Cheaters' Club

1) It wasn't super spooky lol. The plot line is that there is some therapist who is telling all of her clients to engage in extramarital affairs to save their marriages. But then all of them start getting lopped off. Not the best, but I do have a thing for lifetime movies.

2) I didn't think it was rocket science that one of the girls in the group had been in on it. Maybe it's just because these Lifetime movies are generally pretty predictable lol.

3) And really why were they so resistant to the detectives? I mean, I get that you'd have to tell them you're cheating, but it's not like they are gonna make a poster to show your neighbors. SMH at obstructing justice lol.

4) That second girl that got TKO'd was off of House at the End of the Street.

It was pretty boring lol,

D+

The Call

1) For how goofy the movie poster for this one is, it was pretty okay. I mean, what's going on with the all red poster? And I'll bet a lot of 911 calls are personal LOL.

2) For how solid of a 911 operator she is, you think she'd be trained not to go out and do maverick detective work. All the police in Los Angeles and someone who sits behind a desk all day manages to figure out where this killer guy is hiding?

3) And really she's got better odds of winning the lottery then randomly getting this guy's new victim to call in again. I mean, a 911 operator takes a phone call in LOS ANGELES. Then, it freaks her out so much that she goes on admin duty for awhile. THEN she's doing a random training one day and manages to get the hear a caller who is getting stalked by the same killer. What are the odds of that? (As a side note, I've been calling into a lot of radio contests lately and never manage to be the 95th caller. Maybe I'm just in the bitter barn lol.)

4) And what was going on with the ending? They finally track this guy down and then just leave him in this underground home he has? I don't think they even really injure him. They just tie him down in his own little unfinished basement and leave. What justice smh.

All that and the movie was still pretty original and kept my attention.

C

Fracture

1) Obvi this movie appeals to me because of my love 4 tha law. Other movie thrillers (A Few Good Men and My Cousin Vinny) are tight like this.

2) This movie had pretty solid plot twists too. That one guy gii with the victim was pretty cray at trial. And I could never figure out what happened to the gun until the end. I did manage to figure out that double jeopardy thing tho lol.

3) Speaking of the ending, when you think about it, it’s kinda irresponsible by the DA. I mean, the first confession gets thrown out b/c that one guy is biased b/c he was gii with the girl. Then they have the DA who violates the restraining order and stalks the guy go take his second confession and leaves disinterested police officers outside. In the new trial the judge would be like SMDH, didn’t you do this last time? Why would you take the confession? You gonna testify smh?

4) That law firm girl tho. She was OTC! Aye!!

A-

The Butterfly Effect

WGBW, sorry for the delays. I promise no more days off on the blog. I know October's half way over and I promise not to disappoint anymore ;)

1) I should cover some jurisdictional issues up front. I know this isn't a horror movie per se, but it spooked me out quite a bit so I think it's worthy of inclusion here.

2) It's a really solid movie. Maybe it personally resonates with me or something, but it's always crazy to me how the butterfly effect operates in the real world. It's like, what if I never saw the original Halloween and never got a thing for horror movies? What if I trusted my instincts and never let the long-haired Bricker first hang out with me? What if I stayed in and never met that one* girl at the bar?  It's really wild stuff when you step back and think about how some chance encounter can affect your life lol.

3) Besides that this movie mixes the right bit of creepiness with optimism. I mean, the whole creepy dad/ Amy Smart falling off the cliff / kids leg getting blown off stuff is all pretty intense. But AK always gives you some hope that he could just go back and fix things.

4) I guess the movie ending is kind of bad. It reminded me of The Breakup when they just pass each other in the street and never know what could've been. Bunz always said no regrets, so it's hard for me to get on board with this idea that people should travel back in time to avoid making mistakes that they could fix in hindsight. Just gives you some deep stuff to think about.

B+

Mother's Day (2010)

1) I meant to review this on the actual Mother's Day but I was being too good of a son to remember lol.

2) Eh. I'm not sure this was as sick as of a torture porn movie as the original Last House on the Left but still seemed to have the same kind of M.O. Only here it's just some yahoos that go back to their moms house after a failed bank robbery and realize that other people have taken over the house after its been foreclosed.

3) I don't understand why the bad guys have to up the ante so much after they get back to the house. I mean, I know these people might have stolen your mom's money/house and know that you robbed someone, but why play all the Sawesque tricks on everyone?

4) The other problem with this movie's generic plot is that it adds way too many story lines to keep track of. There's like 14 people in the basement, more victims outside the house, the mom, and all those misfit sons. My ADD makes it hard enough to keep up with all these other movies- this one was (almost) too much.

Nothing wild about this one,

C

Funny Games

1) I saw this movie back in tha day with @Angelo when I was in the horrible state of Kentucky. I sort of like revisiting movies several after the fact to see if I've matured at all lol (see Vacancy).

2) It was better than I remembered, but still just sadistic as shit. I mean, they really just shot that little kid, how messed up is that? I'm not too gung ho about all the movies that have these screwed up endings.

