Fracture

1) Obvi this movie appeals to me because of my love 4 tha law. Other movie thrillers (A Few Good Men and My Cousin Vinny) are tight like this.

2) This movie had pretty solid plot twists too. That one guy gii with the victim was pretty cray at trial. And I could never figure out what happened to the gun until the end. I did manage to figure out that double jeopardy thing tho lol.

3) Speaking of the ending, when you think about it, it’s kinda irresponsible by the DA. I mean, the first confession gets thrown out b/c that one guy is biased b/c he was gii with the girl. Then they have the DA who violates the restraining order and stalks the guy go take his second confession and leaves disinterested police officers outside. In the new trial the judge would be like SMDH, didn’t you do this last time? Why would you take the confession? You gonna testify smh?

4) That law firm girl tho. She was OTC! Aye!!

A-

Camp Hell

1) Uhhhhhhhhh. I should've known that this would be a budge movie after seeing the 9% on rotten tomatoes beforehand. Then again, many a prior movie has gotten mediocre rankings but been a Criterion Collection worthy movie.

2) Well, not this one. "Inspired by true events?" Well what was? Some kid going to Christian camp then leaving it after figuring out that he wasn't tuning into the whole religion thing? I'm awestruck that such events have ever happened. I kept thinking that something cray would happen but it never did. I mean, I guess the devil does jump out at the priest, but I'm not sure that this movie really re-invented the wheel on that one. 

3) The dude on the movie cover from that horrible fbook movie is actually in the movie for like 15 seconds. How they managed to put his face on the cover of the movie when he just has a cameo role is beyond me.

4) And smh for that Shea girl from Buckwild not popping up in it. (Hopefully getting over that whole Shea thing before too long lol).

It was just so uneventful,

D

Buckwild

1) Wgbw. I know I usually don't review too many tv shows, but this one was OTC. Talk about walking into greatness.

2) As many of you hardcore blog fans already know, I obvi have love for rural country living so this show was pretty appealing to me. I'm really getting gungho about moving to rural Texas in the near future so Imma be tunin into this. I get this is in West Virginia, but whatever. Speaking of West Virginia, remember that time all those n00bs from KState got "welcome to huggieville" shirts? LOL.

3) That Shae girl >>>>>>>>>

It's like Jersey Shore only it doesn't suck lol,

A

Mama

This movie was OTC

1) It was light years ahead of the Paranormal movies in terms of scary shit popping out at you. Even when you knew something was about to happen it would still scare the bejesus out of you. It's also a movie I would think about putting into 3D just given how many times MAMA jumps out at tha screen.

2) It was also pretty spooky given how creepy the youngest girl kept acting. I've blogged before about why little kids creep the hell out of me. Maybe it's my fear of fatherhood lol.

3) All that being said I really wish they wouldn't have tried to explain a back story about why Mama was after them. It has a bunch of loopholes. Like why at the beginning of the movie did the dad try to kill the little girls? And why did he murder his wife? What did that have to do with Mama? And the ending was kind of jitsu when Mama just settled on jumping off tha cliff with the scary little girl. And why was the little girl eating all those bugs the whole time?

4) Random aside: I think I would've enjoyed the movie more sans all of the millions of rowdy juveniles that clog up PG-13 movies on a Friday night. It was like watching The Roommate on steroids.

 Solid stuff. I'll be adding this to the blu-ray collection. MAMA!

A

Road Trip

Wgbw,

1) This was a staple of my movie collection back in my late high school days. We probably watched it a hundred times in Toromir's basement with tha colonel. Now it makes me a little reminiscent of my college days just b/c I'm (sort of) an adult now lol. It's not like we ever took any roadtrips (except that horrible one to Wichita and that one to Oregon that never panned out), but nonetheless this movie would be Buff's Criterion Collection for historical reasons.

2) It did spawn some great movie quotes. "Austin? Austin, Massachusetts?" "Did you kill a cheetah?" "I had sex last night. With a girl." "If you had a copy we could watch the copy." The window of opportunity is getting smaller by the day LOL.

3) This is one of those movies that would be solved by modern day tech problems. You wouldn't have to send your lf a VHS tape you could probably just skype or something. And you'd probably have a cell phone so you wouldn't get lost in the woods or cutoff from the rest of civilization.

