The Wave

1) SMDH. Alan thought watching this would be a good idea and I told him it wouldn't be good. Turns out Nastradamus Buffalo was correct.

2) It's in German. I never understood how you are supposed to watch a movie with subtitles in it. It's like you're reading a book instead of watching the movie. I didn't want to read a book. And I'm no German major, but I'm pretty sure they kept not speaking German a bunch of the time.

3) Some other things I really enjoyed about the movie (in no particular order):
a) Political activism
b) Water polo
c) The cool music by the Ramones
d) Soccer
e) The subtitles
f) All the scenes where there were heights
g) Getting excited about traveling to Europe

4) I dunno why the teacher really gets in trouble at the end of the movie. And it was too predictable that the one kid would just go crazy.

Uhhhhh,

D-

Top 10 Friends XMas Episodes 2-1

#2) The One with the Girl from Poughkeepsie- Season 4

This episode isn't very good but it does have this sick song that Phoebe sings at the end that makes it so tight.

1) The One with the Holiday Armadillo- Season 7

This episode is the tightest all around (obvi). The whole holiday armadillo thing is tight. The part where Chandler hands the money to Ben and drops it is so funny. And obvi when Joey shows up in the Superman outfit its sick. Good stuff.

Top 10 Friends XMas Episodes 5-3

5) The One with the Christmas in Tulsa- Season 9

This episode is pretty solid all around, but is probably not as high as it could be because a majority of the episode is just flashing back to all the other tight Xmas episodes. I guess that you could make an argument that this should bump up this episode since it incorporates all the other ones, but that seems kind of unoriginal.

The babe who tries to get on Chandler (Selma Blair) is super good looking. I'm not a big fan of short hair but she's good at pulling it off.

The part where Chandler gives them all gifts notifying them of a gift to the orchestra is tight lol.

4) The One with the Inappropriate Sister - Season 5

Overall this episode is pretty stupid but a few small (non Christmas related parts) make this episode rule.

The part where Phoebe is just ringing the bell is pretty boring. I always get this catholic guilt whenever I walk by any of those people at the store and usually end up giving them money. My only problem with it is I wish they had like a sticker to give you showing you already have Christmas generosity lol.

The part where Danny keeps going to town with his sister is pretty weird. And Rachel's love life in this season is pretty goofy all around.

One tight part that saved this is when Ross and Joey prank call Chandler at the beginning. That part is too funny. The part where Joey writes the both of the scripts is one of the tightest parts of the whole series. And they invent FIREBALL.

3) The One With Phoebe's Dad- Season 2

This one doesn't have any super great individual parts. But the whole episode is pretty solid all around.

Phoebe trying to figure out her whole family life never made that much sense to me. I mean, Chandler does it in like 2 episodes. The producers never really try to make her attempts to reconnect with her family sad at all, so it just kind of drags the whole thing out for no reason.

Joey and Chandler delaying their Christmas shopping till the last minute is pretty tight- I've only bought like 2 presents so far lol.

And the party without the radiator is pretty solid.

Top 10 Reasons Halloween is Better Than Christmas

Wgbw, just a brief intermission from the Friends countdown. Sorry for the delays too but just a wreck of jitsu lately (besides when I've been watching all these movies LOL.) Anywho, here are the top 10 reasons that Halloween is better than Xmas.

10) Stores aren't closed on Halloween. Ever tried to go do something on Christmas just to get out of the house? You can't because most stuff is closed. This is a double whammy because usually the night before shit is closed too.

9) Nobody reminds you it's halloween the whole week of halloween. I've heard people wishing merry christmas for like 3 weeks now.

8) Why do you have to go home? I love my family more than anything, but these times where it feels like its mandatory hangout time are weird to me. Why don't we at least celebrate Christmas in July so nobody's car gets stuck on the road.

7) The commercials on TV blow. Why are there no halloween commercials during halloween? If I see one more jewelry commercial during the next few days I'm going to go crazy.

6) The bars are packed on Halloween. The bars are not packed on Christmas.

5) The whole Christmas dinner/lunch thing is just like a junior varsity version of Thanksgiving. It's mediocre food that's not near as good as just eating halloween candy the whole day.

4) Maybe it's my general indifference to feel good movies but Halloween movies just run laps around Christmas movies.

