Ginger Snaps

1) It was actually pretty tight. I'm not a big werewolf movie fan nor some of the other inappropriate content in here but this was legit.

2) The whole obsession with death thing at the beginning was (obvi) pretty morbid. I don't know what the whole point of that was or why it really mattered with the rest of the movie. Maybe it just went a long with the depressing theme song during the first part of the movie, who knows.

3) I watched the trailer for the sequel; boy howdy does it look bad.

4) Ginger was the same girl that was in the hit movie Freddy v. Jason. I don't know why she's not in more movies.

Good stuff,

A-

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

1) This follow up story line was pretty stupid. I'm still not sure I even understand what actually happened. It's like they wake up in the morning and realize they did all this stupid shit the night before and have to figure out how it happened. Seemed like it was pretty similar in movie quality to Dude, Where's My Car?, which might be one of the single worst movies of all time.

2) FWIW the movie started out really tight. They all decide to go investigate all of the shenanigans of the original Blair Witch Project. I've always wanted to go camping up in Oregon to go hang out by all the places where the alien abductions went down. It still sounds tight but I just never realized how far away Oregon actually is.

3) The whole movie flashback part of this got really long and boring. It would have been a lot better if there was just 1 flashback of all this crazy stuff going down instead of these constant annoying brief flashbacks.

It was pretty bad,

D+

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

1) It's really tight. It seems like everyone really hated on this one but I thought it was a lot tighter than the first one. I think the additional RomCom quality they added to this one pushed it over the edge. I get that he's going after the chick in the first one, but it seems like it's a lot more of a central theme of this one.

2) That NSA agent always comes off across as a n00b in all the movies he's been in. Maybe it's from his early days at that jitsu daily show, but he's pretty bad in this and in Hot Tub Time Machine.

3) Kumar's lady friend is a babe and one of my celebrity crushes. She's not as good as she was in the award winning movie The Roommate but she's still pretty legit.

4) There's a bunch of tight scenes in it. The whole part with NPH is tight. The ending is also real money where he does the goofy math thing.

Definitely a top notch RomCom,

A

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet

1) Had to change the original picture, I guess the theater poster for this is pretty risque lol.

2) Danielle Harris from the Halloween 4/5 movies is in it. That might have been one of the only redeeming qualities of it lol. It was an okay teen thriller, but the end just got so boring.

3) The scissors kill at the beginning was very Danielle Harris esque. It was almost identical to the way Halloween 4 ends. However, all of the stupid blood that followed was not.

4) Maybe I'm getting old or something, but too many of these new horror movies that just love showing blood go everywhere are kinda stupid. I mean, I get that blood is scary and stuff, but it seems like everyone is just trying to find new ways to make it squirt out and go everywhere.

5) This movie had way too much blood, and way too little story. I'm not a Mary Hatchet expert or anything but theres all these spooky stories about her so the movie was a pretty big disappointment. I guess that makes sense given that I'm not even sure this movie was ever in theaters.

You could find better things to do on a Sunday morning,

C-

Piranha 3D

1) Only one way to describe this movie: SMH. Usually when I sign up for one of these dumb horror movies I get what I'm getting myself into. I didn't really think Sorority Row was gonna win any Academy Awards or anything, but it was what I thought it would be. I don't know what I really hoped for in this movie but dear god was it bad.

2) There's an earthquake that springs to life these piranhas and then they make there way to some spring break. That's really the whole movie. There's a brief interlude every 10 minutes of just showing some random Spring Break scene and then people get eaten. #smh

3) I guess the guest stars were unexpected- KP's old manager from Eastbound and Down was in it and the crazy doc from Back to the Future: 25th Anniversary Trilogy (+ Digital Copy) [Blu-ray], but besides that this one was one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

4) Smh at myself too for continually watching these 3D movies in 2D. Not that watching this in 3D would have made this movie any more bearable.

5) Actually there was nothing about this movie that was even kind of note worthy. There were 1400 previews, nothing actually happened and at 90 minutes it was still too long. It would be hard to add anything to this movie to make it worse. Maybe if that Peanut Butter Jelly Time song was on repeat the whole time. Besides that this was bottom of the pile.

F

Insidious

1) First movie since Poltergeist that really scared the bejesus out of me. There's the part where this shadowy dude is just standing outside of the bedroom. Reminded me of The Box where there's just some dude creepily hanging out the window. Actually now that I think about it this movie was a lot like the Box. It had a sick scary beginning but then turned into a turd.

2) The life size dolls and devil people freak me out too. This movie just had all kinds of scary shit going on in it. In the middle of the movie my door squeaked open too. Scary stuff.

