Mother's Day (2010)

1) I meant to review this on the actual Mother's Day but I was being too good of a son to remember lol.

2) Eh. I'm not sure this was as sick as of a torture porn movie as the original Last House on the Left but still seemed to have the same kind of M.O. Only here it's just some yahoos that go back to their moms house after a failed bank robbery and realize that other people have taken over the house after its been foreclosed.

3) I don't understand why the bad guys have to up the ante so much after they get back to the house. I mean, I know these people might have stolen your mom's money/house and know that you robbed someone, but why play all the Sawesque tricks on everyone?

4) The other problem with this movie's generic plot is that it adds way too many story lines to keep track of. There's like 14 people in the basement, more victims outside the house, the mom, and all those misfit sons. My ADD makes it hard enough to keep up with all these other movies- this one was (almost) too much.

Nothing wild about this one,

C

The Devil Inside

1) These exorcist movies are real hit or miss. This one reminded me of a slightly better version of Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes: bad ending and a poor attempt at showing 'actual' footage.

2) And this might have been one of the worst movie endings of all time. I mean, I get having everyone just be possessed and stuff but what was up with the "for more information about this ongoing investigation please visit the following website"? They couldn't just say 'we never knew what happened' but had to try and get viewers to go log on to some website to generate more money for this mediocre movie? SMH.

3) In the interests of full disclosure, I did not go log onto this other website so maybe I didn't see the actual movie ending. I didn't want to endorse this ending anymore lol.

4) I guess for all the possession movies that have been floating around this one was at least kind of original. I didn't get board and they never really explored this plot angle before.

Meh,

C-

The Five-Year Engagement

1) After pondering this over I'm convinced this is probably one of my top 5 romcoms of all time. Obvi it's a little more comedy than romance, but it's still top notch stuff.

2) Despite all the rumors of Buffalo crying, this one actually made me close. The scene at the end where they get back together just makes everything end in such a tight way. I really thought that there was a chance they weren't going to get back together (which would have obvi ruined the movie) so when they got back together I was pretty moved lol.

3) The shit was super funny too. The video clip with Billy Joel had me rolling on the floor and the quasi reference to the Saw movies during the psychology experiment was good shit.

4) Even my complaints about the movie are fairly immaterial. It was pretty goofy that the guy who played the crazy roommate in Notting Hill was the professor who is the main countervailing love interest lol. And the part where Jason Segel goes all caveman is pretty goofy too.

Nonetheless, definitely something to write home about,

A+

The Girl Next Door (2007)

1) Uhhhh, no more of these smh. I'm not wild about all the torturesque horror movies (see Last House on the Left (2009) and I Spit on Your Grave (1978)), and this was more of the same. There's some girl who has to go live with her aunt and messed up cousins who do all of this screwed up stuff to her. Uhhhhhh.

2) Two thumbs down on the ending too. I mean the girl just dies after all of that horrible stuff happens to her? I guess the only positive part is that some guy named Officer Jennings arrests her so hopefully she gets some legal justice.

3) SMH at this movie for ruining the sister from Sixteen Candles. It was hard to take her serious as some psycho at first, but now I think this movie would make it hard for me to sit through Sixteen Candles again.

4) And what on earth is that guy talking about in the end? "Sometimes the past is a blessing or curse?" How would this sad, depressing, evil story be a blessing for anyone? How a torture movie can try to portray itself as a movie with some touching message at the end is beyond me.

This subset of horror movies sucks,

F

The Vow

Whats good blog world. I'm really sorry for the extended delay. The whole last semester of finals in law school and job thing was really busy smh lol.

1) This was pretty mediocre. I'm all about the romance movies, but they just screw this up. I never understood why they make a movie that they bill as one of the all time great love stories and then dont have them fall back in love at the end of the movie. I mean, I get it- they agree to go on a date or something but besides that it's like why don't we just go the whole 9 yards and have them fall in love again?

2) Some of the movie had some stupid parts too. The girls best friend sleeps with her dad? And the girl's old dick finance is the guy from The Strangers? Come on now.

3) It still had some good cheesy parts that I obvi enjoy. Like the line where he says that she fell in love with him once and he'll get her to do it again. Good stuff.

With Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams it's hard to go too far off course,

C