Happy Halloween

Wgbw, it's the best day of the year. Me, Natalee, Billy, Cynthia, Eric, and Charles wish you all a happy halloween. I guess Buffalo has some paper to finish by 5 but stay tuned for some top notch blogging today :)

BTWF #1: Paul Rudd: Halloween 6

Wgbw, the long anticipated wait is over. #1 on the top 10 countdown of famous people who got their starts in horror movies is Paul Rudd in Halloween: the Curse of Michael Myers. Just slightly edging out Jennifer Aniston, Paul Rudds always been one of my favorite actors, and let's face it: the Halloween series runs laps around its Leprechaun counterpart. And he's a former Jayhawk!

Jeepers Creepers

1) The first 30 minutes of this was scary as nuts. Really freaky when they see the crazy guy throwing bodies into that well and then having him go run them off the road. Really like a top 10 scary scene. Even that stupid Jeepers Creepers song is pretty scary.

2) I've never liked Justin Long in horror movies (see also Drag Me to Hell) and he was pretty n00bish in this one.

3) This movie had such good things going for it until the scene where the monster just opens up his wings on the ground. You're sitting there, watching this tight movie, then all of a sudden the bad guy flops out just a fucking huge pair of wings. And then you're like, what the hell is going on? How can you be scared of some big giant flying bat? smh

4) That being said it was still an okay movie. Just don't ever watch any of the sequels lol

B-

BWTF: #2: Jennifer Aniston: The Leprechaun

Wgbw, #2 is Jennifer Aniston in her first big picture The Leprechaun. Obvi Jennifer Aniston is best known for her role on the best TV show of all time Friends, but it's good to see she got her start in some mediocre horror movie. Tune in tomorrow for number 1!

Beavis and Butthead Season Opener

Fuck the world series did anyone see beavis and butthead on thursday? That was where it was at. The first episode was super tight, but it also featured a wreck of halloween shit too.

Speaking of which has anyone ever noticed how in Halloween 6 they mention beavis and butthead and some dude even tries to do his laugh. As I'm writing this the lady who does the voice for the old woman in Beavis and Butthead Do America is on tv on a swiffer commercial lol.

Top notch stuff,

A+

BTWF #3: Johnny Depp: Nightmare on Elm Street

WGBW, number 3 is the always scary Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elm Street. He makes his motion picture debut dying by getting pulled into the bed lol (you can see this famous scene here). For all the bad movies he's tight in this one.

BTWF #4: Dana Carvey: Halloween 2

Number 4 coming a little early tonight b/c I'll be busy tomorrow LOL. Number 4 is Dana Carvey from the sick movie Halloween 2. Now I know what you're thinking, how did we miss Garth Algar in this movie?! The answer is a) he doesn't really look like Garth in it lol, and b) he's just the guy carrying the stereo around who runs into Michael Myers. He actually has very little face time lol.

Dracula

1) Turn your speakers up lol. I don't know if it's our TV, or netflix, or what, but I couldn't understand like half the shit they were saying the whole movie.

2) Good to see that the crazy guy who always warns of bad stuff thats about to go down originated here. That guy was getting annoying but then I realized that back in the 1930s that probably wasn't in every horror movie like it is today lol.

3) These black and white movies are almost always mediocre. Maybe it's just that my ADD needs shiny things and music but I get so bored during these movies. There's hardly any external noise, colors, or generally tightthings going down.

4) That being said it was still pretty good. I mean, it spawned a whole generation of tight movies/general halloween shenanigans.

Oh, and good stuff for being so short lol

B

BTWF #5: Mariska Hargitay: The Ghoulies

Wgbw, getting to the top half of the countdown. Number 5 is Mariska Hargitay in the piss poor movie The Ghoulies. For those of you that haven't seen it, its worth checking out lol. Anywho, she's the top notch detective Olivia Benson on Law and Order SVU. It's really one of the best TV shows of all time and she's super tight in it (obvi).

The Birds

1) SMH. Before I watched this I sat around and thought about how bad it could be. Despite the critical acclaim for it, I had a stinking feeling it would be bad and it turned out I was right.

