Annabelle: Creation

Sorry for all of tha delays bw.

1) What a great movie. Tha prequel to tha 2014 hit Annabelle, this really did a great job of connecting tha dots. JJ and I even saw it in tha same theater that I saw tha first one in lol.

2) I thought all of the movies associated with the original Conjuring have done a solid job connecting tha movies together. This one was especially top notch. Tha movie obvi explains how Annabelle got associated with tha doll, but tha end shows how the little girl who goes missing ends up being tha estranged daughter killer from tha first movie.

3) And you horror movie buffs may have gotten the reference when tha daughter gets handed tha old school doll that tha actual movie was based on.

4) Probably tha best part was the reference to the Nun when they are flipping through the photos. That Nun was scary as nuts in the second Conjuring movie, and there's no wonder they are making a whole movie out of her.

Very blessed,

A

Cult of Chucky

Happy Friday tha 13th bw. I have some more reviews to do this October, but have been pretty busy lol.

1) First of all, I didn't think this many sequels in could be so good. I mean, tha last one was top notch, so who knew how they would top it.

2) I love that tha original Andy returned, but that they continued to build off of tha story line from tha last movie. The brief gist is that after Andy got Chucky mailed to him, he basically locked tha doll up and tortures it. However, tha main girl from tha last movie is now in a mental institution due to everyone thinking that she [but obvi actually Chucky] killed everyone in tha prior movie.

3) Tha only goofy part is obvi that Chucky has now learned how to get himself into other dolls which is how they wreck havoc on everyone in tha mental hospital. At first I was skeptical, but it's a pretty good plot twist. Although obvi it will have trouble if they make another movie.

4) All of tha kills were pretty crazy, it was only 90 minutes long, and it connected well back to all tha other movies. Not much to say, but it was really solid.

A+

(oh ps- if you watch tha non-Netflix version, tha foster sister from tha second movie comes back at tha end. Really top notch stuff.)

Bye Bye Man

Wgbw, This below post doesn't have much to say because honestly, this movie speaks for itself. I've re-written this post a bunch, but can't find tha words to say.

1) This movie was awesome. JJand I saw it in the tha finest city in west Johnson County and tha atmosphere was almost umatched. Initially, this movie didn't have much going for it. But, JJ and I saw a preview at that godawful Blair Witch movie and decided that we needed to tune in.

2) And, TBH, it is a (much better) knock off of tha hit movie CANDYMAN.

3) 2011 UncleBuff is a little more skeptical of all of these shenanigans than 2017 Buffalo, but in all reality, this is scary as nuts. I mean, you go into that house and then you die. And every time you think about his name, you die.  If you even think his name...you die. [Random side note- UB has been living by himself for a min now, and was concerned to go to tha laundry room after this. That should tell you how scary it was lol.]

4) DON'T SAY IT DON'T THINK IT. DON'T SAY IT DON'T THINK IT.

BYE BYE MAN,

A

The Purge: Election Year

1) This movie sucked. I don't even know how it qualified as a horror movie except for people acting weird and dressing like clowns.

2) Pretty goofy plot. Some election is coming up and someone runs wanting to end the purge (from tha first movie). Some of the purge supporters try and kill her tha night of in order to maintain tha purge forever.

3) I mean how goofy was this? The chick at tha beginning tried to steal candy from the store then returned in a halloween costume covered in blood singing about the purge. She stood there yelling "I'm gonna get my candy." Like WTF? How dumb is this? Then some chick walks out and shoots her lol. Too many of these people are very lackadaisical just running around singing getting TKOd.

4)  It was only like an hour and a half long but I literally fell asleep twice during the movie. It was that boring. You could watch a 10 minute clip of the movie to figure out this is the most predictable boring overdone movie of the last decade.

5) The only good part is that tha title reminds me of 2016's current front runner for song of tha year: Eric Church's RECORD YEAR. This movie would've been bumped up 2 notches if that song just played tha whole time and renamed itself "Tha Purge: Having a Record Year."

D-

Unfriended

Like I've previously said (not) about the Artist and the new Chucky movie, it had me on my feet clapping by the end. What a tight movie.

1) I actually bought this like a year ago to watch with a lady friend, but you all know how long those usually last lol. Anywho, the plot is basically that these 5 bozos posted a video of a drunk girl at school who (wasn't on team Mavs) then killed herself. A year later she comes back to haunt them.