3) The plot didn't make that much sense. They had to go to some psychic world to recover the kid from the fake coma? And the mystery dude pops up in the pictures? #smh

4) I think sometimes these movies would just be scarier if they didn't try to develop some stupid explanation for the chain of events. The Box would've been good, One Missed Call woulda been tight, too many movies to count. They shoulda just let the creepy shit go down for awhile. For all the stupid movies that don't really have a plot or ending (see Annie Hall or The Graduate), you think they could at least try to do this sometime with horror movies. Like the reason Halloween was so tight was because there was really no explanation/motive for him at first. And the reason this was so jitsu is because they tried to explain it.

In the end the scary parts more than made up for the jitsu,

B-

The Lincoln Lawyer

1) It's hard for me to watch too many law movies with all the law stuff I've learned. It's annoying to watch movies with people who always say the movie's inaccurate for some reason but ay ay. Obviously the one legal exception to this is Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - The Twelfth Year. That show is so money.

2) Matthew McConaughey is good but I think he's better at the RomComs. It's not like he was bad here, but maybe all the RomComs he's in are so tight that this seemed ho hum.

3) Kinda weak sauce that the mom comes after him at the end. And the parking ticket was the big revelation. #smh

4) It was kinda tight that the dude in jail was from Eastbound & Down: The Complete Second Season [Blu-ray]. Maybe that made it harder to think of this as some thrilling drama too lol.

C

Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes

Uhhhhhhhhh.

1) It's a pretty bad movie. They say all the "material" used for the film is real at the beginning and hasn't been doctored or anything but that's obviously not true when they switch to the sepia color film. Unless there were like 42 cameras available for this and hi-tech night vision cameras back in the day I'm calling shenanigans.

2) I was only half paying attention but it seems like it just kinda slow/drawn out. Then again I feel like this with a lot of movies.

3) FWIW, exorcism movies really freak me out. Hell, even back in the day Days of Our Lives really spooked me out. Marlena got possessed by the devil and I nearly had to quit watching the show.

4) You know how sometimes movies try to appeal to people by saying "from the directors of really good movie x"? I didn't realize that this one tried to appeal by saying it was the tapes that inspired The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I mean, don't get it twisted, that's a good movie and all, but trying to just appeal to the story? Eh.

5) And dear god was the ending bad. Was it just so low budge that they couldn't keep the feed going or was that cutting in and out supposed to be dramatic? #SMH

D-

Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror

1) Eva Mendes is in it, she's a babe.

2) Kids are a lot better at kicking ass this movie. I mean in that first one the dude obviously pwns like 35 of the kids at once. In the first scene of this movie the kids are just making it rain.

3) I'm not quite sure why they had to have 400 sub-plots. There's the goofy dude sitting in the house, that other guys sister like abandoned him, and the whole eva mendes trying to let that guy down. The whole thing was way too confusing for a traditional COTC movie.

4)The dudes head splitting in half at the end b/c the kids like got some weird superpowers was kinda stupid.

Pretty good, but it just dragged on and on even for such a short movie.

C-

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America

1) The plot is sick. The 2 dudes love their TV so goddamn much that they go on a quest throughout the country to find a new one. I fucking love TV and it's tight to see 2 soldiers joining me in the cause.

2) They also have the most immature humor in the world too and thats always super tight lol. #unit #wood #toolshed

3) The guy that does the voice for the agent is the old host of The Best of Unsolved Mysteries. That show is so tight, especially all of the ALIEN/UFO episodes.

4) For those of you out of the loop, B&B are coming back sometime in the fall. I guess it was originally scheduled for July but I hear rumors it's been scaled back further.

What a great movie,

A+

An American Werewolf in London

1)It was pretty good despite all the comedy attempts. Although I'm a big fan of the rom-com horror movies I have never been really wild about the comedy horror movies. All of the later Chucky movies were kind of n00b like that and I'm not terribly wild about the comedy parts of this one.

2) I did however enjoy the quasi love story going on between the wolfguy main character and the nurse. I don't know if the best way to TKO that at the end was to have him get shot but I guess I don't know how else they'd end it.

3) Kinda spooky that the dude's friend comes back to visit him after he gets mauled. Don't get it twisted, I miss DB being gone in BF Michigan and all, but man if he goes first I don't want him coming back to scare the shit out of me. Although it'd be kinda tight to kick it if we were both ghosts.

4) The dude's lady friend is Andy's mom from Child's Play 2 lol.

Solid stuff

B

My Bloody Valentine 3D

1) After watching part of this movie 4234 times and finally making it through it I'm convinced it's pretty legit. It touches all the bases of a sick horror movie and has some pretty good scary parts.