2) How could it be this bad? Because it's a movie about birds trying to peck people. There's no demon possessing them, there's no real reason for any of it. It's just a bunch of birds.

3) I think this is pretty good evidence that some movie critics just jump on board with whatevers in style. I mean, for all that is holy, this is about a bunch of birds trying to get people. How was anyone scared that a bunch of birds would just attack the shit out of you?

4) There is a lesson to be learned from this: don't move to California lol. You know where birds wouldn't attack you? Western Kansas. Thats because hunting season starts in a few weeks and I'll bet the birds don't screw around there lol.

I guess it was original,

D

Shaun of the Dead

1) It was running laps around most of these other zombie movies I've seen. I've actually never been wild about most zombie movies, but this one was pretty good.

2) It's even more impressive that I like this because outside of Love Actually, it's hard for me to think of any European movies I'm terribly wild about (albeit I don't really ever try to watch them lol).

3) With all that being said it still seems to suffer from the same problems that plague other zombie movies: they all have the same plot. I mean, these guys realize that theres a bunch of zombies that are taking over and they have to figure out what to do. I get that they add the 'he's not doing anything with his life twist' but besides that this is the same old same old.

4) They just cuss like sailors this whole movie lol.

Good, but maybe laying off the zombie movies for awhile,

B+

BTWF #6: Kevin Bacon: Friday the 13th

WGBW, #6 is Kevin Bacon, who gets TKO'd in the original Friday the 13th. Although not near as good as his performances in A Few Good Men and Hollowman, he was still pretty legit. Unfortunately, he'll go down in Friday the 13th history as one of the n00bs that got killed by Jason's mom. I guess his neck strength couldn't overpower the old woman's forearm strength. #smh

Bride of Frankenstein

1) Best black and white movie I've seen by far. This movie just ran laps around the original Frankenstein (which I ironically at the time commented on that it was the best black and white movie I'd seen).

2) He was just making it rain at the beginning of the movie. In the first one he had a hard time figuring out how to do anything, now he's drowning people and throwing that one chick down the drain. He really evolved into a monster rather quickly.

3) Frankenstein loves drinking wine and smoking some ciggies too. You don't see too many bad guys do that kind of stuff. And all the blasphemy they keep talking about. I'm sure this movie was widely criticized as being too risque back in the day.

4) It was pretty historically important too. See the less than mediocre Bride of Chucky for evidence of this lol.

B+

Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

1) Pretty solid, especially compared to all of the bad sequels that come after this. Actually, the first 3 movies, and the new nightmare are all pretty good, but the rest of them just blow.

2) There was definitely some jitsu going on. Like when Freddy pops out of the dude's stomach. I also don't really get why Freddy possesses the Jesse guy and has him kill all of these people. I really wish they just would've stuck to the good old days where you get KO'd in your dreams and not by some super natural entity.

3) Freddy also must have been working on his striking technique. As I noted in the first one he was a pretty big n00b. He got messed up when Nancy hit him with a lamp, and now he is Jean-Claude Van Damming these kids at the pool party.

4) Some trivia IMDB let me in on.
a) I never realized that the Freddy theme isn't used in this one.
b) Brad Pitt and John Stamos both tried out to play Jesse (so did Christian Slater but I don't really know who that is)

B

BTWF #7: Eva Mendes: Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror

Number 7 is the superbabe from Hitch, Eva Mendes. She makes her motion picture debut in the mediocre movie Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror. She plays this chick who gets converted by all the children and ends up TKOing herself to join the kids club. As a random aside, I've noticed in every blog post I have about her I comment about how good looking she is, which is still true today.

Dawn of the Dead

1) What a snooze fest. These zombie movies are kind of jitsu when there's no real point to them. It's like these zombies lock these n00bs in this mall and then they can't figure out how to get out. yawn.

2) If they would've avoided the mall at least then it would have at least been entertaining, but this was just boring.

3) Zombies seem to be scarier when they are super fast and crazy looking. I actually find most scary bad guys creepier when they move slow (Michael Myers, Jason, etc.), but I don't know why. If Michael Myers ran after fools it wouldn't be as scary, but for some reason these slow zombies just aren't scary. It's like a bunch of old folks that got out trying to touch you. I don't know why they just don't shove them over and run out of the place lol.

