and Joey: "Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game." Not as high up because Chandler is just so awkward in Season 7. He's not real funny with the Pink Sweater and gets kind of jitsu talking to Klunkers.

6) Season 5- The One With All the Thanksgivings- This one was good but it's flashbacks aren't as good as other episodes. Phoebe being in her first/second lifes aren't great and I've never been a fan of high school Monica/Rachel. Had some good parts- when Joey talks about thongs, and when Joey gets the turkey stuck on his head/gets scared of the turkey on Monica's head.

5) Season 1- The One Where Underdog Gets Away- Good because it sets the foundation for the rest of the Friends Thanksgivings. You also find out that Chandler hates Thanksgiving. It's odd that they all have plans to go home for Thanksgiving but end up spending the next 9 Thanksgivings together. Only down part is it gets too sappy when they talk about being all together on Thanksgiving.

The last 4 were the toughest to rank because they're all so good.

4) Season 6- The One Where Ross Got High- Has one of those sick 30 second parts where everybody says good shit. **Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together! Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas, and got divorced, again! Phoebe: I love Jacques Cousteau! Rachel: I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle! Joey: I wanna go!! Judy: That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds. And the part where the pages are stuck together and Joey goes "Damnit Chandler". lol.

Tune in tomorrow for the top 3!

Along Came Polly

1) It's fairly ho-hum. Jennifer Aniston's way too quirky and this has to be one of the weeniest roles Ben Stiller's ever played. I mean, who's afraid to eat peanuts from the bar?

2) It's hard to find the guy who plays his friend funny. After he got all fucked up in Red Dragon [Blu-ray] Everytime I see him I just imagine that Tooth Fairy guy jumping out and making it rain on him.

3) This is like a who's who from past Friends episodes.

a) In Friends Rachel dates Ben Stiller for an episode in season 3 (the one with the screamer).

b) The crazy hostess is Hillary who goes on a date with Ross in Season 5 (the one with ross's teeth).

c) Alec Baldwin dated Phoebe in season 8 (the one in massepeoqua).

d) The scuba instructor was David who was Phoebe's on/off scientist boyfriend. He was real scrawny in friends, I don't know how he looked so ripped in this movie.

The Friends shit is cool but overall this is kind of a turd

C+