3) It's too cold outside on Christmas. At least on Halloween its fall weather that's really tight. Everyone actually gets excited about it snowing on Christmas, but it never does.

2) Environmental reasons. Everyone has to drive/fly home on Christmas, that must emit just a wreck of GHGs into the atmosphere. At least on Halloween kids get exercise and walk everywhere.

1) The Christmas hangover is bad too. Just when you get so excited Christmas is over, then everyone is packing into stores trying to return stuff and traffic gets crazy. It's like the holiday that keeps on giving

Bah humbug

Top 10 (8) Friends XMas Episodes

What's good bw, I remember counting down the top 10 Friends Thanksgiving episodes last year and thought I'd do the same with Christmas.

For those of you that might not know (shame on you), Friends only went 10 seasons so it only makes sense to do a countdown with the top 10.

Unfortunately, Season 1 and 10 don't have a Christmas episode, as the writers tended to focus more on Thanksgiving and (somehow forgot about HALLOWEEN) tended not to put as much effort into Christmas.

That being said here's the top 8-

8) The One With the Routine- Season 6

In all reality this one is pretty boring. It's kind of funny when Joey pours water on that guys pants and stuff but the Ross/Monica dancing was pretty smdh. The rest of the time they just look for the presents that Monica has hidden somewhere but even thats boring.

Part of my problem with this episode is I really think Chandler kind of tanks seasons 5-7 and he's really pretty ho-hum in this one.

I guess the part where Janine and Joey finally kiss is pretty tight too. Too bad they cut her off of the show.

7) The One Where Rachel Quits- Season 3

This is the one where Joey has convinced Rachel to quit her job at Central Perk. Ross breaks a girl scout's leg and has to sell her cookies for her. The only real XMas part of it is that Joey works selling Christmas trees and they eventually make Phoebe less sad about it by buying all of the dead trees for her.

There's also really nothing much to this episode. It only gets a nod above the last one because Chandler's still tight in this season. The line about a Muppet getting TKO'd is also pretty funny and is enough of a tiebreaker to boost this to 7.

Tomorrow I'll do 6-4!

Love Actually

1) I hate Christmas movies but this one's good.

2) The love triangle thing was really crazy/tight and unexpected. The scene where the dude goes back to the restaurant to speak the other language to that chick was super identical to the ending to the You Belong With Me video that TSwift did. Good stuff.

3) I get that it's real life and stuff, but the depressing endings to some of the stories always make me smh a little bit. The part where the mom is still kinda on the rocks with her husband for the secretary thing was pretty sad lol.

4) The only bad part is this movie has put up my expectations for all these other holiday romcom's that have 400 famous people in them. Valentine's Day was pretty mediocre and Roger Ebert said that people must have done crimes to deserve the punishment of being forced to act in that new movie New Year's Eve (it still looks okay though lol). Oh and the music during the movie isn't very good.

5) Last but not least, Elisha Cuthbert is a babe.

A-

Harry and the Hendersons

Whats good blog world. The last co-blog entry was wildly successful. Today me and @amacthursday are laying around all day so we're going to review some movies. Anywho, here's what I thought about our first feature: HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS.

1) Seems like Harry has a pretty big drug problem. He's running around huffing that thing of air when he first gets in the house. A drugged up Big Foot just seems like a bad idea.

2) Kind of messed up when the dad from 3rd rock from the sun just decks Harry. I mean, the whole movie Harry always seems so fun-loving I don't think he really deserved this giant punch from the guy. FWIW I caught up on Dexter the other day and Dexter goes after this dude in a totally unrelated show.

3) Big foot is pretty tight. I've never been wild about these family/kids movies but I am real into all those mysteries about Bigfoot/UFOs/crazy stuff in the Pacific Northwest. I still want to go camping in Oregon, but I think the rest of the roommates have thrown in the towel on that idea.

4) It's kind of tight when the kid is reading the book and just announces that reading sucks lol.

Surprisingly good for how much I don't like family movies,

C+

1. In antiquity, philoposhers such as Aristotle posited a “state of nature” in which man was stripped of all civilizing influences and his true essense could be observed. The European discovery of the Americas and the flowering of philosophy in the 17th and 18th centuries reinvigorated the debate about human nature. Many early novelists created characters inspired by native americans-these characters served to contrast European decadence with the simpler, more virtuous lives that the novelists imagined native americans led. I see Harry and the Hendersons as a cinematic manifestation of this long-standing “noble savage” motif. In the film, Harry’s intimidating looks belie his peaceful and simple nature. Much like the noble savages in early novels, Harry is an idealized version of a human. The film was released in 1987, so it seem reasonable that the filmmakers meant for Harry to be a “noble savage” like contrast to the “greed is good” ethos of the 1980s.