Seemed more like an action movie than horror movie,

D+

BTWF: #8: Shannon Elizabeth: Jack Frost

Number 8 is Shannon Elizabeth's first ever movie in the horrible excuse for a Christmas movie Jack Frost. To be honest bw, I was so bored during this movie that I actually never noticed that she was in it the first time. Wikipedia say's shes even credited under a different name for this one. FWIW I wouldn't recommend watching it to figure out why she's in the PG-13 pose above smh.

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

1) I don't really get why this is a cult classic. The movie was just really bad all the way around. It took too long to get started, the killers are all pretty goofy looking, and none of it really makes sense.

2) Wes Craven is super hit or miss. He's got his tight stuff (Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream) but then has stupid stuff like this, The Last House on the Left, and that goofy People Under the Stairs movie.

3) These bad guys don't seem very tough either. They really just look like a bunch of uncoordinated, stupid, not buff bad guys. How they managed to TKO this family is beyond me.

Even Bricker had a hard time sitting through this one,

D-

BTWF: #9: John Travolta: Carrie

WGBW, #9 on the before they were famous countdown is John Travolta in Carrie. For all the upbeat, lovey dovey, family based movies he's in he sure was a dick in this one. He plays the guy that goes and kills the pig to dump all the blood on Carrie. FWIW John Travolta movies are generally pretty bad, and while this one wasn't great it was better then the rest of the shenanigans he's done.

BTWF: #10: Katherine Heigl: Bride of Chucky

Her first big role in a motion picture, Katherine Heigl made it rain in Bride of Chucky. Although the movie was far from good (although probably better than a D+), it's pretty big news to be in the Child's Play movies. She'd later go on to be in Knocked Up and apparently that jitsu Grey's Anatomy.

Top 10 Before They Were Famous

Wgbw,

Wasn't anything too wild in the recommendations for the top 10. After mulling it over, we're gonna count down the top 10 movie stars who made their early debut in a horror movie. Now, before Jon goes and makes some polisci graph about why this countdown is inaccurate I should preface it with a few reservations.

1) I'll generally only include them if I've reviewed the movie before. I don't want to trace every famous movie star to some bad movie they did once that no one's ever heard of.

2) I won't include people who are now famous for some jitsu show. A few google searches produced some famous people from Lost or ER or some show I couldn't care less about.

3) It might not be their actual debut. I tried to weed out people whose 10th movie ended up being some horror movie, but generally it will be super early in their career.

The Amityville Horror (2005)

1) A really tight movie. Top notch stuff. The little girl that was haunted was scary as nuts, the scene where the regular little girl is on the roof of the house made my hands sweat, and most of the other shit was scary.

2) When I turned this movie on I started SMH at first. Ryan Reynolds in a horror movie just sounds like a stupid idea. He's only mediocre in RomComs but in horror movies I thought he'd be awful. He was actually okay though. Him going crazy was kind of stupid and so was him walking around half naked the whole time. But overall he didn't TKO the movie which was a plus.

3) I could go without the house doing all the stupid stuff but whatever. The little girl/creepy story behind it made up for it.

4) Two other minor things
a) Why was that girl going through the old school newspaper reel? She probably doesn't have lexis or anything but even a google search would be more efficient.

b) The babysitter wasn't the best looking horror movie chick of all time but she was still pretty top notch.

Good shit Miroki,

A

Jaws

1) Not really a Halloweenesque movie but it's scary as hell. For you avid followers, you've probably figured out that I'm scared of dolls, the devil, and heights. The ocean is a very close 4 and sharks are definitely a big part of it. Even when you know it's coming it's still scary as hell when Jaws pops out of the water.

2) I dunno why they let that one guy just sit there and run his fingernails across the chalkboard. I don't think I'd pay attention to someone if they did that I think I'd throw something at them.

3) Seems like there's a lot of horsing around here too. I mean, they know where the shark is at, why don't they just go take it down? And why do they decide to take it down in that makeshift boat? If you're going to go after this gigantic shark you might as well go big.