2) I really need to watch these movies in 3D. Kind of like when me and @enronnie watched The Final Destination [Blu-ray 3D], the movies look kinda stupid when they're made for 3D but turn into 2D format. Although there were some jumpy parts, there was some equally jitsu parts where you could tell what was about to happen given the screen formatting lol.

3) Maybe it's just because I just recently reviewed The Uninvited, but the whole "oh my god, I'm the actual killer" part at the end seemed kind of ho hum. I thought the end-end part where the killer put on the worker's clothes Michael Myers style was good though.

4) There were some goofy characters. That cop with the old guy at the end looked like she was 12, it must have been take your daughter to work day lol. And what were those dudes doing going down in the shaft at the end again? Did they miss the whole point of the movie?

Oh, and the killer's name is harry WARDEN lol.

B+

Dallas- Friday @ noon

What's good bw, coming at you from north texas lol. Supposedly within an hour of dallas. UPDATE: just got to denton. Have to #1. Need a drink too LOL.

Dallas

What's good blog world. As some of you might know already, I really don't like traveling, I really don't like big cities, and I really don't like Dallas.

Nonetheless, Me @lkcolt and @jordenwise are making moves down south this weekend to go to leg 2 of the Strikeforce Grandprix at that jitsu Cowboys stadium. Stay tuned for live updates starting @5:30 am as we take off. As much as I'm complaining about this, it should be a pretty tight weekend.

Red Riding Hood

Uhhhhhhhhhh

1) I've never been wild about the whole werewolf genre, but I didn't think this could go wrong with Amanda Seyfried in it. Boy howdy was I wrong.

2) It seemed like an odd mix of a bad made-for-tv mystery movie and some jitsu soap opera. You know how you watch a soap opera and everybody's sleeping with everyone, and then everyone's out to kill everyone? It was like that but with a wolf. First they found out that her future husband was actually her sister's half-brother (you can't make this stuff up), then her grandma's the wolf, then it's the mother, yadayadaya.

3) I know there's the whole folktale stuff about this, but really why would anyone wear the red hood? It's like a giant spotlight is on the chick the whole time alerting the woof every time she makes moves across the town. I'm no literary buff, but this seems kinda jitsu.

4) I'm also unsure how this was scary at all. Every time the wolf pops out he's talking through this stupid mask. Also why don't they just stay inside? I know the houses aren't tornado proof or anything but I'll bet they can keep the wolf out.

D+

No Strings Attached

1) The music was tight at the beginning. Big shout out to SHAKE YA TAILFEATHER. Any reference to Bad Boys II (Widescreen Edition) automatically bumps a movie's rating up a few notches.

2) The whole part where he's talking to the girls about their biological functions is pretty gross.

3) The movie was pretty long and ho hum in the middle. But FWIW Ashton Kutcher has some way of having tight romcom movie endings. The beach in What Happens in Vegas, obvi A Lot Like Love, Just Married, and now this are all money. The last like 10 seconds where they decide to go big or go home really makes up for most of the movie's mediocrity.

B-

Wes Craven's New Nightmare

Getting in a quick blog post after a busy day LOL

1) This was a pretty spooky movie for the first hour. The spooky part about the movie thats about a movie is that it could happen in real life. It's why Chucky is so spooky: BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS HE'S NOT REAL.

2) It's also scary because the kid from Pet Sematary and Kindergarten Cop is pretty spooky. Then again I think most little kids in scary movies are generally terrifying so maybe it's just me.

3) The problem with this movie is it goes wrong where the rest of the Nightmare on Elm Street sequels go wrong (which I haven't reviewed yet lol): after the first 30 minutes. Don't get it twisted, there's a bunch of Nightmare movies that are definitely top 25, but for a lot of the sequels they just get jitsu when Freddy's world gets introduced. I mean, come on, Freddy's tongue is really a weapon in this one? And what was up the stupid earthquakes the whole time? Freddy can't really have that much power over tectonic plate shifts can he?

In the end it's lightyears ahead of some of the sequels, but still well behind the rest.

C-

The Graduate

1) It looks like the dude is looking out of a Michael Myers mask at the beginning of the movie when the dude keeps jumping in the pool. I have an blog post in the works that talks about all the Michael Myers look a likes. It'll be tight.

2) Alan kept talking about the water symbolism but I don't get it. It's like he's confused whenever he sees the water? I dunno.

3) I never figured out that the ending was famous, I had just seen it in Wayne's World. This ending was pretty stupid. They decide to leave the wedding to go away together and then have that 'oh shit' look when they realize they don't know what they're doing. Reason 4232 not to make any impromptu marriage decisions lol.

