Bye Bye Man

Wgbw, This below post doesn't have much to say because honestly, this movie speaks for itself. I've re-written this post a bunch, but can't find tha words to say.

1) This movie was awesome. JJand I saw it in the tha finest city in west Johnson County and tha atmosphere was almost umatched. Initially, this movie didn't have much going for it. But, JJ and I saw a preview at that godawful Blair Witch movie and decided that we needed to tune in.

2) And, TBH, it is a (much better) knock off of tha hit movie CANDYMAN.

3) 2011 UncleBuff is a little more skeptical of all of these shenanigans than 2017 Buffalo, but in all reality, this is scary as nuts. I mean, you go into that house and then you die. And every time you think about his name, you die.  If you even think his name...you die. [Random side note- UB has been living by himself for a min now, and was concerned to go to tha laundry room after this. That should tell you how scary it was lol.]

4) DON'T SAY IT DON'T THINK IT. DON'T SAY IT DON'T THINK IT.

BYE BYE MAN,

A

Unfriended

Like I've previously said (not) about the Artist and the new Chucky movie, it had me on my feet clapping by the end. What a tight movie.

1) I actually bought this like a year ago to watch with a lady friend, but you all know how long those usually last lol. Anywho, the plot is basically that these 5 bozos posted a video of a drunk girl at school who (wasn't on team Mavs) then killed herself. A year later she comes back to haunt them.

2) I think it was pretty top notch and creative. I mean, lots of movies have tried to do the social media/ point-of-view footage, but never like this. When I first turned it on I thought it would get lame since you are just watching it through that Blair chick's computer, but it really was pretty unique. It also didn't get too gory which was solid.

3) Also- what a horrible group of juveniles lol. One dude admits to putting roofies in someones drink, raping them, and then having her get an abortion. One of them stole $800 from the drug dealer who got ratted out by the third person who was cheating on his bestfriend's lady friend, who was the chick who filmed the girl passed out and wrecked the other chick's car when she was drunk.

4) Probably the biggest lesson of the movie is that juvenile crime needs to be stopped early. It's basically a big public service announcement about the dangers of underage drinking, not teaching kids about consent, and selling drugs. Kids and their social media SMH LOL

A

The Addams Family (1991)

WGBW, Uncle Buffalo is back. I know I constantly apologize for tha lack of delays but it is tha second greatest day of tha year, and I wouldn't forget about this.

1) Despite 24 year old Buff's earlier thoughts, this movie is definitely running laps around tha second movie. Tha first one obvi started it all, it avoided that wretched gremlin from tha second, and they play golf most of tha movie.

2) To be honest, this whole movie freaked me out for the better part of my childhood. Obvi, not as much as Child's Play 2, but really pretty close. I mean, there is a fucking hand that can be anywhere that just randomly messes with you; tha Lurch guy could put a beating on anyone; and two really creepy children and tha spooky uncle.

3) FWIW, this movie was also tight because it was tha start of Christina Ricci's acting career. She has never really been in anything tight (except for that one ep of tha Good Wife obvi), but she is pretty top notch.

4) This movie always has a special place in my <3 due to its constant airtime over tha Halloween season. It also had a fucking pinball machine that was in every arcade lol.

Super pumped tw.

A-

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

1) I think the connections here between this and tha rest of the Paranormal movies is pretty difficult to grasp, even for a local expert like Uncle Buffalo.

2) Tha movie is hinted to at tha end of Paranormal Activity 4 with tha newspaper clippings they see near tha end of tha movie. I think the general gist is that all of tha crazy witch chicks out of Paranormal Activity 3 are the ones who come to "mark" (read: alan) these kids to get possessed and ultimately TKO'd by demons.

3) I think to get to that point you have to have time travel, which you can see when he runs through tha place in tha 3rd movie and somehow ends up back with tha girls from tha original Paranormal Activity. I've said before that time travel in horror movies is pretty jitsu, but it may make a little sense here since it could set up tha ability for future PN movies to come out without having to pay heed to any continuity in tha franchise.

4) All that being said it was pretty stupid. I think tha whole point of all these movies was to spook the hell out of you while it was all quiet by having something random jump out of nowhere. Almost all of this movie is trying to explain loose ends, which I guess is good if someone is paying super close attention. But I think the whole point of these movies is for people with ADD to be able to go and be scared without having to figure out a story line.