3) I didn't really get all the stupid shenanigans in the movie. Like where he keeps talking to the camera, or rewinds the fucking movie after that guy gets TKO'd. I dunno, maybe it's some movie stuff I don't understand lol. Someone should explain what the purpose of them calling each other different names was, that didn't make much sense either.

4) I never put 2 and 2 together to figure out that the smart psycho guy is one of the main character off of Boardwalk Empire. I need to think outside the box more lol.

All that being said it was pretty original (minus the fact that it was an exact remake of the foreign version lol),

C

Straw Dogs (2011)

Wgbw, quick entry before a big saturday night lol

1) It had a good setup. Guy and chick move back to her hometown so they can build this house and he can get some quiet time to work. I don't really get why you're gonna move to a football town that's not in Texas, but whatever.

2) It was kind of fucked up too. I don't like rape scenes in movies and this one wasn't any different.

3) The end seemed a lot like the tight movie Fear. At the end they are just stuck trying to keep this ex-boyfriend and a group of his friends out of the house. They even kill the pet before going in. Seemed like an identical ending almost. The only difference is in this one the guys head gets trapped in a bear trap. Pretty jitsu.

4) I think the whole point of the movie is that a strong police/judicial system is important to preventing rural southern communities from going bonanza on each other lol.

C

Cape Fear

Sorry for the delays the last few days, was just a bunch of jitsu going on.

1) Pretty tight movie overall. I kinda like the legal thriller genre of movies and this one was pretty tight. It was a good evidence refresher too when they had that mock trial at the end lol.

2) The ending got a little long/jitsu. I mean, the guy came back from being TKO'd like a dozen times and then just eventually got trapped in the sunken ship? I think it woulda been tighter if they just eventually arrested him or something. Could've set up a tight sequel lol.

3) For some guy that couldn't read before he went to jail, Robert De Niro really learned up a storm during his time in the correctional facility. And dear god could he just put a whooping on people when he got out of there.

4) Crazy that young Juliette Lewis was in this movie.

Good stuff,

B

Seven

1) I dunno why Brad Pitt is so angry the whole time. He's got this tight wife to go hang out with and gets to make it rain with Morgan Freeman all day in this tight detective job.

2) I guess Kevin Spacey made a pretty good bad guy. His voice/character were pretty scary the whole time. I'm never really wild about any of the movies he's in (American Beauty), but I guess if he's going to be in a good movie, he might as well be the bad guy.

3) Where in the hell was this supposed to be set in? It like rains all the time, but then there's this desert just outside of this urban area? They could've made the weather less jitsu.

4) LOL there's an episode of Friends where Chandler is in a box. OPEN THE BOX!

A-

Phone Booth

1) It was pretty tight overall. I saw this in theaters with somebody back in the day but can't remember who, maybe @milhouse. I don't think I've ever watched this movie with someone who actually enjoys it but I thought it was tight. (Random FYI: bricker actually likes this movie and is glued to the tv when its on but he never wants to admit to it).

2) Kiefer Sutherland has the easiest job in the world in this movie just being the narrator. I'll bet he just did this from home and got paid a wreck of money.

3) Seems like Kiefer should get something better to do with his free time during the movie. I mean, the first two people that he talks about killing seemed like bad people (the pedophile and the thief). Even then this whole vigilante justice things just not a good idea. But Collin Farrell? Not that Collin Farrell is a great guy in this movie but the world's got bigger problems to tackle then some dude who pretends to be rich when he's not.

4) Roger Ebert gave it 2 thumbs up, me too.

A

The Lincoln Lawyer

1) It's hard for me to watch too many law movies with all the law stuff I've learned. It's annoying to watch movies with people who always say the movie's inaccurate for some reason but ay ay. Obviously the one legal exception to this is Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - The Twelfth Year. That show is so money.

2) Matthew McConaughey is good but I think he's better at the RomComs. It's not like he was bad here, but maybe all the RomComs he's in are so tight that this seemed ho hum.

3) Kinda weak sauce that the mom comes after him at the end. And the parking ticket was the big revelation. #smh

4) It was kinda tight that the dude in jail was from Eastbound & Down: The Complete Second Season [Blu-ray]. Maybe that made it harder to think of this as some thrilling drama too lol.

C

The Boy She Met Online

1) Usually not wild about the dramas but this popped up on tv and I do have a thing for lifetime movies. Me and @doggles watched it and its pretty legit.

2) It was kind of stupid how they played the suspenseful music the whole time. Kinda ruined the few moments in the movie where something crazy actually went down.

3) And I've never been to prison but how did the dude get onto an internet chatroom to meet some chick? Seems like the prison would generally frown on that. Who knows though - they are letting MMA fighter 'War Machine' blog from jail.

4) Good stuff for the most part. The storylines/drama in Lifetime movies always appeals to me but some jitsu stuff always happens at the end. What was up with the chick going up to the cabin? Who knows.

C

Single White Female

1) In anticipation of The Roommate coming out on Friday I thought I'd watch the early 90s version of it. I'd seen bits and pieces of it when I was a youngster but it's much better than I remembered.