4) It's hard for me to reiterate how scared of the ocean/sharks I am. Part of it is probably because I can't swim, but even watching youtube videos of that Jaws amusement ride freaks me out. My hands are sweating up a storm just thinking about this.

Despite the great subject matter of the movie it's fairly boring,

C-

Top 10 Brainstorming

Wgbw,

A dedicated reader (@warnerben) thought a top 10 countdown might be in order. I agree with the idea and it's always tight to do (see evidence here), but I'm having a hard time thinking about a top 10 list that wouldn't reinvent the wheel too much on here.

Top 10 killers/villains?
Top 10 best looking ladies from horror movies?
Top 10 lines from 8 mile?
Top 10 Jon jokes?

Let me know blog world!

You can comment, tweet (halloweenjitsu) or email (halloweenjitsu at gmail) :)

The Evil Dead

1) They seem pretty oblivious the whole time. There's like this growling chick on the ground and the rest of them are just sitting around arguing about when to leave. If we were at the Cone and Alan started growling and rolling around on the ground I'd probably get the hell out of Dodge. I mean, they just lay around while all this spooky shit is going on around them it doesn't make any sense. They even watch each other make it rain on the other people and then just hang out and kick it. It's befuddling.

2) Some of the faces and shit they have going on are pretty scary, especially with all the crazy noises these n00bs make.

3) I wish the trees weren't infected. It'd be a lot scarier if it was just the people that got possessed but I dunno why all the other stuff gets possessed.

4) Some of the symbolism they use is the same stuff that Michael Myer's friend has tatooed on him in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers.

It was okay,

C

Seven

1) I dunno why Brad Pitt is so angry the whole time. He's got this tight wife to go hang out with and gets to make it rain with Morgan Freeman all day in this tight detective job.

2) I guess Kevin Spacey made a pretty good bad guy. His voice/character were pretty scary the whole time. I'm never really wild about any of the movies he's in (American Beauty), but I guess if he's going to be in a good movie, he might as well be the bad guy.

3) Where in the hell was this supposed to be set in? It like rains all the time, but then there's this desert just outside of this urban area? They could've made the weather less jitsu.

4) LOL there's an episode of Friends where Chandler is in a box. OPEN THE BOX!

A-

Cujo

1) I didn't realize they just hang out in the car the whole movie. That's a big downside to living out in the middle of nowhere. Seems like generally someone would see this killer dog making it rain on you and they would call the police, but not out in BFE. Living in the country would be tight, but dear god would it blow scary movie wise.

2) Kind of a goofy movie. I mean, the dog really looks like Beethoven so I dunno how it would be too scary. I get if you were trapped in a car and theres some killer dog shaking the car it would be scary, but how often would that really happen?

3) Anyone who ever cried after watching Old Yeller should watch this and it'd sober them right up lol.

4) The mom in the movie is Laurie's mom on Rob Zombie's Halloween 2. I guess she's been in a wreck of horror movies.

Knock on wood that I'll get bit by a dog soon, but it's hard to get too scared over this,

C-

Prom Night (2008)

1) Really got better the second time I watched it. Kind of like the top 5 movie Sorority Row I wasn't very wild about it the first time around. Now it's pretty tight. I think the first time I watched it I got distracted by that scary ass trailer for the Strangers.

2) The killer is pretty jitsu, but he keeps it interesting the whole movie. Some of the times when he would kill people it looked stupid in the point-of-view mode of the victim.

3) All of this could have been avoided with more responsible parenting. I mean, if your niece had a psycho try to kill her a few years ago would you really let her go stay the night at a spooky hotel that was undergoing renovations? And get a room with her boyfriend? #smh

4) I never realized the girl is also the bipolar chick from that SVU finale from a few years ago. Also the dude that dies wearing the Halo shirt is tight.

I can't believe I got Bricker to come watch this in theaters with me,

B

The Shining

Sorry bw for the delay, this weeks just been busy lol.

1) This movie was really super long. I get that it probably takes him awhile to have time to go apeshit and stuff but it seemed a little long even at that.