2) I think it was pretty top notch and creative. I mean, lots of movies have tried to do the social media/ point-of-view footage, but never like this. When I first turned it on I thought it would get lame since you are just watching it through that Blair chick's computer, but it really was pretty unique. It also didn't get too gory which was solid.

3) Also- what a horrible group of juveniles lol. One dude admits to putting roofies in someones drink, raping them, and then having her get an abortion. One of them stole $800 from the drug dealer who got ratted out by the third person who was cheating on his bestfriend's lady friend, who was the chick who filmed the girl passed out and wrecked the other chick's car when she was drunk.

4) Probably the biggest lesson of the movie is that juvenile crime needs to be stopped early. It's basically a big public service announcement about the dangers of underage drinking, not teaching kids about consent, and selling drugs. Kids and their social media SMH LOL

A

Blair Witch (2016)

Oh lord

1) Many of you long blog fans will remember when I reviewed tha first movie (one of my first posts on tha blog). If you haven't read it, I would recommend it because 30 year old Buffalo and 24 year old Buffalo still share similar criticisms.

2) The movie was off to a good start. JJ and I had tha theater to our selves and we had soda and candy.

3) Only then tha wheels fall off. It's a sequel where they are trying to find his sister from the first movie (which reminds you of tha remake Friday the 13th). One girl cuts her foot and then it starts pulsating and later spits out a piece of string. (Go back and read that sentence again- it was that bad). Then she dies when she falls off a tree trying to retrieve a drone. Her companion dies (maybe) when a tree falls on him. SMH

4) Finally at the end you anticipate you'll get some closure. They run into the same cabin as the first movie. It looks the same inside. You finally figure out why people stare in the corner (so they don't see the witch and die). But then they ruin it some more. Creepy dude from the beginning comes back to try to kidnap the chick. The guy and chick (SPOILER) both die after they look at the witch.

5) Usually I don't do a 5, but this was bad. Things that tha movie didn't resolve: a) was tha creepy guy really in on tha whole thing? b) did that Pete (Petey sp?) guy really die? c) how can tha witch stop time and make it flash outside? d) why did they buy these 3 dollar budge flashlights instead of those industrial ones? d) WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DO THESE PEOPLE KEEP FILMING THIS? I mean, you're dragging yourself down a tunnel after you see a bunch of creepy figures out in the middle of the woods, and you're like "I really better make sure to get this on tape.

A SMDH moment for sure,

C- (only because it is better than that awful Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2)

The Visit

The good thing about not blogging for a year is that there is no shortage of material to go to town on.

1) I saw this hit 2015 movie in theaters. These two kids go to the boonies to visit their grandparents who are estranged from their mom. The grandparents start doing all this weird stuff and it goes from there.

2) I don't know why the kids don't just obey their grandparents and not go to the basement or stay up past 9:30. Seems like a pretty simple rule to follow that would have avoided all of these shenanigans. (I wouldn't want to go in some scary basement and lord knows I can't stay up past 9:30.) I mean, they see their grandma naked, projectile vomiting, and him using the tool-shed. I'd do as I was told and stay in my room lol.

3) The whole "cell phones don't work in this part of the country" subplot is getting kind of goofy in 2016. The only place I know where cell phones don't work is at Memorial Stadium during packed KU FOOTBALL games.

4) And really, how irresponsible is the mom? You haven't spoken to your parents in a bajillion years and you send your kids there with no oversight. The sequel will be social services taking the kids into state custody lol.

Overall pretty good. I didn't see the crazy ending coming and it was pretty short lol.

B

Krampus

What's good blog world. Figured I'll try and bring back tha blogging for this October lol. Some of you may remember last Winter's hit movie KRAMPUS. I didn't quite make it to tha theaters to see this one due to tha movie CREED (which was pretty OTC btw).

1) Anywho, this was pretty solid for being about Christmas. My loyal blog readers will remember that I can't stand Christmas (see here, here, and here), but this was still pretty original for being based on a pretty well-known XMas horror figure.

2) Most of the time they sit around and complain about Christmas (which makes a lot of sense to me obvi).  I'm with them- a forced holiday that makes everything busier and that if you complain about at all then everyone tells you to quit ruining the special day. (As a side note- I usually make up having a ladyfriend every year so I can leave Christmas early lol). But I guess that's why Krampus pops out- he can't stand when people don't like Christmas.

