Ginger Snaps

1) It was actually pretty tight. I'm not a big werewolf movie fan nor some of the other inappropriate content in here but this was legit.

2) The whole obsession with death thing at the beginning was (obvi) pretty morbid. I don't know what the whole point of that was or why it really mattered with the rest of the movie. Maybe it just went a long with the depressing theme song during the first part of the movie, who knows.

3) I watched the trailer for the sequel; boy howdy does it look bad.

4) Ginger was the same girl that was in the hit movie Freddy v. Jason. I don't know why she's not in more movies.

Good stuff,

A-

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

1) This follow up story line was pretty stupid. I'm still not sure I even understand what actually happened. It's like they wake up in the morning and realize they did all this stupid shit the night before and have to figure out how it happened. Seemed like it was pretty similar in movie quality to Dude, Where's My Car?, which might be one of the single worst movies of all time.

2) FWIW the movie started out really tight. They all decide to go investigate all of the shenanigans of the original Blair Witch Project. I've always wanted to go camping up in Oregon to go hang out by all the places where the alien abductions went down. It still sounds tight but I just never realized how far away Oregon actually is.

3) The whole movie flashback part of this got really long and boring. It would have been a lot better if there was just 1 flashback of all this crazy stuff going down instead of these constant annoying brief flashbacks.

It was pretty bad,

D+

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

1) It's really tight. It seems like everyone really hated on this one but I thought it was a lot tighter than the first one. I think the additional RomCom quality they added to this one pushed it over the edge. I get that he's going after the chick in the first one, but it seems like it's a lot more of a central theme of this one.

2) That NSA agent always comes off across as a n00b in all the movies he's been in. Maybe it's from his early days at that jitsu daily show, but he's pretty bad in this and in Hot Tub Time Machine.

3) Kumar's lady friend is a babe and one of my celebrity crushes. She's not as good as she was in the award winning movie The Roommate but she's still pretty legit.

4) There's a bunch of tight scenes in it. The whole part with NPH is tight. The ending is also real money where he does the goofy math thing.

Definitely a top notch RomCom,

A

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet

1) Had to change the original picture, I guess the theater poster for this is pretty risque lol.

2) Danielle Harris from the Halloween 4/5 movies is in it. That might have been one of the only redeeming qualities of it lol. It was an okay teen thriller, but the end just got so boring.

3) The scissors kill at the beginning was very Danielle Harris esque. It was almost identical to the way Halloween 4 ends. However, all of the stupid blood that followed was not.

4) Maybe I'm getting old or something, but too many of these new horror movies that just love showing blood go everywhere are kinda stupid. I mean, I get that blood is scary and stuff, but it seems like everyone is just trying to find new ways to make it squirt out and go everywhere.

5) This movie had way too much blood, and way too little story. I'm not a Mary Hatchet expert or anything but theres all these spooky stories about her so the movie was a pretty big disappointment. I guess that makes sense given that I'm not even sure this movie was ever in theaters.

You could find better things to do on a Sunday morning,

C-

Piranha 3D

1) Only one way to describe this movie: SMH. Usually when I sign up for one of these dumb horror movies I get what I'm getting myself into. I didn't really think Sorority Row was gonna win any Academy Awards or anything, but it was what I thought it would be. I don't know what I really hoped for in this movie but dear god was it bad.

2) There's an earthquake that springs to life these piranhas and then they make there way to some spring break. That's really the whole movie. There's a brief interlude every 10 minutes of just showing some random Spring Break scene and then people get eaten. #smh

3) I guess the guest stars were unexpected- KP's old manager from Eastbound and Down was in it and the crazy doc from Back to the Future: 25th Anniversary Trilogy (+ Digital Copy) [Blu-ray], but besides that this one was one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

4) Smh at myself too for continually watching these 3D movies in 2D. Not that watching this in 3D would have made this movie any more bearable.

5) Actually there was nothing about this movie that was even kind of note worthy. There were 1400 previews, nothing actually happened and at 90 minutes it was still too long. It would be hard to add anything to this movie to make it worse. Maybe if that Peanut Butter Jelly Time song was on repeat the whole time. Besides that this was bottom of the pile.

F

Insidious

1) First movie since Poltergeist that really scared the bejesus out of me. There's the part where this shadowy dude is just standing outside of the bedroom. Reminded me of The Box where there's just some dude creepily hanging out the window. Actually now that I think about it this movie was a lot like the Box. It had a sick scary beginning but then turned into a turd.

2) The life size dolls and devil people freak me out too. This movie just had all kinds of scary shit going on in it. In the middle of the movie my door squeaked open too. Scary stuff.

3) The plot didn't make that much sense. They had to go to some psychic world to recover the kid from the fake coma? And the mystery dude pops up in the pictures? #smh

4) I think sometimes these movies would just be scarier if they didn't try to develop some stupid explanation for the chain of events. The Box would've been good, One Missed Call woulda been tight, too many movies to count. They shoulda just let the creepy shit go down for awhile. For all the stupid movies that don't really have a plot or ending (see Annie Hall or The Graduate), you think they could at least try to do this sometime with horror movies. Like the reason Halloween was so tight was because there was really no explanation/motive for him at first. And the reason this was so jitsu is because they tried to explain it.

In the end the scary parts more than made up for the jitsu,

B-

The Lincoln Lawyer

1) It's hard for me to watch too many law movies with all the law stuff I've learned. It's annoying to watch movies with people who always say the movie's inaccurate for some reason but ay ay. Obviously the one legal exception to this is Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - The Twelfth Year. That show is so money.

2) Matthew McConaughey is good but I think he's better at the RomComs. It's not like he was bad here, but maybe all the RomComs he's in are so tight that this seemed ho hum.

3) Kinda weak sauce that the mom comes after him at the end. And the parking ticket was the big revelation. #smh

4) It was kinda tight that the dude in jail was from Eastbound & Down: The Complete Second Season [Blu-ray]. Maybe that made it harder to think of this as some thrilling drama too lol.

C

Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes

Uhhhhhhhhh.

1) It's a pretty bad movie. They say all the "material" used for the film is real at the beginning and hasn't been doctored or anything but that's obviously not true when they switch to the sepia color film. Unless there were like 42 cameras available for this and hi-tech night vision cameras back in the day I'm calling shenanigans.

2) I was only half paying attention but it seems like it just kinda slow/drawn out. Then again I feel like this with a lot of movies.

3) FWIW, exorcism movies really freak me out. Hell, even back in the day Days of Our Lives really spooked me out. Marlena got possessed by the devil and I nearly had to quit watching the show.

4) You know how sometimes movies try to appeal to people by saying "from the directors of really good movie x"? I didn't realize that this one tried to appeal by saying it was the tapes that inspired The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I mean, don't get it twisted, that's a good movie and all, but trying to just appeal to the story? Eh.

5) And dear god was the ending bad. Was it just so low budge that they couldn't keep the feed going or was that cutting in and out supposed to be dramatic? #SMH

D-

Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror

1) Eva Mendes is in it, she's a babe.

2) Kids are a lot better at kicking ass this movie. I mean in that first one the dude obviously pwns like 35 of the kids at once. In the first scene of this movie the kids are just making it rain.

3) I'm not quite sure why they had to have 400 sub-plots. There's the goofy dude sitting in the house, that other guys sister like abandoned him, and the whole eva mendes trying to let that guy down. The whole thing was way too confusing for a traditional COTC movie.

4)The dudes head splitting in half at the end b/c the kids like got some weird superpowers was kinda stupid.

Pretty good, but it just dragged on and on even for such a short movie.

C-