2) I think the whole point of the movie should have been that everybody gets cabin fever and starts going crazy. I'm confused how the little kid starts having all the visions before they even go to the hotel or what that one dude gets some vision to return to the hotel to check up on people. It would've made more sense if all of these shenanigans happened once they got to the hotel.

3) This shit was scary. Those 2 little girls were scary as hell, and so was the little imaginary Tommy kid. I don't think I'd get too scared of Jack Nicholson going crazy or anything, but those little kids were sure spooky.

4) The book was a lot better. Actually I never read the book lol.

5) I've sat around and thought about that picture at the end and I'm still not sure what to think of it. If it's really some haunted hotel then maybe it just got put there after he made it rain. Otherwise it doesn't make much sense. I mean, they've got all this time to kill (pun lol), but they don't ever notice it, so it probably has to have come after he died. Maybe it's a memorial or something, who knows.

Wish it wasn't so long,

C+

The Sixth Sense

1) The first time I saw this movie some dickhead spoiled the twist right at the beginning of the movie. It's hard to get buck wild about it after you know that he's a fucking ghost the whole time.

2) Kinda of a smooshy ending to a horror movie. I'm all for the romcom/horror movie but this feel good/reconnecting with his wife thing was a little jitsu. So was the scene in the car where they talk about how his grandma visits him.

3) It's actually one of the scarier movies I've ever seen. The dude with the bullet hole in head, the lady with the slit wrists, and the people just being hung were all scary as hell. If any of you blog readers get bored beyond the grave please don't come back to visit me in the middle of the night wearing scary shit.

Absent the feel-good ending, this movie was pretty legit. Hows this grade for academy awards winners Jon?

B

Frailty

1) Pretty scary when you think about it. The references in the movie to the bible telling the one guy to kill his son to show God he's serious make this kind of realistically scary.

2) I've written before about how Matthew McConaughey should stick to RomComs but he's pretty legit in this one. Back in the day before I really got hooked on RomComs I thought he was spooky because of this movie lol.

3) I don't totally get why his face gets all blurred out when he's on the videos and stuff. I mean, I guess the point of that is that he is doing God's work, but then that seems to defeat the purpose of the movie being scary since all those people were actually probably bad news.

4) Some good movie fan trivia for you blog world: little Fenton is actually the girl's brother who gets pranked in the critically acclaimed movie Sorority Row.

Solid original plot line, but just something missing

B

Silence of the Lambs

1) Top notch stuff overall. The scene at the end was crazy scary with the Buffalo Bob guy just chasing her around in the dark (another reason to sleep with the TV on). Also the crazy shit where he switches the dude's face onto his own so he can escape was nuts.

2) I don't really get the obsession with the lambs or really the makeup of the title. It's like she had these lambs scare her when she was little? And why does Hannibal care so much about the lambs? It's not like he's getting paid to hear her talk about her childhood or anything.

3) It was definitely scary and really tight, but I always thought that Red Dragon was a lot scarier and had a much crazier ending. Buffalo Bob is also pretty weak sauce compared to the the guy in Red Dragon.

4) The punch line at the end was tight "having an old friend for dinner" lol.

A

When a Stranger Calls (1979)

1) The first 20-30 minutes were really tight, but after that it kind of struggled. I thought the newer movie was a lot more suspenseful/generally creepier the whole time. The first part of this movie was super scary but I didn't really care about what happened to the killer in the interim period.

2) It was worse for other reasons too. The new Jill is a lot better looking then the old Jill, and the new killer is a lot creepier too. The new one was a lot more teen-horror genre which was tight.

3) The whole private investigator thing didn't really make sense. Horror movies are a lot creepier when nobody really knows who the killer is or why they're making it rain. This whole 'investigating the bad guy' thing was pretty jitsu.

4) And the killer's name was Duncan. Who names their kid Duncan anymore?

C

28 Days Later

1) Pretty spooky parts during the movie. I almost jumped a few times when those fucking zombies made it rain out of nowhere.

2) I don't know why they had to keep playing music during the whole movie. There was even some Church music going on during the movie. It seemed like it woulda been a lot spookier if there was just no music.

3) Pretty crazy twist with the whole military base. I didn't realize how rated R this movie would actually be. The dude putting his fingers through that guys eyeballs was CRAZY.