4) Oh and Wayne's World runs laps around this movie.

D

The Hangover: Part 2

1) I'm really torn about the movie. It went from being really funny to me getting ADD in the middle of it. I'm not sure how long it was but it seemed like there were parts where I was just waiting for them to yell that they figured out where the kid was.

2) There were some really tight parts. The whole silent monk thing was good and so was the IHOP/dentist bit.

3) I think they were trying to overdo zach galifinabalabbalsosfh. There were too many scenes that just honed in on his face. I never got why zooming in on someones face was LOL.

4) It was still pretty solid. I think the biggest problem for this was just that it had to follow The Hangover which was so good. It's not that this movie was bad, it was just lightyears behind the original.

Worth a trip to the movies,

B

The Uninvited (2009)

1) Top notch stuff. I thought the twist at the end was money but I always forget that The Sixth Sense [Blu-ray] already rolled this out years before lol.

2) I don't really understand the whole mental patient thing. I get that she's just imagining the sister there and stuff but what was up with the Mildred thing? She thought the stepmom was named that but it was just the chick who lived next to her in the hospital? I guess I missed why that was so significant.

3) Some parts don't make a whole lot of sense. I don't get the little red haired girl that keeps popping up since the stepmom never actually killed anyone.

4) The rest of my thoughts are escaping me now. I'm really hungry and kinda dehydrated lol.

Scream 4

1) It was light years ahead of Scream 3 [Blu-ray], and maybe even close to the original Scream, but nothing too wild.

2) As you all might know, I was kind of hoping that they'd totally start anew with the cast (circa January of this year), but it was still good for the most part. I wasn't wild about Macaulay Culkin's little brother being the killer since he's not very scary, but the new cast was good. The looker from I Love You, Beth Cooper was also in it which was top notch.

3) I got ADD in the middle of the movie, but the opening scene about the movie within a movie was really tight, and so was the last scene at the hospital. "DON'T F*** WITH THE ORIGINAL".

Despite it's length, it was pretty money.

B+

Taylor Swift Story of Us

WGBW, I promise to be back soon, been working too much lately lol.

1) Not much to say about the new video, it's just tight. They released it right off the heels of Mean, but it's super tight to have just a wreck of tswift videos being rattled off in a row.

2) As I predicted back in the day I think this song's only got up to go and this video bolsters that.

3) She's a babe in this video. I think the dirty blonde hair is legit.

4) I am kinda confused by the ending of the video. I guess listening to the song gave me the impression that her and this dude are still estranged at the end and this video hints at it but in a weird way. I guess I'll just leave it to the imagination lol.

A+

**Edit- Forgot to attach the video lol, here it is :)

Law & Order SVU: Season 12

1) What the hell happened to Munch? Even when he was in an episode he was only there for a few seconds. He's probably my least favorite, but he's money in his supporting roles and I'm not sure why they put him on the backburner so much.

2) I won't spoil the finale for some n00bs (@imbricker), but it wasn't anywhere near the great ep that Season 9 was, and not even close to 10, but still good. They're running out of people to kill off though lol.

3) I'm also confused by the repeat disappearance of ADA Novak. If she got rehired again I dunno why she takes off. Don't get it twisted, the new ADA is tight but Novak was tight. They should've at least explained the disappearance.

4) The "Bully" episode was tight. As a random aside that Season 5 ep "Mean" has the same sick title as the new TSwift Video. #yeahbuddy

**edited for n00bery lol

Friday the 13th Part 3

1) This movie is also available in 3D and its tight. I really like 3D but the problem I have with it is the same problem I have with horror movies that are too scary: they freak me out. There's a scene where this pole looks like it's gonna hit you in the face and Jason shoots a spear gun at the camera. Spooky stuff.

2) It's tight he finally gets the hockey mask in this movie.

3) Alright BW, I also figured out that mystery from last night about the old dude. Abel is the name of this old dude and not Ralph. Sorry for the n00bery on my part BW, that was a rookie mistake.

4) I'm not terribly wild about the first few movies all having the samesque ending where the remaining survivor has something crazy happen to them only to wake up in the hospital. I'm glad they finally get over that in the last movies.

I've seen it almost too many times,

B

Fright Night Trailer

Dear god it looks tight

Friday the 13th Part 2

Today's FRIDAY THE 13TH!

1) Quite a bit better than the first one. Mostly due to the fact that Jason's moms not the killer anymore.

2) It's still a little jitsu. I don't know why Jason didn't find his hockey mask yet. The white bag over his head was a little goofy.