2. In the American imagination, the frontier represents hope, optimism, and a touch of danger. Harry’s home in the Sierra wilderness epitomizes our projection of the frontier. SPOILER ALERT! When Harry returns home at the end of the movie, we see a bigfoot family frolicking in the forest, yet we also know that cougars and bears haunt those woods.

3. Bigfoot getting milk from the fridge in the middle of the night is sometimes how I feel when I wake up in the middle of the night w/ heartburn.

4. Its tight when harry eats the girls flower.

5. The neighbor wears a cool sweater with ice cream cones on it.

6. When Harry gets a make-over, its kinda like beauty and the beast when the beast gets ready for a date. Its also a bit like when @alison cuts my hair lol.

B

Cape Fear

Sorry for the delays the last few days, was just a bunch of jitsu going on.

1) Pretty tight movie overall. I kinda like the legal thriller genre of movies and this one was pretty tight. It was a good evidence refresher too when they had that mock trial at the end lol.

2) The ending got a little long/jitsu. I mean, the guy came back from being TKO'd like a dozen times and then just eventually got trapped in the sunken ship? I think it woulda been tighter if they just eventually arrested him or something. Could've set up a tight sequel lol.

3) For some guy that couldn't read before he went to jail, Robert De Niro really learned up a storm during his time in the correctional facility. And dear god could he just put a whooping on people when he got out of there.

4) Crazy that young Juliette Lewis was in this movie.

Good stuff,

B

Edward Scissorhands - Guest Blog Post

What's good blog world. Got a special feature post tonight. Me, Alan, and Ben all reviewed EDWARD SCISSORHANDS. 3 great minds will review this romantic/christmas/horror/drama lol. Our grades are attached and I'm still kind of a n00b in formatting stuff. (FYI Ben was the only one photogenic enough to have a picture). Hopefully we can do more of this in the future. Without further ado...

WGBW, its ya boy @markster with my review of Edward Scissorhands

1) It’s a pretty interesting look at how suburbia responds to the other. Edward is initially embraced by the community, but his difference causes them to ultimately reject him. I think it’s a good metaphor for 9/11

2) The use of colors is pretty tight overall. Its sick how despite all the bright colors, its all the same, its really hard to tell the difference between people and houses. Edward sticks out so much because he is in all black, which is normally for jitsu people, but hes a baller

3) WTF is Kevin doing trying to fight Edward at the end of the movie? He needs to be cybhb and gtfo of the way from the human slicing machine. And what was up with the chick putting Edward in the soggy bread? That’s just a recipe for maximum jitsu.

4) Captain Queen Sparrow is pretty legit in this movie, but its hard to top him in Cry-Baby

5) Who the hell was the old bitch at the end of the movie? What was even the point? (these were actual buff thoughts)

6) Top @ajhawk quote during the movie: “So what, is he the weather man
now? He can just make it rain whenever he wants?”

Overall, it was a fun quirky movie

B

WGBF, AJ's thoughts on the movie

1) The movie doesn’t make much sense. There’s like this dark castle in this all pastel town that some dude with scissor hands lives? You think it would drive down the property values or something. The end of the movie also doesn’t make any sense. He makes it snow? How did he start making it snow? And she says that “sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it”? What is that about? How can he still be alive after 90 years? And why is this old lady telling this spooky story to this little girl? She’s just gonna scare the hell out of her before she goes to bed lol.

2) The puny guy from Sixteen Candles/Breakfast Club was really the bad guy? LOL. What a bad casting choice, why didn’t they make it somebody badass like Emilio Estevez? And why would he try to fight someone with fucking claws attached to him? Did he really think he was going to win this?

3) There were some good parts. Edward says he knew it was JIMS HOUSE (you can see him say JIMS HOUSE here at the 40 second mark). That one neighbor lady was a judge on the hit tv show Friends. They have a foldout couch which was tight too.

