The Purge: Election Year

1) This movie sucked. I don't even know how it qualified as a horror movie except for people acting weird and dressing like clowns.

2) Pretty goofy plot. Some election is coming up and someone runs wanting to end the purge (from tha first movie). Some of the purge supporters try and kill her tha night of in order to maintain tha purge forever.

3) I mean how goofy was this? The chick at tha beginning tried to steal candy from the store then returned in a halloween costume covered in blood singing about the purge. She stood there yelling "I'm gonna get my candy." Like WTF? How dumb is this? Then some chick walks out and shoots her lol. Too many of these people are very lackadaisical just running around singing getting TKOd.

4)  It was only like an hour and a half long but I literally fell asleep twice during the movie. It was that boring. You could watch a 10 minute clip of the movie to figure out this is the most predictable boring overdone movie of the last decade.

5) The only good part is that tha title reminds me of 2016's current front runner for song of tha year: Eric Church's RECORD YEAR. This movie would've been bumped up 2 notches if that song just played tha whole time and renamed itself "Tha Purge: Having a Record Year."

D-

Unfriended

Like I've previously said (not) about the Artist and the new Chucky movie, it had me on my feet clapping by the end. What a tight movie.

1) I actually bought this like a year ago to watch with a lady friend, but you all know how long those usually last lol. Anywho, the plot is basically that these 5 bozos posted a video of a drunk girl at school who (wasn't on team Mavs) then killed herself. A year later she comes back to haunt them.

2) I think it was pretty top notch and creative. I mean, lots of movies have tried to do the social media/ point-of-view footage, but never like this. When I first turned it on I thought it would get lame since you are just watching it through that Blair chick's computer, but it really was pretty unique. It also didn't get too gory which was solid.

3) Also- what a horrible group of juveniles lol. One dude admits to putting roofies in someones drink, raping them, and then having her get an abortion. One of them stole $800 from the drug dealer who got ratted out by the third person who was cheating on his bestfriend's lady friend, who was the chick who filmed the girl passed out and wrecked the other chick's car when she was drunk.

4) Probably the biggest lesson of the movie is that juvenile crime needs to be stopped early. It's basically a big public service announcement about the dangers of underage drinking, not teaching kids about consent, and selling drugs. Kids and their social media SMH LOL

A

Blair Witch (2016)

Oh lord

1) Many of you long blog fans will remember when I reviewed tha first movie (one of my first posts on tha blog). If you haven't read it, I would recommend it because 30 year old Buffalo and 24 year old Buffalo still share similar criticisms.

2) The movie was off to a good start. JJ and I had tha theater to our selves and we had soda and candy.

3) Only then tha wheels fall off. It's a sequel where they are trying to find his sister from the first movie (which reminds you of tha remake Friday the 13th). One girl cuts her foot and then it starts pulsating and later spits out a piece of string. (Go back and read that sentence again- it was that bad). Then she dies when she falls off a tree trying to retrieve a drone. Her companion dies (maybe) when a tree falls on him. SMH

4) Finally at the end you anticipate you'll get some closure. They run into the same cabin as the first movie. It looks the same inside. You finally figure out why people stare in the corner (so they don't see the witch and die). But then they ruin it some more. Creepy dude from the beginning comes back to try to kidnap the chick. The guy and chick (SPOILER) both die after they look at the witch.

5) Usually I don't do a 5, but this was bad. Things that tha movie didn't resolve: a) was tha creepy guy really in on tha whole thing? b) did that Pete (Petey sp?) guy really die? c) how can tha witch stop time and make it flash outside? d) why did they buy these 3 dollar budge flashlights instead of those industrial ones? d) WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DO THESE PEOPLE KEEP FILMING THIS? I mean, you're dragging yourself down a tunnel after you see a bunch of creepy figures out in the middle of the woods, and you're like "I really better make sure to get this on tape.

A SMDH moment for sure,

C- (only because it is better than that awful Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2)

The Visit

The good thing about not blogging for a year is that there is no shortage of material to go to town on.

1) I saw this hit 2015 movie in theaters. These two kids go to the boonies to visit their grandparents who are estranged from their mom. The grandparents start doing all this weird stuff and it goes from there.

2) I don't know why the kids don't just obey their grandparents and not go to the basement or stay up past 9:30. Seems like a pretty simple rule to follow that would have avoided all of these shenanigans. (I wouldn't want to go in some scary basement and lord knows I can't stay up past 9:30.) I mean, they see their grandma naked, projectile vomiting, and him using the tool-shed. I'd do as I was told and stay in my room lol.

3) The whole "cell phones don't work in this part of the country" subplot is getting kind of goofy in 2016. The only place I know where cell phones don't work is at Memorial Stadium during packed KU FOOTBALL games.

4) And really, how irresponsible is the mom? You haven't spoken to your parents in a bajillion years and you send your kids there with no oversight. The sequel will be social services taking the kids into state custody lol.

Overall pretty good. I didn't see the crazy ending coming and it was pretty short lol.

B

Krampus

What's good blog world. Figured I'll try and bring back tha blogging for this October lol. Some of you may remember last Winter's hit movie KRAMPUS. I didn't quite make it to tha theaters to see this one due to tha movie CREED (which was pretty OTC btw).

1) Anywho, this was pretty solid for being about Christmas. My loyal blog readers will remember that I can't stand Christmas (see here, here, and here), but this was still pretty original for being based on a pretty well-known XMas horror figure.

2) Most of the time they sit around and complain about Christmas (which makes a lot of sense to me obvi).  I'm with them- a forced holiday that makes everything busier and that if you complain about at all then everyone tells you to quit ruining the special day. (As a side note- I usually make up having a ladyfriend every year so I can leave Christmas early lol). But I guess that's why Krampus pops out- he can't stand when people don't like Christmas.

3) Although I will say the movie gets pretty goofy in the middle of it. There's like a bunch of gingerbread cookies that start shooting nail guns at that one dude. Krampus appears to be able to metaphor as tha one scene shows him jumping over houses, and then becomes a clown who eats people. I don't know if I totally get it.

4) When JJ and I saw CREED in theaters I kept telling him how funny I thought it would be if Krampus just jumped out at the end of the movie when they run up the stairs. I'm glad he didn't lol.

B-