4) Although I will say, it is accurate in that you could probably learn Western Civ in one night. Cramming without actually learning anything succinctly describes this one guy I knows entire undergraduate career lol.

A-

ATM

1) I was pretty pumped for this movie because it's named after one of my heroic friends Andrew "Thursday" MacDonald (whose blog you can check out here). Nevertheless, it didn't turn out to be as wild as the real life ATM.

2) FWIW the girl is the real good looker from She's Out of My League. She's still pretty solid in this movie, although it was kinda lame that they killed her off by having her fall off the main dude's shoulders. I guess it wasn't that unexpected tho that she died that way. I mean, 90% of the movie takes place in an ATM. I guess they had to die some clever way since the hooded bad guy never really makes moves inside of it.

3) I know it's a common theme in these horror movies, but some common sense would have been a life saver here. Why doesn't he just drop his drunk friend off at home and have him order food instead? Why leave all your phones in the car outside the ATM? Why go to an ATM with a spooky guy outside of it? Why not just run away from the ATM in the other direction? For them working at this top notch firm, they really didn't think outside of the box (or ATM LOL) very well.

4) Clearly not as good as other movies that take place in enclosed spaces lol.

C+

New Year's Eve

1) It's weird I coulda swore I already reviewed the movie Valentine's Day, but this is like the less than great sequel to it. NYE is almost always overrated and this movie was kind of in never ever land. I'm obvi not wild about NY (except for Ronnie lol), so I don't really know how things go down there, but it seems pretty dumb to go all nutzo over a ball dropping.

2) Ashton Kutcher's character is real tight. I think I share his contempt for most of the holidays so it was tight when he just ripped down all of those holiday decorations lol.

3) The cast was all pretty cray. I'm not wild about Sarah Jessica Parker playing mom in all these new movies. But how tight was it when Jon Bon Jovi was a main character? He should make it rain in more movies.

4) It wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. All the sub plots were pretty good and they didn't make the audience connect too many dots figuring out how everyone was connected to everyone else. 

5) The ending was pretty goofy. I don't know why a narrator just pops in talking about hope smh.

C

Les Miserables

I don't know where to begin blog world. Actually, I know I'll get some hoola for tuning into this but at least it was better than the Dirty Projectors lol.

1) What on earth was going on with the casting in this one? Bruno was singing a bunch, Russell Crowe shouldn't have been singing, and I wish Amanda Seyfried would stay in RomComs and horror movies.

2) All of the singing parts were pretty smdh. The whole movie is one giant continuous song. How would you buy the soundtrack on this one and how does Alan know it?  And there was just a wreck of songs where 4 people are singing at once but none of them are singing the same thing. It's like some bad group therapy session where everyone sees who can yell the loudest.

3) The scenes were also pretty random.  It starts off with that prisoner guy then audibles to that girl who gets sad whose kid is missing. And then they audible to the French Revolution? As I've mentioned before, I'm no history major, but what was the point of including that? It's like they just lose, everyone gets sad, but then they sing about it at the end?

4) FWIW all the bw should take this with a grain of salt because I think I was lost most of the movie. When the movie got over I hadn't realized that Anne Hathaway's character had died mid-film. At the end when she walks out to grab the prisoner guy I couldn't figure out for the life of me why people were crying. They should have a subtitle that references that it's supposed to be heaven lol.

Kinda miserable lol. Get it?

C-

Case 39

Been awhile since I've seen this one and been awhile since I've blogged about a horror movie lol.

1) Striking resemblance to The Orphan. It's like the middle class social advocate who wants to help someone out who eventually gets hoisted on their own petard. Wikipedia tells me that the girl from the Orphan was actually considered for the part of Lillith. And that ending too- both girls end up drowning while the lead character swims away.

2) It also reminded me a lot of The Butterfly Effect in the sense that the main character knows someone crazy who they later discover was right about all of the shenanigans the whole movie and not actually crazy. Only at the end of this movie she just gets to go back to reality which is kinda cray given that she burnt down her house, ran off a bridge, and generally was outta control.

3) It was pretty spooky but I thought the ending kinda dragged on for a little too long. Like, we get that she figures out that the girl is the antichrist but then it takes her forever to finally get some resolution to the whole thing. I don't really know how you resolve having custody of the antichrist, but it seemed like she coulda done it quicker.

4) Pretty spooky that this girl was the little girl from Cabin in the Woods.

B-