**Editor's note 2: I realize the whole post looks goofy. I don't know how that happened. I assume it had something to do with the copying and pasting but I can't figure it out lol.***
Get excited blog world, @cbear's here to guest review the made for TV (not really, but it should have been) movie Devil's Due. Tbh Buff and I had high hopes given we thought it had a 32% on Rotten Tomatoes, which really isn't that bad. Turns out Buff read it wrong and it actually only has 18%, not surprising.
1) Like many recent cinematic successes (Paranormal Activity 1, Paranormal Activity 2, Paranormal Activity 3, Paranormal Activity 4) this movie was shot in the home video footage style. That was cool but the main dude (a husband documenting his marriage) can't hold a video camera stable to save his fucking life. So I was on the verge of vomiting the whole time and in turn missed a fair amount of the movie. tldr: the cinematography fucking blew.
2) As a recent Friday Night Lights fan I was psyched to see Matt Saracen was the husband. And I was not so psyched to see this article hit the nail on the head about the FNL curse, none of the actors can make good movies.
3) One of the biggest problems I had with the movie was I was constantly asking questions like "Are those people from the Dominican Republic?", "Did she already have the baby?", "I thought the husband died?", "Are those suppose to be zombies?" I wasn't the only one, even DB Ph. D. couldn't figure it out.
4) Ya know what's weird? In Paranormal Activity when furniture flies around on its own I fucking freaked out but in this movie I was just like "what is happening? I need to go vomit." They didn't really re-invent the wheel I guess.
In AJ's words "I was so bored I just picked my nose and wiped it on Alan's jeans" which honestly isn't that unusual. But trust me, this isn't one of those ah well why not watch a low rated horror movie because it has some serious DA's like nausea and brain damage.
Man I really wish we would have chosen All Cheerleaders Die instead.
D-
Reading this review, I kept thinking, "it just isn't as good without that Buff voice," but then what do you know, I get to tha last paragraph, and it has that sick quote with tha sort of descriptive language and scene setting only Buff can bring. .
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