4) In the end there are just too many questions: Why is it so colorful everywhere? Why did the old guy put scissors on him? Why isn’t there a TV by the foldout couch?

D

Professor Ben's Review

1. This is a pretty solid flick. It definitely holds up over time. That being said, there are a few problems with it.

a. The “old person” make-up they use to make Wynonna Rider look like an old lady at the beginning and end is pretty bad. Maybe it was impressive back then, but it’s fairly ridiculous by our standards.

b. Edward is dressed like Trent Reznor the whole time. Even when he wears real people clothes, he’s got this leather zipper and buckle thing on under. Look at his hands, he’s obviously not showering at any point ever.

c. Speaking of things you can’t do if you had scissors for hands… I’m just saying it’s something to think about. It makes me suspect that this movie was thought up in one of those “would you rather” road-trip games. Like “would you rather have scissors for hands or wheels for feet?” I’d probably take scissors b/c I’m not coordinated enough to get around on wheel-feet.

2. Probably the best part is those hilarious haircuts he gives to all the desperate housewives ladies.

3. I think, first and foremost, this is a movie about the dangers of homeschooling. You really need a chance to socialize with the masses otherwise you’re going to end up weird like Edward. And how did that end? Not well. So not well, I think the wife even squeezed out a tear or two.

4. It’s pretty cool to see Johnny Depp before he did all those jitsu pirates of the Caribbean movies. He does some solid work here. Ever since Depp played Hunter S. Thompson in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas he’s basically done some version of that character in every movie. It’s nice to see some early work.

5. All in all a festive Christmas movie for the whole family.

B

Fright Night (2011)

1) Not as good as the original Fright Night but it was still pretty solid.

2) Couple of things I never realized about vampires. I didn't realize that you have to have invited them into your house before they are allowed in. Pretty crazy. I also didn't realize that some of the n00bs that get turned into vampires don't immediately make it rain on you (like the blonde strip club chick).

3) I kind of wish both this and the original would've left out the whole part about them hunting down the vampire expert guy. He only added a bunch of irrelevant side mumbo jumbo to both movies.

4) Did anyone catch Lisa Loeb's appearance in this movie? She had that tight mid-nineties song called Stay that was super tight. Kinda crazy she just popped into this movie after being off the grid for awhile.

Good stuff, but not near the original

B+

Santa's Slay

1) It was pretty stupid. I know I hate Christmas and all so that probably didn't help this but most of these movies with WWE stars are stupid too. Except for See No Evil, that movie was tight.

2) A lot of my problem with it too is the dark comedy part of it. It's never really scary and they just try to make inappropriate santa jokes that aren't actually funny.

3) That hot girl from Nothing to Lose that Nick Beam should've gotten on is in the beginning of this movie before she gets TKO'd.

4) This movie did set a new record for shortest movie ever. It was fucking an hour and 11 minutes long. That's fucking crazy.

Every year I get my hopes up about these Christmas horror movies that never go anywhere, smh

D-

Pulse

1) Why is it so dark the whole time? It's like it's in black and white or something. It's really hard to keep watching the movie when everyone is just running around with the lights off the whole time.

2) I still don't really get it. The dude gets like sucked in by these internet forces and somehow commits suicide? And why do they keep goofing around on the guys computer after he's dead?

3) I think they need to quit trying to remake these Japanese movies. I'll bet the original one was light years ahead of this one.

4) This really reminded me of that stupid movie Mirrors. It doesn't make any sense why there's these goblins that try to suck you into the computer because you were in their way kind of like how in mirrors it didn't make sense why the people in the mirrors wanted to get you.

Uhhhhh

C

The Human Centipede

1) Uhh, this was pretty gross lol. I guess I knew that before I watched it, but it was worse than I thought lol.

2) The bad guy is pretty jitsu the whole time. I don't know why he talks like he's a n00b. I don't imagine me watching too many more of any movies he's in lol.

3) Sucks for the girl in the middle who was just left there to hang out at the end of the movie. None of this movie was really uplifting at all, it was mostly pretty depressing :(

4) One tight part to come out of the movie was when 2 critics far more qualified than myself reviewed it: Beavis and Butthead. You can see their review here lol.

I guess it was unique, but besides that this was a turd

D

The Hitcher (2007)

Wgtf, getting back to the basics today.