4) Sometimes these n00bs kept mumbling, it was pretty hard to understand them at some points.

Nothing really wrong with it, just doesn't fit my horror taste very well,

B-

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

1) I'm never terribly wild about these black and white movies but I know I need to catch up on some of these 'classics' lol.

2) For a black and white movie it wasn't great. For the first 45 minutes it was so dark that it was hard to tell what was going on. You know those times you're at Henry's upstairs and you wonder why it's so fucking dark everywhere. It kind of reminded me of that: really dark, a bunch of n00bs running around, and there's always the danger of someone falling and hurting themselves (lol bunz).

3) I don't really get why the movie was so important for horror movies. I mean it's a mediocre mid-60s black and white zombie movie but that's about it. I guess it had a showing in the old Halloween 2 (where the dude is watching it on tv) and the new Halloween 2 where she wakes up to it.

4) The "They're coming for you Barbara" line is money though.

C-

I Spit on Your Grave (1978)

Uhhhhhhhhhh

1) I really am taking a break from some of the torture gross horror themed movies. I know I said this when I reviewed the newer one but man was this bad.

2) There's really not much to say except the whole movie was pretty gross/fucked up. It was just a bunch of messed up rape scenes and then her going to town on the bad guys. I totally get how people got all nauseous watching this.

3) I don't know how anyone could think watching this was even remotely enjoyable,

F

Saw

1) What a tight movie. It had such an original plot line (I think it was pretty radically different from Seven) and was spooky as hell. The first time I saw it I was at the old Milhouse/ATM/Toromir house sleeping on the couch. I kept freaking out that the scary little doll guy who rides the tricycle would come down the hall at me. That doll guy is still pretty spooky and is actually featured in Dead Silence.

2) It had just the right about of plot twists/revelations. And the ending was fucking crazy. Nobody would've guessed it was just the crazy Jigsaw dude just kicking it on the floor.

3) It has some of the tightest scary movie lines ever. The live or die....make your choice line is tight and so is the I want to play a game line. It's even tighter when @enronnie just says them over and over again lol.

4) Despite all of this tight stuff, I can't quite figure out why it's still not top notch. It's one of those horror movies that after you see it for the first time you want to watch it again so you can see all the twists coming. But after that I get kind of bored lol.

B+

Paranormal Activity

1) At first I thought this was super spooky but now it was pretty ho-hum. The first time I watched it I couldn't make it through the part where she's hovering over him in bread just staring at him. That's some spooky stuff. People standing around looking spooky just staring at people is one of my pet peeves lol.

2) The rest of it seemed like a bad remix of The Blair Witch Project and Poltergeist. I can't believe that people actually thought this footage was real. I mean, this is just a less spooky version of the BWP. It's just in some house in the suburbia instead of some creepy woods.

3) I'd echo the my criticism of the BWP's camera usage. If any girl I was living with was just recording some supernatural entity scaring the shit out of me I think it'd be time to rethink the relationship.

4) And why on God's green earth don't they just run out of the house and never come back? Or turn the TV on at night so you're not in the dark? Sleeping with the tv on solves.

Meh,

D+

Jennifer's Body

Wgbw, it's finally one of the greatest days of the year! October 1st is so tight because it's the start of the sickest month and November 1st is still a month away lol. Without further ado,

1) I'm not terribly wild about vampire or werewolf movies, but this one was tight. I'm not even a huge Megan Fox fan (I know thats pretty jitsu) but this movie was tight.

2) It's kinda funny she's actually a succubus. I didn't even know that was real, I just thought that Doggles made that up for the actual succubus lol.

3) I've always been a fan of the horror-romcom, but am now starting to warm up to the horror/dark-comedy genre. I've seen a bunch of turd dark comedy movies, but this one was legit. Megan Fox was pretty funny the whole time and they made all the kinda gory parts get mixed up with her humor to keep it well rounded.

4) I am becoming a bigger Amanda Seyfried fan lately and I hadn't even realized she was in this movie. What a tight revelation. and how tight was that scene with her and Amanda Fox? #yeahbuddy

What a great start to October,

A+