C-

Paranormal Activity 4

1) Same old movie as the rest of them. I heard all of the reviews said that it was just the same old thing but I don't really know what people are looking for in these movies. I mean, it's obvi just gonna be a bunch of quiet moments with something crazy jumping out and scaring the hell out of everyone (myself included). You get what you pay for.

2) On that note it made me jump about every 2 minutes. I preemptively knew this and tried to preoccupy myself, but things like shadows, creepy little kids, and that weird contingent of chicks spook the hell out of me. 

3) That being said the movie didn't really wrap up any odd ends. So that Katie girl who's been in every movie is still around TKOing people, but it seems hard to figure out what they'll do with the plot now. And what was up with her letting the boyfriend hook up all the cameras in her house? He's like 'yeah let me put up a bunch in your bedroom and stuff' SMH.

It also kind of begs the question how all of these incidents get videotaped each and every time. They're kind of tossing the 'found footage' theory out the door with this one.

4) The one thing I do enjoy about watching these is trying to catch horror connections to other movies that I think always get hidden in there. The little kid riding that bike around was def from The Shining, the girl levitating from the bed was straight up the Exorcist, and the kid getting pulled into the tub was a shout-out to Nightmare on Elm Street. The last one I caught was when the kid is up goofing around with the spirit by the TV was probably a homage to Poltergeist. For all my idiotic writing, I do think I know some stuff about horror movies \o/

B

Paranormal Activity 2

1) Wgbw, after reviewing the First and Third I finally made it to the second. This is probably somewhere in the middle of the two movies. It's obvi scarier than the first one, but no where near the 3rd one.

2) After watching these out of order, they still kinda confuse me. It's like the second one is a prequel to the first in the sense that it's just a little bit earlier while the 3rd one is the actual prequel. Kind of confusing to go all out of order. I'm really hoping the 4th one just goes down after the events in this one and not in between a bunch of them lol.

3) Anybody catch the Michael Myers look-a-like hanging out in the background of that kitchen scene? He's pretty visible for a lot of the dark camera scenes and goes away sporadically too \o/

4) That reminds me, if I was putting together one of these movies, I'd never waste money to see if there were any IMDB 'goofs'. I mean, pretend a cup was in one scene and not in the next. It's not really a goof, just a weird paranormal activity that the movie doesn't really explain. Seems like it's hard for the production crew to go wrong in these movies LOL.

Eh,

B-

Paranormal Activity 3

1) Top notch spooky stuff. One of the things that scares the bejesus out of me is when people are just standing somewhere staring at you for no reason. I think it's why The Strangers really spooked the hell out of me. This movie was just chalked full of this little ghost chick standing and staring. Really spooky. Movies with scary little kids also give me the willies and this had a bunch of them running around too.

2) The whole keeping a camera on at all times doesn't make any sense. Like if someone was actually haunting the place why would you carry around the stupid camera to tell your ladyfriend about it? I'd be like put down the camera and just tell me what is going on. It's kind of why The Blair Witch Project didn't make any sense either. I mean, your friend is stranded out in the woods and you're still trying to video tape it? SMH

3) Why did that one chick agree to babysit here? I mean, there's already 2 creepy little girls that are there, and then they tell you that they have these cameras all rigged up in order to spot all this scary activity that's going on. Just sounds like poor planning to me.

4) The ending was kind of confusing. There was like the group of old women wearing black and then the ladyfriend's mom popped that guys back. I get that he's mooching off his girlfriend's money to buy those VHS tapes, but was that really necessary? She must've really like her old boyfriend lol,

B+

Paranormal Activity

1) At first I thought this was super spooky but now it was pretty ho-hum. The first time I watched it I couldn't make it through the part where she's hovering over him in bread just staring at him. That's some spooky stuff. People standing around looking spooky just staring at people is one of my pet peeves lol.

2) The rest of it seemed like a bad remix of The Blair Witch Project and Poltergeist. I can't believe that people actually thought this footage was real. I mean, this is just a less spooky version of the BWP. It's just in some house in the suburbia instead of some creepy woods.

3) I'd echo the my criticism of the BWP's camera usage. If any girl I was living with was just recording some supernatural entity scaring the shit out of me I think it'd be time to rethink the relationship.

4) And why on God's green earth don't they just run out of the house and never come back? Or turn the TV on at night so you're not in the dark? Sleeping with the tv on solves.

Meh,

D+