2) I mean dear god, the trailers are almost identical. Here's the one for The Roommate and here's the one for Single White Female. Almost the only thing different is that old announcer. That guy was tight.

3) Shit was tight. The girl keeps acting crazy and the other chick just can't figure out a plan of action. High paced stuff right there.

4) It was pretty predictable. I mean I think everyone figures out that the new girl is gonna try to steal her boyfriend, and then kill everyone off by becoming her. But, whatever, it was still good.

Can't wait to see the roommate,

B+

Frozen

1) I'm not totally sure why I watched this. The plot is just these 3 n00bs getting stuck on a ski lift and they can't get down. I wondered how they would make this go on for 90 minutes and it turns out that they couldn't.

2) I mean, the most dramatic part of the movie is that there are a bunch of wolves running around below that'll kill them if they jump off. What kind of ski lodge is this? Granted, I'm not much of a winter sports fanatic, but I can't imagine some place being able to stay in business if there's a wreck of blood thirsty wolves just running around.

3) Way too predictable and boring. The chick gets frozen to the seat, a kid breaks his leg jumping down, and they get cold. Not much going on.

D+

Disturbia

1) The RomCom/Horror combo is really underrated and needs to be brought back in style. There's some movies where there's some romance going down during all the slashing (see Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI, which was this blogs first post!), but there's never quite anything like this. The amount of thriller is roughly on par with the amount of romancing going on. Good way to get the best of both worlds.

2) The last sequence is a little bit stretched. The dude's house was like an upscale haunted house with less shit popping out at you. Theres a bunch of walls with all these rotting corpses kind of sticking out of them. You would think the termite guy would have to come check the place out at some point and uncover all this jitsu.

3) That girl is a babe.

4) There's a dude named Ronnie who's tight. It's kinda weird though b/c at the end of the movie the 2 other characters make out and Ronnie just sits there providing commentary and video-taping it.

5) It wasn't really scary but the RomCom angle makes up for the total lack of screaming moments.

A

Fear

1) Pretty well rounded. Mark Wahlberg is kinda creepy and I've always been into the whole teen thriller thing.

2) Some of the characters get a little carried away. Markie Mark's protege is pretty jitsu. The part where he points at Reese Witherspoon when hes making out with the other chick is stupid. Or how does Reese Witherspoon get a boner for MW when he just stares at her real creepily.

3) The part where the dog's head just falls through the door is pretty creepy. So is that little Chucky doll thats just hanging out in that room.

4) Anyone notice how the woods scene gets reenacted in Halloween II? This one's not near as scary as that one but still kinda creepy.

Fairly good, maybe I've just seen it too many times to still be in love with it.

B

Swimfan

1) This was my favorite movie for a long time. Me and @buns0n went and saw it in theaters back in the day it was so tight. It's a really solid teen thriller thats got enough twists and plenty of cool shit happening in it.

2) I get that Erika Christenson is crazy, but dear god she's good looking. I dunno why Ben didn't leave his girlfriend for her.

3) The way she dies at the end is kind of jitsu. Dying in a swimming pool? I can't swim either but I could even make doggy paddle 10 feet to the railing. #jitsu

4) How the fuck do they get into the school pool on the reg? I was watching a movie on the lifetime movie network and the kid in it just visits the school pool on the reg too. You think they'd lock that business up.

Solid stuff

A

The Faculty

1) This movie really seems like the epitome of 90s teen flicks. The dude who plays Stan is in that awful movie Down to You. Stokely's in Identity and She's All That. And Josh Hartnett just seems like he was made for teen movies.

2) It's pretty sci-fi but still pretty good. The whole teen thriller genre movies are always really good and offset the goofy alien theme going on here.

3) The only stupid part is where the creature finally shows itself. It's like some giant mutating bug that looks like the creature from Beetlejuice. It'd be scarier if they were vampires or some shit- I dunno why the killers always have to be transformed into these weird blow up creatures.

Overall really solid

B

Identity

Not sure it's a horror movie but really tight

1) The twist is some crazy shit. I'da never guessed that it was just a figment of that dude's imagination. I guess it sucks to be one of the people at the hotel since they're just imaginary.

2) It's even good despite the fact that John Cusack is in it and he's pretty much never in any good movie. It's good that he stepped out of that weird indy role for this.

3) Amanda Peet's in it and shes tight. It's sick how she was the last one that survived.

B+ only because it's not technically a horror movie

Stepfather (2009)

1) I've never actually seen the original one and I'm okay with that. I always think those old movies are kind of jitsu and this one was tight.

2) The dad's really creepy. He plays a rapist on SVU who trys to be all suave about being innocent and it's almost the same role for this movie.

3) Reminded me a lot of Disturbia and Swimfan, 2 other fan favorites. Like Disturbia, there's the budding romance going down that's getting all fucked up because of the creepy killer. In Swimfan the dude gets out of rehab and nobody believes him, kinda like here.

The Swimfan similarities alone bump this business up

B+