1) The beginning of this one was pretty tight just like in the 1986 version. They go on a road trip which is always tight and then they see the crazy hitcher which gets the moving going pretty good.

2) For all my love for RomCom movies, I'm really not wild about all these horror movies that start out with these teens that are in love and excited to start their lives together. When I was falling asleep to I Know What You Did Last Summer last night, it's like this revelation just hit me. I know it doesn't make much sense but it's just like come on, not now.

3) This suffers from some similar problems that plagued the first one. I mean why do the cops think that they were the ones killing them? And how did that guy get hooked up to the truck?

4) At an hour and 27 minutes though, it was hard to go wrong with this one,

B-

8 Mile Trailer

No real reviews today tweet world, just wanted everyone to experience the trailer for the movie I watch before all my finals. This never gets old.

The Wedding Date

1) This was like a much worse version of Pretty Woman. She hires an escort to go to some wedding with her so she can make her ex-boyfriend jealous. Yadayadayada they end up falling for each other.

2) Do you think the escort would really fall for this girl? I mean, nothing against her or anything, but isn't the whole point of being an escort that you don't fall for your people? Seems like the more realistic thing would be him wanting more money and taking off on her.

3) Why do they have to go on a first date after they decide to be together at the end of the movie? There's some other movie I've seen not too long ago that I can't remember where this happens too and it doesn't make any sense. It's like, it's not that they just had a good weekend or something, but they manage to fall in love, fight, and then promise to be together. Is a first date really necessary at this point? I mean the dude is becoming unemployed for you, give him a break.

4) One of the only good parts was the escort had a role in Season 9 of Friends. He plays Gavin, the guy that temporarily replaces Rachel at work and trys to court her, albeit unsuccessfully.

D+

Friends with Benefits

1) It was really funny at times. Actually I think the whole first like hour of the movie was pretty tight.

2) I don't get why they ever decided to start seeing other people.In Going the Distance they figure this out pretty quickly and seemed to avoid all these problems. I mean, what did they think would happen if they started seeing other people?

3) FWIW it didn't make any sense that she got all mad at him for just wanting to be friends in the middle of the movie. I thought that was the whole point of their pact?

4) Three other pretty random drawbacks.
a) Justin Timberlake- I've never been a big fan and this movie didn't change anything.
b) Flash mobs- are stupid. Him orchestrating one at the end was jitsu.
c) The music- during the whole movie was pretty bad. If they would've actually played Third Eye Blind it would've been tight.

Crazy Stupid Love is just running laps around this,

C+

Top 10 Movie Lines #1 - Nothing to Lose- "You Like Girl Scout Cookies?"

Wgbw, Number 1 is from the hit movie NOTHING TO LOSE. In all reality this isn't the best line in movie history but I'll have to explain why later. Nevertheless, it's still good.

The bad guys tell Tim Robbins that he must've sold more girl scout cookies then any other member of the bunch. Martin Lawrence grabs the gun and has the best line in motion picture history: "You like girl scout cookies? Come here come here, here's a cookie."

You can see it at the 1:15ish mark.

Top 10 Movie Lines #2 - 8 Mile- "I Don't Give a Fuck Who It Is"

Alright bw, time for #2. I know I initially prefaced there not being too many 8 Mile/Bad Boys lines since I've already beat them to death in this blog. However, one that hasn't gotten a lot of attention is right before B Rabbit battles. Cheddar Bob comes to tell him that he drew Lickity Split in the first round, and asks him if he's okay with that. B Rabbit just responds "I don't give a fuck who it is." How tight is that? It's very good way to approach life's challenges lol.

Sorry for the poor quality on the clip, you have to turn it up a bit.

Top 10 Movie Lines #3 - American Wedding- "Fucking Right Doggy"

Number 3 is from American Wedding. It's this tight scene where Stifler's waiting on the dog to #2. "Fucking right doggy" was a mainstream of our vocabulary for like 3 years. FYI on the video, it cuts out the first part where he's waiting on the dog which is real tight. For the most part anything Stifler says during any of the movies is tight.And the trailer for the Fourth Movie also looks sick.

Top 10 Movie Lines #4 - Gladiator- "Maximum Decimus Meridius"

Wgbw, #4 is from THE GLADIATOR. It had a bunch of good lines (what we do echoes in eternity) but this one takes the cake. @buns0n used to wake the neighbors up with this one.

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."