3) Although I will say the movie gets pretty goofy in the middle of it. There's like a bunch of gingerbread cookies that start shooting nail guns at that one dude. Krampus appears to be able to metaphor as tha one scene shows him jumping over houses, and then becomes a clown who eats people. I don't know if I totally get it.

4) When JJ and I saw CREED in theaters I kept telling him how funny I thought it would be if Krampus just jumped out at the end of the movie when they run up the stairs. I'm glad he didn't lol.

B-

The Addams Family (1991)

WGBW, Uncle Buffalo is back. I know I constantly apologize for tha lack of delays but it is tha second greatest day of tha year, and I wouldn't forget about this.

1) Despite 24 year old Buff's earlier thoughts, this movie is definitely running laps around tha second movie. Tha first one obvi started it all, it avoided that wretched gremlin from tha second, and they play golf most of tha movie.

2) To be honest, this whole movie freaked me out for the better part of my childhood. Obvi, not as much as Child's Play 2, but really pretty close. I mean, there is a fucking hand that can be anywhere that just randomly messes with you; tha Lurch guy could put a beating on anyone; and two really creepy children and tha spooky uncle.

3) FWIW, this movie was also tight because it was tha start of Christina Ricci's acting career. She has never really been in anything tight (except for that one ep of tha Good Wife obvi), but she is pretty top notch.

4) This movie always has a special place in my <3 due to its constant airtime over tha Halloween season. It also had a fucking pinball machine that was in every arcade lol.

Super pumped tw.

A-

Nurse Jackie Finale Thoughts

WGBW, sorry for the (9 month) delay lol. Oh and DB don't read too far- spoilers ahead lol.

I'm coming out of tha woodwork tonight to give a prediction for tha finale of tha hit tv show NURSE JACKIE.

Now before I get started, I'll bet a bunch of you don't really care and wish this was about something else. Well go eat some dirt. I don't really care lol.

1) ) Nurse Jackie has always been good at hooking up flashbacks to prior episodes. Tha finale is called "I say a Little Prayer." Some of you fans may remember that this song opened up Season 2 right after Jackie took all of those drugs and went on a family vacation to get away from Eddie. During the last ep of season 1 she takes a bunch of drugs and wonders if she is seeing things. During the opening ep of season 2 she keeps seeing Eddie too. The whole last season prior to tha finale she had a wreck of hallucinations while she was super high. (This is probably getting a little too Sopranos.)

2)  Besides last ep's revelation that she had clean UA's, I would've bet dollars that she had just been using tha whole last season. It is a little weird that in all prior seasons we knew when Jackie was using. And now they are just flirting with the idea by showing her putting some unnamed pill in her mouth. But I think tha hallucination confirms she is.

3) Long story short I think the cliffhanger from tha last ep (that showed Jackie popping pills and then seeing that one dude fly) clearly show that she has fallen off tha wagon.  Also, if anyone caught the one liner from tha end of the finale "Make me good God"(which she originally said during the pilot ep before you realized she had a family- "make me good God, but not today.") may signal that her time has come.

4) That being said- the last Showtime finale that tried to provide some closure took a big swing and a miss (see Dexter). However, I'm hoping they've come to their senses. At tha end of the day, I predict that Jackie takes an inordinate amount of painkillers and they try to revive her. (The ending makes sense- Jackie is obvi really self centered and if she can't be a nurse she could try to TKO herself- she wouldn't really care how this affected anyone else (i.e. how she has let her drugs go before everything else). Maybe to "make her good", she will try and get out of everyone's hair by TKO'ing herself.

I imagine the ep ends as they are trying to save her, so we will never know what happens.

Suspiria

1) I figured it was time to review Suspiria as it pops up on almost every top 10 horror films list.

2) I don't really get the infatuation with all of tha inside organs and flesh. I mean that one chick gets all of her ish cut open, then tha dog is going to town on that one guy's business. Pretty gross.

3) Also, some of it doesn't make much sense. Like the time the Tom Cruise look alike shows up outside that Lincoln Memorial look a like and gets mauled by that ugly looking Hutchy. The part about the doctor telling her to drink wine to built up her immune system is pretty tight tho. Dr. Buffalo approves lol.

4) Overall tho it was pretty spooky: it had that crazy Exorcist type music, was set in a foreign country (which makes uncle buff homesick and pretty spooked out), and had creepy ish popping out of rando spaces.