3) The ending was pretty good. Putting the mom's sweater on was a clutch move by that chick to TKO Jason.

4) I'm confused by the crazy guy dying during the beginning of the movie. For some reason I thought that he was around for Jason Takes Manhattan but I'll have to investigate that further.

Top notch stuff,

A+

American Beauty

Watched this with @markster. I think I'll take a hiatus from suggestions from him after Inception and Annie Hall both flopped. This was the nail in the coffin lol.

1) I don't get all the artsy fartsy stuff. The stupid paper bag flying around was goofy, and I don't get what was up with the dude imagining all the roses everywhere. I didn't major in art history or anything but I don't get all the weird shit like that in the movie.

2) Why was everyone so sad? He's sad that his marriage blows, the wife's sad with him, and the teen daughter is angry. I get that, but there's not a single cheerful person in the movie. The Colonel (lol) is angry all the time, the colonel's son doesn't smile at all, even the dude the wife is sleeping with is complaining all the time. Even the girl from the American Pie (Unrated) movies got all sad at the end. I don't need any Disney themed movies or anything, but just something a little cheerful :)

3) I'm not even sure what the point of the movie was. Was it just that the guy's life sucked but then he was happy after almost making moves with his daughters friend? Those last few lines of the movie seem way to happy to fit with this emo-ness.

4) The only good parts of the movie were when Kevin Spacey just made fun of everyone. Oh, and that the dude calls himself THE COLONEL.

5) The only other good thing that came out of this movie was finding out that the American Pie girl is gonna be in this sick movie called LAST STOP (you can see the trailer here) that looks super tight.

D-

Children of the Corn (2009)

WGBW, rounding down some studying for the night. Thought I'd throw a review of this gem of a movie I just watched.

1) Like most of the remakes it was ho-hum. The remake of Halloween did it's elders justice but this one wasn't great.

2) How goofy is the little dude that is supposed to be in charge of the cult? He was kinda stupid in the first one but this is just jitsu. In the scene where they surround the girl and he signals for the kill, he looks like one of those tee-ball kids who gives out base stealing signs. Also, I'm pretty sure he's one of the kids on Dexter: The Second Season.

3) It also seemed like the couple just kept fighting and fighting the whole first part of the movie. If someone was nagging at me during a road trip through rural Nebraska I might've pulled the car over too.

4) For you Friends fans out there, do you remember the episode with the home study? (You can see the relevant clip here) Joey develops the code word BERT for danger. There's a clip in this movie (which you can see here at the 6:49 mark) that shows her yelling BERT the same way Joey does LOL (you can also see that goofy signaling the kid does there too).

Nothing to write home about, but I wouldn't change the channel

C+

The Hitcher (1986)

WGBW, sorry in the middle of finals, will make this up soon. Anywho, today's movie is THE HITCHER.

1) The first part of this movie was so tight. Guy picks up another dude, then the dude starts going crazy. Kind of reminds me of the first part of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But the same jitsu that plagued that movie seemed to plague this one.

2) How many different times did the kid manage to lose the psycho but then accidentally run into him again? Having driven on a who's who list of barren country roads I can tell you that the odds of this are slim to none.

3) As if it wasn't bad enough that he kept running into him, he kept just prolonging the movie. Dear god did it take forever to get over with.

C-

One Missed Call

1) It was worse than I remember. A bunch of really bad scary movies start out really tight and then go south quickly. Add this one to the list.

2) There was a whole bunch of dumb stuff. The people that die have a candy in their mouth, and theres these hodgepodge of little girls that somehow either are responsible for people dying or protect them. It doesn't make any sense.

3) I'm kind of confused how the plot is that much different from The Ring (Widescreen Edition). You get a call, you die, theres just no scary little girl in this one.

4) After some investigation by Markster I learned this movie has a 0% on rotten tomatoes lol.

5) For as bad as it was, it's hard for the teen thriller stuff to go too to bad for me,

D+

The Leprechaun

Wgbw. Dear god was this a bad one.

1) I dunno how anyone thought this guy was scary. I know I've obvi gotten a lot of slack for being afraid of Chucky, but this guy is past the point of jitsu. In the first 2 Child's Play movies, Chucky was made out to be scary. I'm not sure that anyone is trying to make the Leprechaun scary here.

2) How did Jennifer Aniston get her big break into Friends here?

3) They killed the leprechaun by shooting him with a wad of gum with a four leaf clover on it. Am I missing something? I thought the four leaf clover was lucky.

4) And how goofy is the Leprechaun's reason for trying to get everybody, I mean he wants all of his gold. I don't think there's ever been another scary movie where the killer just wants his gold coins.

Ahyaya,

D+