5) But I have to throw tha challenge flag in on tha ending of it. I mean- so it's a school ran by some witch? And tha witch dies just by getting stabbed in tha throat? Really for how overall scary and engaging tha movie is, this ill-informed short-sighted explanation was a real injustice.

Pretty solid tho,

B+

Freaks

1) I know this is considered a "classic", but the main reason I wanted to review it is Meadow's boyfriend in Season 3 of tha Sopranos says it's supposed to be an all time great horror movie. Unfortunately (and despite the 1 hour length of it), this movie is pretty boring. The only other carnival -esque horror movie that I am terribly familiar with is tha hit movie The Funhouse, which is running laps around this ish.

2) I mean, this isn't really a movie that is scary in terms of some rando members of the public being taken out at a circus. This is just some sideshow people picking on some turd people that work in other departments. How is anyone supposed to be spooked by that?

3) And how hard would it be to make this movie scary? As I'm sure some of you long time followers will remember- me, doggles, milhouse, and NPJ went to a haunted house one time our freshman year of college and some Darth Vader lookalike chased me out of tha haunted house for like 3 blocks through downtown KCMO. How hard would it have been for them to hone in on some rando civilian?

4) It befuddles me that this movie was so graphic and scary that it was banned and restricted in a bunch of places. Nothing to write home about here,

D

Sleepy Hollow

1) Tha weather is pretty tight during tha movie. I always wish Halloween had super creepy fog outside lol.

2) Two huge initial barriers that this movie didn't overcome. First it had Johnny Depp in it. For you long time fans you know he gives me tha willies. And as I mentioned before, these movies set back in tha day are pretty boring.

3) There were some other pretty stupid parts. Like, what is up with tha hole in tha tree that tha dude keeps all of the heads and jumps into at tha end of tha movie? And why is tha dude afraid of spiders? I mean there's some headless dude decapitating people? Aren't spiders tha least of your concern?

4) And tha ending is pretty bad. So tha guy bites off tha one girls face, jumps through tha tree, then it is peacefully snowing everywhere? SMH.

C-

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

1) I think the connections here between this and tha rest of the Paranormal movies is pretty difficult to grasp, even for a local expert like Uncle Buffalo.

2) Tha movie is hinted to at tha end of Paranormal Activity 4 with tha newspaper clippings they see near tha end of tha movie. I think the general gist is that all of tha crazy witch chicks out of Paranormal Activity 3 are the ones who come to "mark" (read: alan) these kids to get possessed and ultimately TKO'd by demons.

3) I think to get to that point you have to have time travel, which you can see when he runs through tha place in tha 3rd movie and somehow ends up back with tha girls from tha original Paranormal Activity. I've said before that time travel in horror movies is pretty jitsu, but it may make a little sense here since it could set up tha ability for future PN movies to come out without having to pay heed to any continuity in tha franchise.

4) All that being said it was pretty stupid. I think tha whole point of all these movies was to spook the hell out of you while it was all quiet by having something random jump out of nowhere. Almost all of this movie is trying to explain loose ends, which I guess is good if someone is paying super close attention. But I think the whole point of these movies is for people with ADD to be able to go and be scared without having to figure out a story line.

C-

Eraserhead

I don't even know where to begin.

1) So I tuned into this one because it is in the Criterion Collection. Now it makes me think that this is just a bunch of hipster movies that all tha cool kids think are really important and metaphysical (lol).

2) The first ten minutes is literally just flashing to this dude laying with his mouth open and some creature swimming around back to this deformed guy looking out the window. If you have to re-read that sentence to understand it all you are not alone.

3) And what was the plot? So he goes and gets convinced that he is tha father of his ladyfriend's mom's kid? And then the kid is actually some deformed creature who he starts having nightmares about and then starts TKO'ing tha thing? It doesn't make any sense. 

4) The loud, incessant, and irrelevant music really reminded me of tha turd movie Eyes Wide Shut. There's another movie that rivaled this one in the bad movies hall of fame. 

 How this got to the criterion collection is beyond comprehension.

F

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)

1) So I'm tuning into one of these "Classic" movies. For you new blog fans, these are older horror movies that sort of set tha foundation for tha horror genre. Despite my general disdain for old crappy movies, most of them that I have reviewed have decent grades. Not here.

2) Initially, I'm confused that there is no dialogue.  I'm LITERALLY rewinding it trying to figure out what is going on. Then it hits me: there is no dialogue. Oh great, another movie with subtitles. I fucking love these.....not.

3) I know I've been on my soapbox before, but back in the day, couldn't people just go check out picture books from the library? Or read comic strips? Literally this has to be disheartening for everyone involved: I mean, the actors are acting but having to pause so some dumbass on a typewriter can flash on the screen what they are thinking.

4) Besides all of that, the story doesn't make that much sense. If you think every person has an evil counterpart, why would you drink tha kool-aid in tha first place? Maybe if everyone had a muscular counterpart or something, but this is just non-sensical.

At least it had some good quotes. Oh wait no it didn't. smh

D

Red Dragon

1) Probably my favorite out of tha other two main Hannibal movies. Obvi it's the prequel to Silence of the Lambs and it's pretty tight when they show how Hannibal got caught and where they lead into Clarice meeting with him.

2) The movie had top notch suspense i.e. tha part where he doesn't actually shoot himself and Edward Norton gets that phone call that the Toothfairy is coming after his family. Really some top 10 ish. And it was spooky on top of that. The scenes where the family's eyes have all been taken out and pretty cray.

3) The whole part where Phillip Seymour Hoffman had to play a victim wasn't terribly fitting and seemed out of funk with tha rest of tha movie tho.

4) I remember tha debate camp got in trouble back in tha day after someone played this movie at movie night when it obvi wasn't pg-13 material lol.

Not much to complain about,

A-

Saw II

1) Pretty cray that I haven't reviewed almost any of tha Saw sequels. I mean, the first few of them have pretty good twists, but at the end of tha day, they are all pretty hard to review because the reviews would pretty much look the same.

2) For example-  it's always super tight when he says I WANT TO PLAY A GAME and ALL YOUR LIFE. But again (as I said I think for tha 3rd time on tha blog), I also just think these are tight when me and @enronnie yell them at each other.

3) This one was pretty good since Jigsaw was actually still alive in tha movie and wasn't having to haunt everyone from tha grave. It was also one that had good connections- I don't think anyone really saw that tha Amanda chick was going to want to play a game twice to set up that detective.

4) Speaking of freaky- every time I have to get my blood drawn I remember that scene where the chick is forced to dive into the needle pit and it gives me the willies just thinking about it.

Pretty solid for a sequel,

B

Finder's Keepers

1) This one was obvi appealing since it dealt with the one horror genre that scares the bejesus out of me: dolls. In fact, after sitting on it for a few weeks, I'm convinced that tha hit movie Annabelle is one of the most terrifying movies I've ever seen.

2) Unfortunately, this movie was pretty terrible. For those who can't tell by the budge picture, this was a SyFy original lol. You can't even really find a google image of a picture of tha movie.

3) In fact, this was so bad that I'm not even sure of why the doll was possessed, who it was possessed by, or how it managed to kill people. In all the scenes where someone gets TKO'd, you find them dead but it's a totally mystery how this 11 inch doll managed to pull it off. The beginning of the movie insinuates that the doll possesses the kid, and then the kid wrecks havoc but they jump ship off that idea 10 minutes into the movie.

4) None of it makes any sense. So somehow the doll and the little girl are voodoo doll connected? But taking out the doll's eyes is okay because somehow the girl's eyes are insulated from all of this?
And the ending makes even less sense. Somehow the guy who was originally possessed by the doll escapes and is now running around smiling? Who cares.

I guess it was better than some hipster movie,

D

The Craft

1) I noticed I don't have too many movies re: witches so I've been trying to go ham on some more of them lately.

2) Really a pretty top notch movie, especially in tha witch genre. Outcast girl moves to a new school, has witch powers, and connects with other witch classmates. Obvi one of them gets carried away with it and it becomes and internal good vs. evil witch battle. Also, I've obvi always been a fan of the college/teen based thrillers, so this was right up my alley.

3) The only drawback horror-wise was that all the snakes, bugs, rats, etc. gave me the willies and seemed pretty unnecessary to tha rest of the plot.

4) It had a pretty all-star 90s cast. Although to be fair, I was only paying half attention and really thought Alicia Silverstone played the lead character lol. Also, Bonnie, Ross's girlfriend from Season 3 of tha hit tv show Friends made an appearance.

Pretty good stuff,

B+